Author: KnowledgeWisdom

[Cross-culture marriage] [Original]What is your favourite Chinese Love Poetry or Vow? [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2013-7-9 11:26:28 |Display all floors
Smaug Post time: 2013-7-9 05:27
I like that first one. I may use it as my wedding vow to my mate.

Do you happen to know who the ori ...

I thought the translation was great.
How would you polish the translation of the second one?

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Post time 2013-7-9 11:27:17 |Display all floors
Did you translate the first poem ?

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Post time 2013-7-9 11:44:04 |Display all floors
Dara Post time: 2013-7-9 05:27
Did you translate the first poem ?

Hi Dara

No, the first poem was translated to me by the person who shared it with me. But it is one of the most beautiful things I think you can give and say to your partner.

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Post time 2013-7-9 13:00:02 |Display all floors
KnowledgeWisdom Post time: 2013-7-9 11:44
Hi Dara

No, the first poem was translated to me by the person who shared it with me. But it is on ...

definately.
I wish someday someone will say this to me

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Post time 2013-7-9 13:26:17 |Display all floors
KnowledgeWisdom Post time: 2013-7-8 18:30
This is the original as it is on my friends profile

I see.
Good job man,.
I like your translation actually
Life is what you make of it

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Post time 2013-7-9 20:08:00 |Display all floors
This post was edited by Smaug at 2013-7-9 20:10
Dara Post time: 2013-7-9 11:26
I thought the translation was great.
How would you polish the translation of the second one? {:1_ ...


I would edit the last line as shown below, and by deleting 'of pain!':

How many loved your moments of glad grace,

And admire your beauty with love false or true,

Just one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,

Loves your aging wrinkled face. of pain!

'of pain' is unnecessary to the content. Just an attempt to add drama. If we remove it, the first and last lines rhyme, and the 2nd and 3rd lines rhyme.  Much better, no?

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Post time 2013-7-10 10:36:08 |Display all floors
Smaug Post time: 2013-7-9 20:08
I would edit the last line as shown below, and by deleting 'of pain!':

Yeah, sounds better

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