Author: PPsally

Would you still keep a relationship even if your partner were disabled? [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2013-10-30 14:20:05 |Display all floors

Larissa says she and Ian were dating 'very intentionally' by 2006 and--despite Ian's subsequent debilitating injuries that keep him from communicating even remotely normally--they were married




Finally: Once Ian could communicate, the couple had to ask a judge if they could marry. He said the marriage could proceed


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Post time 2013-10-30 14:20:31 |Display all floors

'You two exemplify what love is all about. I believe that marriage will not only benefit you both but our community and hope that everyone in this city could see your love for one another,' said the judge who determined if they could marry




'And even though we chose marriage, we chose it sadly': Larissa and Ian live in western Pennsylvania. Larissa looks to God for inspiration as she continue to struggle with the loss of the man she once knew



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Post time 2013-10-30 14:20:58 |Display all floors

[size=1.2em]As Ian’s condition slowly improved, the possibility of marriage became stronger.

[size=1.2em]‘If he could communicate with me,’ she said. ‘Then we could have a marriage knowing it would be really different but as long as Ian could talk to me we could make it work.’

[size=1.2em]While Ian became incrementally healthier, his father became sick. He was diagnosed with brain cancer during his son’s recovery.

[size=1.2em]Ian’s father’s sickness became a catalyst for Larissa, who knew how much he wanted them to marry.

[size=1.2em]When Ian was well enough, Larissa took him to a judge in order to get their marriage approved since he remains unable to make that sort of decision on his own.

[size=1.2em]According to Larissa, the judge told her: ‘You two exemplify what love is all about. I believe that marriage will not only benefit you both but our community and hope that everyone in this city could see your love for one another.’


Bittersweet: 'We¿ve watched all of our friends get married and have health. I¿ve watched as my girlfriends and sisters found husbands who could dance with them at their weddings and drive them to church on Sunday morning,' says Larissa


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Post time 2013-10-30 14:21:28 |Display all floors

Bittersweet: 'Sorrow has been a permanent resident in our 20s. It feels like the rest of the world uses these years for really fun things. But in our 20s, we have watched our future crash with him in that white station wagon'




'It was so very simple: we love each other': While Larissa never expected to have to provide so much for her husband's need, she says the choice to marry was an easy one




Touching: Larissa keeps a board in their home on which she and Ian and their visitors post what their thankful for. Larissa says half of Ian's say 'my wifey'



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Post time 2013-10-30 14:21:56 |Display all floors

[size=1.2em]They would soon be married, though the new would come too late to share with Ian’s father, who died before their engagement.

[size=1.2em]Their video documents their touching, family and friend-filled wedding. Instead of standing, Larissa sits at the altar to be alongside the still seriously disabled Ian.

[size=1.2em]She must even help him stand as they complete their vows, just as she must now help him with everyday tasks.


Dedicated: Larissa spends her days working in marketing at a western Pennsylvania bank to help support Ian, who is unable to work




Faithful: 'This church, and this marriage, are hemmed in by Jesus and eagerly long for heaven. He is their author and sustainer,' says Larissa


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Post time 2013-10-30 14:22:33 |Display all floors

'But in light of all the practicals, and emotionals,' says Larissa, 'it was so very simple: we love each other. And we love God. And we believe He is a sovereign and loving God who rules all things.'




Difficult: 'Marrying Ian meant that I was signing on to things that I don¿t think I ever would¿ve chosen for myself,' says Larissa, who supports Ian and manages his care. 'The practical costs felt huge'


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Post time 2013-10-30 14:23:09 |Display all floors

[size=1.2em]'Though we chose marriage,' says Larissa, 'we chose it sadly. Sorrow has been a permanent resident in our 20s. It feels like the rest of the world uses these years for really fun things. But in our 20s, we have watched our future crash with him in that white station wagon and we now live with two versions of Ian.

[size=1.2em]'Weʼve watched all of our friends get married and have health. Iʼve watched as my girlfriends and sisters found husbands who could dance with them at their weddings and drive them to church on Sunday morning.

[size=1.2em]'Weʼve watched our dad fight and be taken by brain cancer, only to see life keep marching on.'

[size=1.2em]Despite it all, Larissa says it is worth it to be married to the love of her life.

[size=1.2em]‘But in light of all the practicals, and emotionals,’ she writes on desiringgod.org, ‘it was so very simple: we love each other.’


Larissa admits she's been close to losing her happiness as she struggles with 'our lot'--a struggle she says is a common one--but she manages to keep the faith thanks to her religion




Still smiling: Alongside Ian, Larissa is still able top enjoy herself at celebrations like weddings and births despite her own personal losses




Here, Larissa gleefully holds a baby despite her longing to have one of her own, which may never happen because of her choice to stay with Ian




Inseparable: Despite his need for 24-hour care and inability to communicate as he once could, Ian still manages to have fun with Larissa




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