Views: 7608|Replies: 14

laowei and Chinese woman relationships...who pays?   [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 2

Post time 2013-7-10 13:30:31 |Display all floors
I like Chinese women and am friends with a fair amount of them.

However though what is up with this? Many women here still seem to want men to pay for 100% of everything. To me that doesn't seem right. This isn't the 1950s, nor is it a village in western China or something. This is 2013 in Beijing. Furthermore many laoweis make a lot less money here than they could elsewhere. They often come here just for the experience or that is often one of the reasons.

I understand that this is somewhat of a cultural thing. But again, look at the last paragraph.
In many other countries people go Dutch, or maybe the guy pays sometimes but not all the time, or sometimes you take rough turns paying as in I'll pay for the date this time and maybe you can get it next time or something.

Also, if you have a relationship in which there are people from 2 different cultures, don't you think people should try to be more flexible or meet each other halfway?

I have just noticed some Chinese women here have very rigid rules and have a double standard also. There are some that only want to date laowei men, yet at the same time want them to adhere 100% to traditional Chinese dating rules, including having the man pay for 100% of everything.
So what do you guys think about this?


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Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2013-7-10 15:33:36 |Display all floors
I have just noticed some Chinese women here have very rigid rules and have a double standard also. There are some that only want to date laowei men, yet at the same time want them to adhere 100% to traditional Chinese dating rules, including having the man pay for 100% of everything.
So what do you guys think about this?
What is funny some of those kind of women label themselves as traditional women but they don´t have eyes for Chinese men.
Denial, according the psychoanalysts, is one of the most primary mechanisms of defense. It consists in the attitude of denying or minimizing obvious facts of reality with which the individual can´t  cope or whose irresponsibility is unable to meet.

And I agree.

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Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2013-7-10 16:14:39 |Display all floors
messi30 Post time: 2013-7-10 15:33
What is funny some of those kind of women label themselves as traditional women but they don´t have ...

1. You are choosing the wrong female friends
2. If you choose to live in a different culture, get used to it.

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Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2013-7-10 17:06:13 |Display all floors
Laowai2? Post time: 2013-7-10 16:14
1. You are choosing the wrong female friends
2. If you choose to live in a different culture, get  ...

Is not my case but I have met those kind of women and happily they are very far from my life. Luckily my Chinese wife is a real woman in all senses.
Denial, according the psychoanalysts, is one of the most primary mechanisms of defense. It consists in the attitude of denying or minimizing obvious facts of reality with which the individual can´t  cope or whose irresponsibility is unable to meet.

And I agree.

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Rank: 4

Post time 2013-7-10 19:49:42 |Display all floors
You will find that many Chinese woman have this way of thinking.
In modern time some throw the culture card at you, I almost think for women, that there is no need for them to go through education and university to improve their prospects of finding a good job, if the final result is they want the man to provide everything for them.
Don't worry wait for the right one who has the same thinking as you, they are out there, believe me :-)

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Rank: 2

Post time 2013-7-12 13:44:08 |Display all floors
truthbetold1 Post time: 2013-7-10 19:49
You will find that many Chinese woman have this way of thinking.
In modern time some throw the cultu ...

Yeah, I've found several women who have this way of thinking.
Would a Chinese girlfriend break up with you for going Dutch with her?
How was the paying culture here originated?

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Rank: 4

Post time 2013-7-12 15:30:34 |Display all floors
Steve_lin Post time: 2013-7-12 13:44
Yeah, I've found several women who have this way of thinking.
Would a Chinese girlfriend break up ...

Yes! For sure many Chinese woman will break up with you. For most its a sign that you don't love them at that you a not generous.  

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