Author: purewoman

China’s leftover women, what do you think?   [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2013-8-20 17:10:24 |Display all floors
amylhz Post time: 2013-8-20 16:32
I have two female friends who are over 30 but still single. Both of them feel great pressure from th ...

She has gone on a few blind dates, for their parents' sake. It seems to her like torture every time. But she believes some guy is waiting for her at the right time and right place.

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Post time 2013-8-20 17:12:24 |Display all floors
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Post time 2013-8-20 17:19:07 |Display all floors
1584austin Post time: 2013-8-20 17:12

Sometimes love is blind.

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Post time 2013-8-20 17:28:23 |Display all floors
purewoman Post time: 2013-8-20 17:05
Thanks for your comment. And it is a bit different in China. Apart from parental pressure, they ha ...

I know only too well how Chinese society points the proverbial finger at unmarried women over the age of about 28 to 30.  As women become more educated and career oriented this position may change in time, but it may take generations to fully stop people from pointing the finger.

The inner city bars in Australian cities are often filled with hard nosed career women looking for a husband/father for the child they want to have as their biological clocks tick towards the end.
Per Ardua Ad Astra

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Post time 2013-8-20 21:18:16 |Display all floors
I am a leftover woman
don't want to ge married for parents or the pressure of society, just waiting for the right person.

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Post time 2013-8-20 21:57:17 |Display all floors
Jessie.Zhang Post time: 2013-8-20 08:18
I am a leftover woman
don't want to ge married for parents or the pressure of society, just wa ...

Don't lower your standards, Jessie! There are plenty of good men out there who are not obsessed with younger women.

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Post time 2013-8-20 22:09:03 |Display all floors
The "leftover woman" phenomenon, while not called such, was well known in the USA in the 1970s. In fact, there were several TV comedies (sitcoms - situation comedies) that had that topic as one of the major foci of the show: "The Mary Tyler Moore Show", "Laverne and Shirley", "Rhoda" (mostly with her sister, since Rhoda married in the first season), and others.

However, in the US it seems to have become more accepted and understood. I do not know how much of this is due to our skyrocketing divorce rates (50%), the number of unwed mothers (also rising steadily), or just changes in society in general.

As a college professor, I have had the opportunity to meet several incredibly lovely, intelligent, and charming Chinese women who are all "leftover women". The majority of the ones I've met (keep in mind - skewed sample because I'm working in universities) were highly educated, which seems to frighten men in general. It's not just a Chinese thing - western men seem to be afraid of highly educated women, too, especially if the woman is more highly educated than the man.

Also, it seems that Chinese culture and western cultures in general both place a premium on youth, especially in women. While this has obvious biological ramifications (older women are less likely to be fertile and are more likely to bear children with certain birth defects), it is still unfortunate. The situation of a man leaving his wife for a younger woman is so common that it is a cliche in both cultures.

I understand the pressure for grandchildren, though. My mother put quite a bit of pressure on me and my wife to have children when we were first married. We finally sent her a "Grandma's brag book" (a photo album that is supposed to have pictures of grandchildren) filled with pictures of our cats. She stopped bothering us about having children. We have four children now, more than all of my other siblings combined. She got her wish, but she needed to wait until we were ready to have children.

Similarly, I think the parents that are pressuring their daughters to marry should be patient and be thankful that their daughters are being careful to find a good man.

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