Author: momowowo

culture diff - chinese girls do not pay anything in a relationship?   [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2012-5-17 11:10:17 |Display all floors
1.This Wenzhou girl is obviously selfish.
2.Does she really love you? or just love your money?
3.This girl is not the epitome of Chinese females.Actually,nowadays more and more women in China are becoming independent in economy,who can survive well without men's backup!
Heavens bless you & me!

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Rank: 4

Post time 2012-5-17 11:15:59 |Display all floors
when i ever lived with my ex   , i paid everything , he just stayed at home .
what the hell !
Il heurt de jouer avec le ciel .

follow your heart, touch your dream ,be yourself .dude !

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Rank: 4

Post time 2012-5-17 11:49:16 |Display all floors
It's  NOT  a culture gap.  The outlook of life is diffrent between you and ur gf.
1. Do NOT think you can change her, better think this way: how long can you stay in the relationship with her without too much hurt?

2. Accept what and who she is totally otherwise jump out from this relationship ASAP.

Good luck

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Rank: 1

Post time 2012-5-17 11:55:40 |Display all floors
I recommand that you can tell her directly that in your country no such culture. Now in China, more and more girls are willing to share expenses with their boyfirends, so your girlfirend should share all resposiblities with you if she really loves you.

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Post time 2012-5-17 12:33:12 |Display all floors
Momo, change your apartment and everything will be solved.

In a modern world two have to understand each other in feeling,staying,costing,future plan etc.

But it is rare.

But not with this super greedy one.

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Post time 2012-5-17 14:11:17 |Display all floors
I'm a girl who come from china,in our country,lovers would work out a fair balance between them.but in most time,tne man will pay for more than the women,so,you shouldn't argue with your girlfriend about it,wish you happy.

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Post time 2012-5-17 14:11:57 |Display all floors
This post was edited by momowowo at 2012-5-19 09:53

Wow! So many replies! Thank you everybody for your thoughts.

First, to her credit, I got her to pay part of our rent (prev and a lie: for the last few months, correct: always) but she keeps forgetting it and only pay when I remind her and she often gets upset with me for reminding her. I do not remind her to be 'calculative' but only because she agreed to help and I thought she honestly meant it.

So she has tried to change towards my culture but is struggling very much with it. So much that she said two days ago that she feels like she is a tenant and I'm the landlord - and then on top of this we have some sort of love for each other - not that we are a couple in a normal relationship any more. Being told this hurt me very much: To ask her for money means I don't fully love her. So sad!

I previously lived with a girl for some years and when she was without a job I would without hesitation pay for all - I see that is a normal thing to do and to help each other in any possible way - that's what a relationship is about: to be unselfish and help each other at all times.

I can understand if you don't live under the same roof. I will also always pay for everything when going out with a girl. But once you live under the same roof (and for more than a year) I thought a relationship would progress to share all things.  

She said that if we bought a house and had a mortgage it would be a different story - still to me I don't see the difference: Rent or mortgage are both expenses in order to live somewhere.

I will see how I can go back and talk to her. Maybe tonight if she isn't in a bad mood.

Thanks again everybody!!!

ps: I disagree strongly with the view of saying Chinese culture is a greedy culture - that is plainly stereotyping and a 'black and white' view...bad!

We all come from different backgrounds, from within a country, within a city, within house, and as part of life we should respect each other, learn and grow. I have seen people from my country behave poorly overseas and I feel bad that people will judge ALL  people from my country as being bad based upon the perception of just a handful of people.

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