Author: JustAQuestion

Question about chinese women respect for the elder..   [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2012-10-28 19:03:39 |Display all floors
seneca Post time: 2012-10-28 15:26
JustAQuestion,
you and I have similar educational backgrounds (apparently), so many of the facets  ...

Seneca..

Do we? :)
Maybe you're right.. i don't think I am asking for confirmation about a pre-conceived answer. but it sure as hell helps to just talk about it, vaguely as it is, to an rather anonymous group.. I _do_ want to receive an answer to the question to just how deep the respect for the elder goes.

I hinted at her status as a foreign national: why don't you let us know how she came to that country, and what legal status does she have?
Not telling us these facts deprives us of a fuller view.


She got here by invitation of a foundation to spend a year here and work freely in her profession. I met her about 2 weeks after she arrived. And we've been together since. before that year was over, we applied a work visa for her which was granted for her in her profession for 3 years.

These elements add a new light on her, and one wonders what a woman might have to sell to an elderly man that the elderly man cannot purchase in a store. Again, the question here is: does she do the selling for a living? Why does she have to sell her "products" to a man in an old-age retirement home rather than, say, a store? How did the two strike up their relationship? Where do you fit in?


See, I want to protect her identity - her reputation. So lets say that she's.. producing unique handcrafted items. those items are also available here and could be in other specialized shops - we have yet to make good contact. It is a totally honorable profression - and she can make a good living by it. where the old guy is having her work now (to make another unique handcrafted item, incorporating local goods), is by far no retirement-home.
relationship.. for her - work.. for him - from all we know, "love".. (though he doesn't care whether she wants his attention)

Well, well... GIrlfriends are always "the most honest" people in the minds of their admirers. How long have you known her?


I grant you that.. but she really is the most honest person. And she does tell me everything. really no doubt about that.

She would be better off to be in China - economically, socially (family) and of course food-wise. But she's chosen to stay here, with me. She(!) bought a house here, which I'm repairing and make things nice for when she gets back from that job.. I pay the upkeep.. She wants to build her career here, similar to her career in China. And that's where the old ass comes into play - with his contacts.

I am convinced her submissiveness has absolutely nothing to do with "respect for older generations".


ok. Thank you for your opinion, based on given information.

--
JAQ

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Post time 2012-10-28 19:46:44 |Display all floors
This post was edited by tracyliu1987108 at 2012-10-28 20:03

NOOO! That is not the "respect" for the old! Respect is MUTUAL! That girl is either timid or foolish. And NOOOOO, that is NOT a Chinese style of showing respect,for god's sake!!!!!  I'm a Chinese, if I were her, I would warn the old man once like "i'll kick your ass or ruin your reputation!".... I'm angry for her,really, but seems like she's not so angry,isn't she? Her reaction doesn't sound angry.. And you,can you tolerate her to be like that,continuing to work for that horny old man? Tell him to go to hell!
I want to exit from CD

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Post time 2012-10-28 19:56:02 |Display all floors
This post was edited by tracyliu1987108 at 2012-10-28 20:12
JustAQuestion Post time: 2012-10-27 16:20
My thoughts as well.. He doesn't even deserve a smile from her.. and yet he's taking whatever he c ...


No it's not. Our tradition is "respect the young,and take care of the old". This virtue is for everybody, your gf, is the "younger", she's respecting the horny old man, but apparently the older fellow has not been "taking care" of your gf. Honestly, I call her behaviour "timid/weak",kind of her personal character,dear
All about job(=money). You can never have enough money, so will she be tolerating all her life time? You know, that old fellow isn't the only horny man...    She need to choose, be pure/honest to you,or keep on tolearting and make some money...
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Post time 2012-10-28 20:02:07 |Display all floors
seneca Post time: 2012-10-28 19:34
Thanks for those clarifications, JustAskQuestions. While they helped gain a reasonable perspective t ...
Did she tell you how she acquired the means to buy a house in your cuntry?


Yes.. all aquired while I was with her.. all legal.. all honest work.. with invoices and all.. but I admit, it was a bargain house.. ;) way less than 100k

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Post time 2012-10-28 20:14:19 |Display all floors
tracyliu1987108 Post time: 2012-10-28 19:46
NOOO! That is not the "respect" for the old! Respect is MUTUAL! That girl is either timid or foolish ...

Hi..

Thank you for your replies.. very welcome input.

I can't say that she's angry.. she hates him for what he's doing.. and she does want to "hurt" him.
I know her angry.. and that old guy wouldn't stand a minute against it. she is definately suffering, though.

I can tolerate her love for her work.. I can tolerate that she's there, working.. I have a hard time coping with the old guys demands..

I love that woman. And I am more worried about her than about my scarred heart.

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Post time 2012-10-28 20:18:05 |Display all floors
This post was edited by tracyliu1987108 at 2012-10-28 20:19
JustAQuestion Post time: 2012-10-28 20:14
Hi..

Thank you for your replies.. very welcome input.


It's life,isn't it? Compromising for hope... if you decide it's all worth it. I wouldn't be able to tolerate if it were me. Anyway,best wishes~
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Post time 2012-10-28 20:21:26 |Display all floors
tracyliu1987108 Post time: 2012-10-28 20:18
It's life,isn't it? Compromising for hope... if you decide it's all worth it. I wouldn't be able t ...

I asked her.. how would she feel if the situation was the other way around.. guess what, she couldn't tolerate it either "I would die".

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