Author: messi30

Unexpected guests? Unwanted visitors? What to do with them?   [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2013-7-29 19:49:00 |Display all floors
Unexpected Guests
1) Do you want to entertain them  Yes Welcome them in
NO
2) Decision tree
     Did they come from far                    == Yes ==>   3
     No - are they close friends or relatives == Yes ==>   3
     No - are they respectfull and polite      == Yes ===> 3
     No - Sorry (optional) It is not convienent for us to accept you at this time
     Be forceful if necessary   
     or  just do not answer the door
3)  Can they be invited in and left unattended  
     yes
             - be frank you would love to entertain them later set a time
             - they can wait while you are out finish your dinner take a nap etc
             - or they can come back in a few hours or tomorrow  etc
    no
4) Will it cause you any hardship (like postponing a romantic or quality dinner or evening
    Yes  -  tell them politely but firmly you have plans for the evening that do not include them
    No    - Bite the bullet
               Invite them in  
                but relate to them a story of why you like them to call ahead first
                and why you might turn them away or not answer the door

Weigh the consequences  of holding your ground and of not holding your ground
Sometimes there is no alternative
Some people will respect you more for turning them away then being preoccupied with when are they going to leave during their entire visit.

A saying I remember from childhood

ALL FRIENDS BRING HAPPINESS
Some by coming
Some by leaving

If you accept them in you could set a time limit for their departure it may seem a little rude but you do have the right.
Attitude : Life is 10 percent what happens to you,  and 90 percent how you react to it.

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Post time 2013-7-30 17:31:29 |Display all floors
RonJaDa Post time: 2013-7-29 19:49
Unexpected Guests
1) Do you want to entertain them  Yes Welcome them in
NO

Excellent post. Thank you.

Better to hold the anger and to be frank with them . A white lie could be also considerated to make them leave after attending them politely for short time.
Denial, according the psychoanalysts, is one of the most primary mechanisms of defense. It consists in the attitude of denying or minimizing obvious facts of reality with which the individual can´t  cope or whose irresponsibility is unable to meet.

And I agree.

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Post time 2013-8-2 15:53:26 |Display all floors
It's culture difference.
It's very common in the countryside where villiagers are as close as families.
It's very wired to make a phone call before visiting someone's home.
Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid.

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Post time 2013-8-2 15:55:26 |Display all floors
In cities, people respect others's privacy more.
Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid.

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Glod Medal

Post time 2013-8-3 09:25:22 |Display all floors
send them to a hotel
Never Let Anyone Outside The Family Know What You're Thinking.

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Post time 2013-8-4 15:43:18 |Display all floors
Rearwindow Post time: 2013-8-2 15:55
In cities, people respect others's privacy more.

But many cities are flooded by immigrants,
Denial, according the psychoanalysts, is one of the most primary mechanisms of defense. It consists in the attitude of denying or minimizing obvious facts of reality with which the individual can´t  cope or whose irresponsibility is unable to meet.

And I agree.

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Post time 2013-8-4 15:44:31 |Display all floors
just don't answer the door, works for me {:soso_e129:}

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