Author: momowowo

culture diff - chinese girls do not pay anything in a relationship?   [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2012-5-16 21:10:16 |Display all floors
Sometimes, marriage is like a trade between two families in China. I personally hate it.

It's true that normally the woman take care of family earnings. So if you're gonna get married, think twice if you can accept it.

Since you're not married,that would be her problem if she failed to understand your financial difficulty.
Marriage needs mutual understanding. I suggest you talk to her directly about his matter,
Life is what you make of it

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Post time 2012-5-16 22:24:06 |Display all floors
This post was edited by Ratfink at 2012-5-16 22:29
momowowo Post time: 2012-5-16 16:18
130+ views and no replies. Am I posting this the wrong place? I saw somebody else who posted a simil ...

Having a successful relationship with *any* woman requires a lot of give and take, love alone doesn't cut it in the modern world, it's all about compromise and communication. In this case it is compounded by cultural differences and most likely a major language barrier as well.

I suggest you sit down with her and explain just how things work in the West. Do not argue, just explain to her in logical steps the process and encourage her to talk with other westerners about the issue and also to do some research online. The more open and honest you are and the less confrontational the better.  With luck she will come to understand the complex and contradictoray world of Western ways and she is then far more likely to be more open to paying her share of the expenses.

I cannot stress this enough, excellent communication, a lot of give and take and even more compromise are required to have a really successful relationship with a Chinese or indeed any woman.  The more you work at communication rather than fighting the more likely you are to have a long and successful relationship.  

Good luck

Per Ardua Ad Astra

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Post time 2012-5-17 09:39:48 |Display all floors
In my campus this seems normal,when a guy go outside with his girlfriend,the former would always pay money in most cases,maybe the girl holds the opinion that this behaviour can prove that his boyfriend loves her,and obviously,she enjoy it!and this is Chinese girl,the society makes a pet of them,when you have no money or house,then you never expect to get married in a short time,so what i am doing is to work hard,earning money for my future life.i am in pressure anyway.{:soso_e101:}
Love begins with a smile,grows with a kiss,and ends with a tear,so sad but true.

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Post time 2012-5-17 10:33:59 |Display all floors
I just think it is a  realistic social that she was born in china . maybe she is a self consciousness  . in her life ,you  paly a imporment role in the life ,however it is just as a husband. if you are not her boyfriend, the one who will comes into her life while meet the same condiation with you .so , don't puzzle .
on the other hand ,it is the necessary for your to talk about .

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Post time 2012-5-17 10:40:00 |Display all floors
130 views and no replies.

that is because this topic is older than the line 1 subway.

dude, its how it is here. if my woman makes money. cool. if not well then she chips in all she can and deals with house stuff.

to me that's cool bcs i hate housework .

i'd be happy living in serviced housing but i hate strangers in my home.

anyway, talk to her about it and maybe you can make some adjustments.

otherwise, you can just forget it and don't worry about it.

besides there is always beer!!

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Post time 2012-5-17 11:02:51 |Display all floors
grb Post time: 2012-5-16 16:21
Just wait until you get married.  You will be expected to buy a house for her and maybe her family ...

a greedy family---not Culture!
Heavens bless you & me!

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Post time 2012-5-17 11:07:24 |Display all floors
Some Chinese girl may think that foreign guys are more rich than Chinese guys.
So they will have that thinking--foreign bf should pay for everything. Otherwise, they worry about the there will be insults from other people.
Once u met the girl that was relaying too much on ur money, tell her ur opinion on this problem, if she cannot accept it, then u should think about whether continue this relationship or not.
Fortunately, not all Chinese girls have this opinion, some girls do like to be independant.

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