Author: PPsally

Would you marry a woman with a PhD?   [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2014-1-15 07:26:57 |Display all floors
Smaug Post time: 2014-1-15 00:26
Sure! I'd be happy to have such a well-read woman. We could have good, deep conversations. The only  ...

Perhaps you may want to ponder why your marriage with this MD failed. You must admit you marry her and idolized her brain and not her as a wife's character. Someone got to cook. Someone got to share the housework. Someone got to go marketing. Someone got to do the laundry. Well, at least share out. The higher you put her up in the pedestal the more you are removing your own significance.
You must remember you married her as a wife and not engage her in a company organization chart. She ended up treating you like you are part of the company's system giving you orders instead. You become one of her subordinates. Once that happen, your marriage is more or less done.

Use magic tools Report

Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2014-1-15 07:28:21 |Display all floors
I am marrying a woman with a PHD next month
Stan, you're holding a gun to God's head. I can't think of a metaphor that's better than this.

Use magic tools Report

Rank: 7Rank: 7Rank: 7

Glod Medal 2015 Most Popular Member Medal of honor June's Best Writer 2012 2016 Most Popular Member

Post time 2014-1-15 08:28:01 |Display all floors
I'd have no issues marrying a woman with a PhD or for that matter a woman who never completed High School provided she can function well in society and that she is intelligent, interesting and can hold a decent conversation.  

Per Ardua Ad Astra

Use magic tools Report

Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2014-1-15 08:40:59 |Display all floors
foreignchinese Post time: 2014-1-15 07:26
Perhaps you may want to ponder why your marriage with this MD failed. You must admit you marry her ...

The husband should also share the cooking, cleaning and child-raising.  If it's rigidly ordained as a wifely duty, she may as well be a servant/housemaid.

Use magic tools Report

Rank: 4

Post time 2014-1-15 12:50:57 |Display all floors
foreignchinese Post time: 2014-1-15 07:26
Perhaps you may want to ponder why your marriage with this MD failed. You must admit you marry her ...

You assume that cooking, cleaning, shopping are all "wife duties."

This is not how we view it in the US. We view marriage as a partnership. Each spouse does different things for the success of the partnership. Those things are not firmly husband or wife duties.

When she came to America, she had to study and study for years. Passed all her tests finally, then had to work for free for a while to find a residency. All this time, I was working full-time, and doing half of the housework. I did not worship her. I pitied her a little, because she had to start her career over again here. Just tried to be supportive.

But she is an only child. Her parents did all the housework so she could study more. As a fully-functioning adult, she was a big failure. Even when she had time to do this stuff, she didn't do it; she left it for me.

These traditional Chinese marriages only work when both partners have the same expectations. When the woman knows she'll be doing all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, and child-rearing, and the man will be making money. (seems like the many has the easier job to me...)

In some cultures, this still works. Even in America, some women are fine with the idea of being a housewife. But also in America, there are now some house-husbands! The woman is educated and successful, and the man is a knuckle-dragger, who has to cook, clean, and do laundry. ;)

Use magic tools Report

Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2014-1-15 15:09:07 |Display all floors
I empathize with you but do not sympathize you. Anyway, pick yourself up and go search for another suitable mate. Life is more than just one woman and no one in this world is irreplaceable.

Use magic tools Report

Rank: 4

Post time 2014-1-16 09:05:38 |Display all floors
YES, NO PROBLEM

Use magic tools Report

You can't reply post until you log in Log in | register

BACK TO THE TOP
Contact us:Tel: (86)010-84883548, Email: blog@chinadaily.com.cn
Blog announcement:| We reserve the right, and you authorize us, to use content, including words, photos and videos, which you provide to our blog
platform, for non-profit purposes on China Daily media, comprising newspaper, website, iPad and other social media accounts.