Author: momowowo

culture diff - chinese girls do not pay anything in a relationship?   [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 1

Post time 2012-5-17 14:30:30 |Display all floors
I believe it's a hertiage remain of Chinese traditional culture, in which women belong to men. In modern society, it's still understandable for a Chinese girl to still posses this kind of thoughts.

Surely you guys can work out of this, since we have received modern education for so many years. Financial independence is both important for men and women, I believe your girl friend is totally agree with it.

My advice, take it easy, don't argue with her, say sweet words to her, suprise her with small gifts from time to time.

Use magic tools Report

Rank: 4

Post time 2012-5-17 14:48:38 |Display all floors
momowowo Post time: 2012-5-16 19:37
Thanks for the advice Kongzhou.

I live in Australia together with my girlfriend.

you    have choice ,stay with her and pay for her , the payment includes daily expense , or in the future , like buy a house .
or leave her , coz ,you must regret when you two are stuck by this problem  ,it hurts , but you have to .
you two will quarrel for those things due to more and more culture differences that you will find out later .

bear it or leave!man courage !
Il heurt de jouer avec le ciel .

follow your heart, touch your dream ,be yourself .dude !

Use magic tools Report

Rank: 1

Post time 2012-5-17 14:54:00 |Display all floors
emmalin Post time: 2012-5-17 14:30
I believe it's a hertiage remain of Chinese traditional culture, in which women belong to men. In mo ...

Hi emmalin,
Over the last 1-2 years I have given her many, many, many surprises, presents, flowers, etc.

The last couple of days I gave her a foot massage when she came home after working long hours. I would wait outside of her work to be ready to take her home so she wouldn't have to go out in the cold weather and take a bus or wait for me. I often send her small chat messages with my love. Yesterday I put a small note on her bag in the morning wishing her a nice day and today I saw she had thrown it into the bin.

All my expressions of love to her gets blown away and mean nothing when she gets upset over something.

Use magic tools Report

Rank: 4

Post time 2012-5-17 15:36:09 |Display all floors
Good luck, bro
BUILD UP FROM NOTHING

Use magic tools Report

Rank: 1

Post time 2012-5-17 16:17:27 |Display all floors
HI,
I think that is normal thing in in china for girl dont need to pay anything .in china,ifyou are a good bf or good husband ,you dont need your girl to pay anything.if you do liike this then she will think you love her and her family also will think you are a good man.this is chinese cultural .but now more chinese girl get more independent so they like to share the expenses with their man,but that not mean girl must to do so.the culture between your country and chinese ,that is different, but if you really love her,and most important thing is you have the ability to pay the expenses by youself then you can do that.otherwise ,just ask her to share some expenses,but dont let her to AA,that will let her feel you arenot a good man that really love her.

Use magic tools Report

Rank: 1

Post time 2012-5-17 16:32:20 |Display all floors
This is a two way road M. On the one side you should understand the cultural differences between your country and the one you are living in; in China, true, girls are used that males pay everything for them. On teh other side, she should understand that she's with a foreigner and thus maybe not used to this situation since it is not common (I would even say very unfrequent) back in your country.

Being from Wenzhou, land of great business people, it wouldn't suprise me if she asks for you to buy a house, since in China, many times, marriage is consider like a business transaction. Of course you can say NO, and that will be it; but her parents will not be willing to accept your relationship.

My advise; try to explain to her that you need time to adapt to such things (giving your salary to her once youa re married, letting her eventually check your mobile phone calls and messages, etc...). My guess is that, additionally you might not be very fluent with the language so that means many cultural things that happen around a couple escape your understanding; for example (women speak, men listen).
I just want to say I agree with you.  

Use magic tools Report

Rank: 3Rank: 3

Post time 2012-5-17 16:46:42 |Display all floors
What i want to say is she is not that into you.

Not all the girls in China are same as what you describe to your girlfriend. Many women are quite finacially independent, they totally have the ability to survive without other's help. But when they are having relationship with men, things become somewhat different. I am not saying they become lazy or unable to feed themseves, it's just their mindset, perhaps thousands of years of Chinese tradition influence, they prefer or take it granted that their boyfriends should pay bills in most cases. If their boyfriend don't pay, they are likely to be considered stingy or not masculine. But if the girl really likes someone, she will pay sometimes as a way to sign that she cares about that guy, and loves to continue the relationship. Otherwise, the guy keeps paying all the time. When their relationship escalates and turns to be a forthcoming marriage, it really doesn't matter who pays bills, because they share everying with each other, including money.

Now go back to your girlfriend. If she really loves you, she won't insist that you pay everthing, and won't told you that that is what it is. She probably is taking advantage of you. So get out of the relationship!

Good luck.

Use magic tools Report

You can't reply post until you log in Log in | register

BACK TO THE TOP
Contact us:Tel: (86)010-84883548, Email: blog@chinadaily.com.cn
Blog announcement:| We reserve the right, and you authorize us, to use content, including words, photos and videos, which you provide to our blog
platform, for non-profit purposes on China Daily media, comprising newspaper, website, iPad and other social media accounts.