Author: Dara

My boyfriend always gets defensive and impatient   [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2014-2-12 09:57:40 |Display all floors
The best advice I can give is communicate and work through it little bit by little bit, but never all at once, or it will threaten him. Try to make talking to you his idea and he will open up to you.

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Post time 2014-2-13 09:04:30 |Display all floors
Dara Post time: 2014-2-10 06:45
Thank you for the long reply.
I'll consider your advice

Ok
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Post time 2014-2-13 09:46:13 |Display all floors
dusty1 Post time: 2014-2-12 09:57
The best advice I can give is communicate and work through it little bit by little bit, but never al ...

Agree.  I feel I am old.  in our age falling in love,  one year is too short to adapt each other completely. usually the boyfriend would have enough paitent for their girlfriend at the begining.  as time going,  the weakness would emerge.  However, there is no perfect person in the world, what you need to do is to understand, communitate each other or even try to change youself for another. If you can accept all of your lover,  including the pros and cons, it's time to get married.

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Post time 2014-2-13 12:19:23 |Display all floors
tzjhgjb Post time: 2014-2-13 09:46
Agree.  I feel I am old.  in our age falling in love,  one year is too short to adapt each other c ...

I am not perfect with my wife either, I do my best everyday for her and us

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Post time 2014-2-17 21:19:59 |Display all floors
What does he say, when you ask him why his attitude is like that? You started out blaming HIS attitude. Your attitude seems good, but you should at least consider that there is something you're doing that might contribute to his attitude.

Also, I hate to bring this up, but it really could matter...

Are you two having regular sex, at least once or twice a week? I read something the other week that said that women like to have sex when they're in the right mood; when they feel comfortable and romantic. They can happily go a while without it, until the stars aling. Men have a recurring biological NEED to have sex when their hormone levels get to a certain level. They need it every so often, or else they will get irritable, at best. I hate to admit I'm such a slave to my emotions, but I find that my attitude toward life in general is MUCH better when we're having regular sex.

Lastly, are you in a long-distance relationship, or in person? My lady and I are dating long-distance now, for a year and a half now. Not being able to read the non-verbal communication (also the language issue) often causes misunderstandings for us.

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Post time 2014-2-18 11:03:10 |Display all floors
richitikitavi Post time: 2014-2-10 00:01
when one person in the relationship loses patience the relationship is over!

agreed

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Post time 2014-3-1 00:18:23 |Display all floors
Wow, I'm a little amazed everyone jumps on that early question as being racist.

As soon as I read it, it struck a chord with me. I found I was often being put into a 'defensive' position just because of language differences and because of the way certain questions were worded more as accusations - even though not intentionally so.

Arguments not in your mother tongue really bring out any differences of understanding between two people. They can often revolve around picking up on one or two key words used by the other, and if there is a slight mis-translation, this can drastically escalate the situation.

To me asking about if he was Anglo and she Chinese was in no way racist.. just trying to look at possible underlying casuses.
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