Views: 49526|Replies: 152

China’s leftover women, what do you think?   [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 2

Post time 2013-8-20 12:48:53 |Display all floors
One of my friends called me last night. She complained to me her parents always set her up on blind dates and want nothing more than to marry her off even not caring who is the groom.  She is 32, single, well-educated and works for a government agency with good salary. She said she doesn’t want to rush into marriage with the wrong person. And she doesn’t want to lower her standards. Being single, she is happy with her life. Hang out with her best friends, do whatever she likes. But the pressure from her parents drives her crazy. She is afraid of going home, for having to put up with her nagging parents. She is depressed but I couldn’t help her out. In fact, there are a growing number of so-called leftover women in China who are highly successful but remain unmarried. They are dreadful for the overwhelming pressure from parents and society.  Hi, guys, is the phenomenon of leftover women unique to China? What about your country?   Do you have your own phenomenon of shengnu, or “leftover women”?
1.jpg

Use magic tools Report

Rank: 8Rank: 8

August's Best Contributor 2012 July's Best Contributor 2012

Post time 2013-8-20 13:39:01 |Display all floors
Tell her to grow up..
Too old for playing.
If I were her father, I would have a serious talk with her.
Life is what you make of it

Use magic tools Report

Rank: 8Rank: 8

Blogger of 2013

Post time 2013-8-20 14:54:50 |Display all floors
WESTERN ADVICE WOULD BE, 'MATURE FIRST BEFORE GETTING MARRIED'

In the U.S., it is virtually unheard of. Not that women that are 30+ are all married. Far from it. In the U.S. we consider more important to mature in your own life before getting married. Most people are worried that their children will marry too young; certainly not too old. I got married when I was 23. She was 19. Everyone tried to discourage it. But, being in America, they left the choice up to us.

It has amazed me here in China that the thought of most parents is, their child is old enough to get married but not old enough to choose whom they will marry. The parent wants to choose the mate for their child. Actually that kind of thinking is rather humorous to those in the western world. No logic behind it as far as we are concerned. Living in the marriage 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year takes a lot more maturity than simply choosing a mate.

So, the western view is, wait to get married. Mature first. Choose wisely before you make a commitment. Choose someone that you love. If the husband and wife are supported by genuine love within the marriage, then, the chances are far greater that they will have a successful marriage and life.

Use magic tools Report

Rank: 2

Post time 2013-8-20 15:22:22 |Display all floors
MichaelM Post time: 2013-8-20 14:54
WESTERN ADVICE WOULD BE, 'MATURE FIRST BEFORE GETTING MARRIED'

In the U.S., it is virtually unheard ...

I really appreciate for your advice. Will forward it to my friend. She said she would get married until she meets the right guy. She doesn't want to make compromises because of age or parental pressure, but it seems so overwhelming that she's afraid she couldn't stand it some day and make the mistake she would regret for the rest of her life.

Use magic tools Report

Rank: 1

Post time 2013-8-20 15:32:00 From mobile |Display all floors
could not agree more,psychological maturity is more important than physics age

Use magic tools Report

Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2013-8-20 15:58:48 |Display all floors
Yes this situation occurs in western society but does not have the same stigma attached as it did back in the 1970's when I was in school and entering the workforce.  Attitudes have evolved since then as more and more women moved from the traditional role as housewives and mothers and started to take careers previously dominated by men.  The terms used (often incorrectly) to describe some of these women included spinster and old maid.

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
A spinster, or old maid, is an older, childless woman who has never been married. A "spinster" is not simply a "single" woman, but a woman who has not formed a human pair bond by the time she is approaching or has reached menopause and the end of her reproductive lifespan.[1]

Parents naturally want their children to get married and have children so that they can enjoy the grandchildren without having to raise them, as they have already had their turn.

So while the term "left over women" is not used to label unmarried women the western societies have equally unflattering terms.  I think it has become more common and acceptable in the west for men and women to delay marriage and or building families until they reach their late twenties or early thirties.  
Attitude : Life is 10 percent what happens to you,  and 90 percent how you react to it.

Use magic tools Report

Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2013-8-20 16:01:04 |Display all floors
There are no such thing as leftover women. Each woman has her own inner beauty and goodness. It's just that, that dude on the white horse took a wrong turn and failed to arrive. Never feel depressed just been unmarried. There is more to life than been getting hooked into marriage.

Use magic tools Report

You can't reply post until you log in Log in | register

BACK TO THE TOP
Contact us:Tel: (86)010-84883548, Email: blog@chinadaily.com.cn
Blog announcement:| We reserve the right, and you authorize us, to use content, including words, photos and videos, which you provide to our blog
platform, for non-profit purposes on China Daily media, comprising newspaper, website, iPad and other social media accounts.