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[Others] How to choose a boyfriend   [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2013-12-6 15:37:11 |Display all floors
symondsez Post time: 2013-12-6 10:34
go with the richest one

Very shallow
Stan, you're holding a gun to God's head. I can't think of a metaphor that's better than this.

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Post time 2013-12-8 00:48:03 |Display all floors
This post was edited by Smaug at 2013-12-8 00:49
Who can tell me how to choose a boyfriend? I always want to find an ideal one but never meet a suitable one.

It seems a lot of Chinese women are waiting for an IDEAL man. 'Ideal' means perfect, or nearly so. There is no such animal. Women in general need to be more realistic, and Chinese women in particular. It seems that only with age do they adjust their expectations down to reality.

Should I date with the boy who wait for me for more than one year? But i don't like him and I don't want to heart him.

It is nice that he has shown is dedication to you by waiting for you. Are you sure you don't want to open your mind a bit, and give him an honest chance? Some women turn down nice men like this, then live to regret it later in life, when they cannot even find anyone nice.

But if you're SURE he's not the one for you, you should tell him so. Tell him: "I'm not interested in you romantically." and yes, I think it would be a great act of friendship to introduce him to a nice lady friend of yours.

Do you know, I had a girlfriend one time like that? I met this lady when we worked together in a camera store. She liked me, I liked her, but she was not single. So she introduced me to her friend. Her friend was OK, but nothing special to me. Still, we started to like each other. Then, the first lady who introduced us decided she liked me better than her boyfriend. So she dumped her boyfriend and took me back from her friend! I know, that's terrible. I should have stayed with her friend, as she was not as exciting, but she was a better woman, and much smarter too. But I was young and naive, and went back to the first lady. Dated her for 2 or 3 years. I wound up breaking up with her because she was dishonest, she cheated on me once, but I forgave her. Then, she would not commit to any kind of education or finding a good job.

The moral of the story? I should have stayed with the less exciting woman who had a better heart, rather than going for something I perceived as more exciting or more ideal at that time.

The best relationships are with someone we can talk with, open up to. The rest can follow easily enough, but if you cannot talk openly with them, it is doomed to fail.

Good luck in your search for the ideal man! ;)

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Post time 2013-12-9 13:34:46 |Display all floors
F111 Post time: 2013-12-6 15:37
Very shallow

but very true

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Post time 2013-12-9 13:36:57 |Display all floors
Smaug Post time: 2013-12-8 00:48
It seems a lot of Chinese women are waiting for an IDEAL man. 'Ideal' means perfect, or nearly so.  ...
  1. The best relationships are with someone we can talk with, open up to. The rest can follow easily enough, but if you cannot talk openly with them, it is doomed to fail.
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well said.........

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Post time 2013-12-12 00:18:53 |Display all floors
This post was edited by messi30 at 2013-12-12 00:20
Who can tell me how to choose a boyfriend? I always want to find an ideal one but never meet a suitable one.

Should I date with the boy who wait for me for more than one year? But i don't like him and I don't want to heart him.


If you are a honest person and do you want a honest suggestions in how to choose a boyfriend?

Let us know:

- How you behave
- What education level you have.
- How selfish, materialistic, indifferent, greedy or lovely, supportive, helpful, etc. person you are.
- What is your shortcomings.
- Etc.

After you let us know how you are, probably you will get good  or better  suggestions or what you deserve.

Relationships works good when both are COMPATIBLE to each other. that´s the ideal.

Its not about to choose due you want to find it.

If you want somebody IDEAL for you, you should be somebody IDEAL for others.

At the end, this it´s a very personal issue, I don´t understand why  people should give you personal suggestions when nobody knows about you.



Denial, according the psychoanalysts, is one of the most primary mechanisms of defense. It consists in the attitude of denying or minimizing obvious facts of reality with which the individual can´t  cope or whose irresponsibility is unable to meet.

And I agree.

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Post time 2013-12-12 00:28:18 |Display all floors

Should I date with the boy who wait for me for more than one year? But i don't like him and I don't want to heart him.


This it´s your first visible shortcoming.

Honesty

You said you don´t want to hurt him but not telling him to stop waiting for you it´s worse.

Things works better talking clear. Don´t bring ideas in your mind if you will hurt people or not. Think in yourself first, act reasonably and always with the truth.

Good luck.

Denial, according the psychoanalysts, is one of the most primary mechanisms of defense. It consists in the attitude of denying or minimizing obvious facts of reality with which the individual can´t  cope or whose irresponsibility is unable to meet.

And I agree.

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Post time 2013-12-12 10:19:32 |Display all floors
Smaug Post time: 2013-12-8 00:48
It seems a lot of Chinese women are waiting for an IDEAL man. 'Ideal' means perfect, or nearly so.  ...

Thank you so much for your helpful answer. I have told him before not to wait for me and he knew what I'm talking about. I think stay with the one who has better heart will be good for you because you won't get hurt and have a normal daily life. But it will be tasteless.

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