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[Original]Are Chinese good observers, too observers or too critical? [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2013-6-16 17:10:03 |Display all floors
Two years ago after a long trip by Latin America and US for work matters and visiting my relatives I gained weight from many dinner invitations and forgetting to visit the gym, I ate a lot every where. When I came back home in China my wife introduced me some new neighbors. One day while my wife and me were walking our dog, she introduced me an old man, we shaked hands and when I turned ahead them to keep walking my dog he said to my wife ¨he looks strong and he has a little belly but not much¨, I heard my wife answered him, ¨after a travel he always gain weight¨. Last week my wife told me ¨Mr. Liu saw you the other day walking the dog and he said you have good shape now¨, honestly I was expecting he said how I am or how is work or something else.

This kind of ¨observations¨ brought to my mind other similar situations. After getting out of a shop with two of my employees, just getting out one of them said to the other one ¨She has some wrinkles, did you notice it?¨ the other one replied her ¨yes, she looked younger¨. Watching some internet Latin news with my wife,  an older woman narrating the news, she said ¨she is fat and her eyes are ugly¨ (referring to the anchor) I told her why  sometimes criticize the people´s looks and not what they are, she said ¨I´m as good observer¨. But things went a bit far with neighbors who at nights are dancing in groups of couples or only females dancing different music outside our home, the gossips for people´s hair, people´s clothing and people´s look in general are a bit akward for me.

The extreme for me was another comments from some Chinese friends, my daughter studied in US and has a bachelor degree in International Business , she is currently working in an American company and she sent me her resume with her picture  to try to find a possible position in a company in China or in Hong Kong, when I showed it  to my friends who are in business, they said ¨she is beautiful, she should try to make tv commercials or modeling¨, I told them ¨how come? come on guys, she studied a career, not for commercials¨. I have many experiences like this.

In my culture also exists this kind of comments or critics but sometimes not after the first sight, maybe it happen when the topic comes in a conversation and many others just avoid to drop irrelevant comments.

Is ok after the first contact eye to talk about other´s looks?

Are they good observers, too observers or too critical?




Denial, according the psychoanalysts, is one of the most primary mechanisms of defense. It consists in the attitude of denying or minimizing obvious facts of reality with which the individual can´t  cope or whose irresponsibility is unable to meet.

And I agree.

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Post time 2013-6-16 18:47:33 |Display all floors
And they didn't ask you how much money you made?

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Post time 2013-6-17 10:40:37 |Display all floors
You're too serious about this.
If some one in China asks how much you make a month, remember it's just that she or he cares if the life is treating you good. They mean good.

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Post time 2013-6-17 10:41:59 |Display all floors
You are the one who are too critical. It's not a big deal , jut find some topics, no one will be harmed.

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Post time 2013-6-17 10:42:18 |Display all floors
You should be happy that they praise your daughter about her good-looking.
They are actually praising you. Every father here are happy to hear nice words about his son or daughter.

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Post time 2013-6-17 12:56:02 |Display all floors
told them ¨how come? come on guys, she studied a career, not for commercials¨


I just want to tell you how this is extremely offensive to artists all over the world.

I have a MBA yet I chose to be an artist and I lead a full and happy life. Being an artist IS a career in and of itself and you should not look down on people trying to bring a little bit of happiness to the world.
Spreading magic around the world since 2007.

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Post time 2013-6-17 13:44:26 |Display all floors
PPsally Post time: 2013-6-17 10:40
You're too serious about this.
If some one in China asks how much you make a month, remember it's j ...

Not always.  Many times they are being nosy, and it is none of their business.

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