Author: PPsally

How Chinese Singles deal with the pressure to marry [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2014-1-9 15:37:29 |Display all floors

Looking after ones elders

PPsally Post time: 2014-1-8 20:20
Looking after ones eldersA further stimulus for Chinese children to get married is the l ...



This pattern is then repeated for future generations as the average earner is unable to save for their own future when they are supporting older generations, and as such it becomes important that their own children become successful and marry  too.



This its true too. Wrongly the parents puts their faith and support more on the boys because they think they have more chances to success than the girls. Some of those parents ( or most) thinks if the girls when got married, they will be part of the husband family and they can´t take care of the elder parents.

The children (boys and girls) rich or poor, single or married have the same value and they have the same mission and obligation to take care their parents and the parents should never put doubts from the willingness and value of their children regardless the gender.

Denial, according the psychoanalysts, is one of the most primary mechanisms of defense. It consists in the attitude of denying or minimizing obvious facts of reality with which the individual can´t  cope or whose irresponsibility is unable to meet.

And I agree.

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Post time 2014-1-9 15:49:10 |Display all floors

Finding a partner, parents weigh in

PPsally Post time: 2014-1-8 20:21
Finding a partner, parents weigh inParents are always ready to give a helping hand, even ...



Parents are always ready to give a helping hand, even when it comes to finding a partner.


The called ¨helping hand¨  from parents could have different interpretations.
This ¨helping hand¨ also involve the children´s relatives and friends.

What I´ve seen and what i know from friends in China differ a lot of the meaning of ¨helping hand¨ , the right word is INTROMISSION in the children´s life.

This readiness to match-make their children can be seen no more clearly than at one of China’s ‘marriage markets.’Parents go there to advertise their children by hanging up fliers, in the hope of finding them the perfect match. These fliers provide details of their most beloved, such as education, economic situation, and housing (as well as other assets, like a car). Some parents will also follow the traditional zodiac in order to find their child’s perfect match.


Ads are simple ads, anyone can write anything but to ad the assets of the family invite to the propective interested person to focus in the material side  and not in the person quality. Totally wrong, totally a shame and it only shows the desperation of the parents to ¨solve¨ the children problem and to avoid people´s gossips.



Denial, according the psychoanalysts, is one of the most primary mechanisms of defense. It consists in the attitude of denying or minimizing obvious facts of reality with which the individual can´t  cope or whose irresponsibility is unable to meet.

And I agree.

Use magic tools Report

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Post time 2014-1-9 15:58:36 |Display all floors

The ‘Leftovers’: are they really that or was it a choice?

PPsally Post time: 2014-1-8 20:22
The ‘Leftovers’: are they really that or was it a choice?Since the 1980s, the one chil ...



The ‘Leftovers’: are they really that or was it a choice?

Unfortunately  they are called like that from an insane society and its not by a choice.

For those who do not find partners, life can become quite miserable; some will feel dejected or feel an embarrassment to their family. This is especially so in the countryside, where attitudes towards marriage are still very traditional.

Children´s life became miserable from a miserable tradition and phenomenon is a reality everywhere and not only in the countryside.
Why to remain single should an embarrassment to the family?


But many of these are not ‘leftovers’ in any sort of way. It wasn’t that they were never chosen, but rather that they chose different priorities for their own life. These women are often highly-educated and successful, choosing to focus on education and careers rather than finding a partner straight away, are ‘modern and progressive’ in the sense that they are independent and feel strongly that they don’t need a man, or have very high standards.


Its this part a joke?

There are millions of single women over their 27 working in the fields, factories, public, local and government jobs, domestic work, etc.

Its true the ones who choose to study to reach the success as a priority can face problems at the time to find a love partner but this cases has not gender.

Celebrities, top CEOs, highly educated people are the exceptions.

¨Leftovers¨ women in China has not social level, they exist in all levels and everywhere.




Denial, according the psychoanalysts, is one of the most primary mechanisms of defense. It consists in the attitude of denying or minimizing obvious facts of reality with which the individual can´t  cope or whose irresponsibility is unable to meet.

And I agree.

Use magic tools Report

Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2014-1-9 16:03:44 |Display all floors

Fake relationships and the LGBT community

PPsally Post time: 2014-1-8 20:23
Fake relationships and the LGBT community

Heading home for the holiday is often a dreaded experienc ...



Heading home for the holiday is often a dreaded experience for singles in China. The entire focus is on this person being single, throughout the direct and extended family. Women even report being terrified of picking up the phone to their family members while they are not at home, as all relatives in the extended family will frequently call up to ask whether or not they have found a boyfriend or even husband.

This is the most cruel, sad and shameful acts to satisfy the Chinese parents and relatives.

Children are pushed to lie to save the parent´s face in front of the relatives and neighborhood.

This  sad events made the creation of one of the most lower and shameful business, the renting of a fake love partners.

When the child arrive to his/her hometown for the holidays with the rented partner all family feels happy until a moment somebody among them start to doubt about the new couple, some people notice it, some others don´t but all keep silence being accomplice of the big lie.

The point is to looks well and ¨happy¨ to satisfy the parents and to be allowed to be part of the holidays in their hometown.
What a shame.



Denial, according the psychoanalysts, is one of the most primary mechanisms of defense. It consists in the attitude of denying or minimizing obvious facts of reality with which the individual can´t  cope or whose irresponsibility is unable to meet.

And I agree.

Use magic tools Report

Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2014-1-9 16:06:40 |Display all floors

The times they are a-changing

PPsally Post time: 2014-1-8 20:23
The times they are a-changingIn first tier Chinese cities like Beijing and Shanghai, tra ...



In first tier Chinese cities like Beijing and Shanghai, traditional ideas surrounding marriage and dating are changing. As well as the so-called ‘leftover women’, many Chinese men are not getting married at such young ages in favor of other aspects of life such as education, careers, and individuality.
Last month, the Chinese government proposed changes to the one child policy; specifically that for couples where one of the two is an only child they will be able to have two children. This, alongside changing attitudes, may help to relieve some of the pressure on marrying young, as having a sibling may deviate some of the pressure and attention on that one child to carry on the family name, and retain the family pride.


Shanghai and Beijing is not the whole China.

What it changed in most of the people in those cities is in the modernism and they are more picky at the time to search a love partner.and sure, the ones with more assets will success.

PPsally, you never reply my questions, i tried before in other threads, I would like to read from you how these problems are changing in a decent way.



Denial, according the psychoanalysts, is one of the most primary mechanisms of defense. It consists in the attitude of denying or minimizing obvious facts of reality with which the individual can´t  cope or whose irresponsibility is unable to meet.

And I agree.

Use magic tools Report

Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2014-1-9 22:03:58 |Display all floors
Strange that the Chinese make a big thing on marriage. I think life is more fun at times been single.

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Post time 2014-1-10 09:20:20 |Display all floors
i don;t want to go home....
elegant star jewelry www.e-starjewelry.com

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