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Reuters News Flash April 01, 2012|
Blank Harvard Library Wall Declared as Holy
Harvard Library Wall Cultists declared this morning that a blank wall in Harvard’s Lamont Library is a holy site. They claimed this is where the Free Masons, with the help of the Illuminati, secretly chiselled the Twenty Commandments of the Harvard Library on to the wall.
When asked why the wall looked blank, High Priest Danny Feng said “God has made them visible only to true believers.” When asked for proof, he pointed out SINA Blog articles of people who have seen the vision such as
Reporters asked Oracle Interpreter, British Loughborough University
educated tutorial school English teacher why these commandments were written in broken English. He replied contemptuously that God writes in riddles and only the divinely inspired can interpret such profundity properly.
The assembled flock applauded loudly and begged for one example. His Eminence said,”’This moment will nap, you will have a dream;’ means ‘Moment’ is a living entity. Although you have never seen time taking a nap yet, it eventually will. When it does, you will have a dream, so be ready for it.”
“But what kind of dream? “ Asked one reporter.
“Only God knows,“ came the reply.
The gathered thongs, oops, I mean throng, cheered wildly.
His Holiness made a public appeal to Indiana Jones and Lara Croft to help recover the “sacred desk“ on which the Chinese text first revealed itself at 4:30 a.m. in the Fall of 2007, to a shocked and awed student.
Copies of the sacred book ALLOCUTIONS ON THE WALL OF THE HARVARD UNIVERSITY LIBRARY were distributed to everyone present.