Author: english-learner

How to deal with your Chinese mother-in-law?   [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2014-5-29 17:10:35 |Display all floors

We live with my husband’s parents. Actually, they give us plenty of space to do things as we please. I am not going to say it is the same as going out and living alone with your husband only, but actually there are lots of nice things about having them there. His mom cooks lovely things for us regularly, which is so sweet of her. Also, she is always reminding us to go on dates and do fun things together. She is a good friend to me, and I can definitely call her a second mother. Also, she swears that when we have kids she will babysit! How nice, right? Also, Brandon’s grandmother lives with us and she is just adorable, cheerful, and the kindest woman in the world. Love them all to death.

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Post time 2014-5-29 18:50:24 |Display all floors
  I can't answer this question since I'm not married.

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Post time 2014-5-29 20:18:09 |Display all floors
nebulapig Post time: 2014-5-29 16:07
My wife just had a baby and it is some kind of chinese thing for her parents to help raise the kids  ...

Bless you...

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Post time 2014-5-29 22:18:17 |Display all floors

I also have Chinese in laws and I have to live with the parents and grandparents, talking about a ticking bomb. There are times when I think of suicide, which is better than dealing with them. (I won't actually do it because I have a beautiful daughter.) I guess one advice is that try not to have direct conflict with them, whatever they say, just take it and in one ear, out the other. That's what is keeping me alive. I hope you guys don't have children yet because they will claim your child as their own! From how to feed them, how change their diapers, who gets to hold them, to how to educate them, etc. It will drive you insane! I'm so miserable I want a divorce already and we have only been married for 1.5yrs.

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Post time 2014-5-29 23:11:30 |Display all floors
You know that in the West, the mother-in-law is the butt of jokes. We do not mean any harm. It is a stereo type for a joke. Ready?  You look miserable today. Yes, my mother-in-law was staying with us, but she ran away with my next door neighbour. I am sad, I really miss him!
To read more about me: http://capaworld.capa.org/2014/01/17/capa-resident-director-china-programs-interview-colin-speakman/.

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Rank: 5Rank: 5

Post time 2014-5-29 23:12:49 |Display all floors
For Chinese relationships, well my GF lives in Shanghai and her mother lives near Wuhan. I hope it stays that way!
To read more about me: http://capaworld.capa.org/2014/01/17/capa-resident-director-china-programs-interview-colin-speakman/.

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Post time 2014-5-30 07:23:38 |Display all floors

Chinese mothers-in-law may, among other things, just show up and clean your apartment (laundry included) without notice. It happens. You may deem this inappropriate or an invasion of privacy - doesn't matter what you think. You married the daughter and it's a package deal. I feel guilty when she does this but have learned to chip in where I see an opening. I sometimes bend and do stuff that I'm not so crazy about but in the end it's worth it. Sure makes for a happy family environment when mama leaves.

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