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Unexpected guests? Unwanted visitors? What to do with them?   [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2013-7-27 18:02:54 |Display all floors


You are at home doing domestic work with wife or children. Sometimes you come home after work very tired and just want peaceful time. Probably you stay home on weekend very relaxed but..............somebody ring your doorbell or knock the door. Who is it?

Yes, there they are......with an a silly excuse ¨I was around here and i decided to visit you¨ or others just decided to come directly without any call or message.

It bothers me a lot this kind of situations, most of times I can not hide my annoyance. If is a close friend or relative I don´t hesitate to ask them ¨why you didn´t call?¨.

In most countries in Latinamerica its common to happen but recently years this actions changed a bit.
In the West or in US this actions is not a sign of respect, people ask for visiting.
In China by my experience there is not a rule, people suddenly stop to your home to visit without let you know.

How do you handle this situation?
It bothers you?
Any tip to repel this actions?
Denial, according the psychoanalysts, is one of the most primary mechanisms of defense. It consists in the attitude of denying or minimizing obvious facts of reality with which the individual can´t  cope or whose irresponsibility is unable to meet.

And I agree.

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Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2013-7-27 21:18:03 |Display all floors
DO NOT DISTURB SIGN
GONE SHOPPING, BE BACK IN A COUPLE HOURS SIGN
NO SOLICITING SIGN
GO AWAY, I'M BUSY SIGN

Maybe you can charge admission, that way it doesn't bother you that much...
THE FINE FOR TRESPASSING IS $100.00, POLICE TAKE NOTICE...

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Post time 2013-7-28 07:36:20 |Display all floors
This post was edited by WhiteBear at 2013-7-28 07:39

I like the guests and visitors, but when I have something very important to do - I do it no matter they are at my place or not.

For example happened that one day the electriic wiring in my house "had a problem" - there was a shortcut somewhere.
My friends arrives the same time.
So I asked Them: who of You are electrician? None. Ok - so You will stay by the fuses box, You will hold the ladder... etc. :) There was a lot of  fun, even if the work was not "quick and easy", but one of the "ladies" was deeply hurt that I haven't take care of Them. So be it. It was the "friends filtering event".
But when unexpected guests arrives, and They are my friends, and additionally I have free time - no problem at all.

For unwanted and unexpected visitors - "tea/water?".
Foir the announced friends - "mi casa es su casa"
- thats the difference

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Post time 2013-7-28 12:39:46 |Display all floors
SDIvester Post time: 2013-7-27 21:18
DO NOT DISTURB SIGN
GONE SHOPPING, BE BACK IN A COUPLE HOURS SIGN
NO SOLICITING SIGN

Could be a good idea but I don´t think my wife could help me to do that sign in Chinese.
Denial, according the psychoanalysts, is one of the most primary mechanisms of defense. It consists in the attitude of denying or minimizing obvious facts of reality with which the individual can´t  cope or whose irresponsibility is unable to meet.

And I agree.

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Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2013-7-28 12:59:52 |Display all floors
WhiteBear Post time: 2013-7-28 07:36
I like the guests and visitors, but when I have something very important to do - I do it no matter t ...
I like the guests and visitors, but when I have something very important to do - I do it no matter they are at my place or not.

Yes, me too. Politely i tell them I am busy and continue doing my own things, they will decide to stay or to leave.

But when unexpected guests arrives, and They are my friends, and additionally I have free time - no problem at all.

But what about when you are tired, low mood, bored or you just want to relax by yourself or you are with your wife/gf ready to watch a tv program or movie and they appear?

For unwanted and unexpected visitors - "tea/water?".
Foir the announced friends - "mi casa es su casa"
- thats the difference
There is an old custom in Latin countries. people say that when you get unexpected visitors and want them to leave quickly, the host put a broom beside or behind the main door and they will leave.

I never tried, some people says it works. But i don´t know if it works because the visitors knows the meaning of the broom at the door or the ¨magic¨ of the broom did its job.



Denial, according the psychoanalysts, is one of the most primary mechanisms of defense. It consists in the attitude of denying or minimizing obvious facts of reality with which the individual can´t  cope or whose irresponsibility is unable to meet.

And I agree.

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Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2013-7-28 19:39:40 |Display all floors
messi30 Post time: 2013-7-28 12:39
Could be a good idea but I don´t think my wife could help me to do that sign in Chinese.

I thought about the $$$ sign when telemarketing was going crazy here. I wanted to charge money for accessing me on my phone...

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Post time 2013-7-29 15:37:51 |Display all floors
I will welcome them, offer them some tea or cold drinks and i will tell them politely that i'm very busy right now and if they can wait till i'm done ....then that would be great!  Problem solved!!!

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