Author: MichaelM

Open marriages? In China? In America?   [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2014-7-18 02:16:42 |Display all floors
greatlady Post time: 2012-3-16 16:14
On the other hand, I am shocked as just how many women I've met here in China  ( How many women you ...

I have to say, you don't have to speak English to notice how common it is for uppermiddle class middle aged men in China to have `a second breast` or 小三 or the same thing called different names.

FURTHERMORE, it's a phenomenon not unique to China. In many under developed countries where men are the breadwinners and need to make more money than the woman does, women stay married. Because the economic underdevelopedness has its effects on many aspects of society.

1. Society alienates them. They are seen as "expired goods", yet imagined to be sexually available to other men (because the idea is that a woman can't live without a man). Socially their life is limited as well.
2. They aren't financially able to raise the child(ren) alone.
3. If they need to go back to their family house, it's a shame especially if you're over your 30s or 40s.

There can be many other reasons, these are what I could think of right now.

And as I say, you don't even have to be in China or be American to see this. This is a worldwide fact. Michael is not saying ALL Chinese women tolerate this. But we already have too many posts written by young Chinese girls criticizing these unwritten rules of Chinese society (which also apply to many other underdeveloped countries)

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Post time 2014-7-27 09:54:15 |Display all floors
In China, there are still many parents interfering in their child's marriage.

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Post time 2014-8-21 12:03:16 |Display all floors
In fact ,i don't undersatand this situation,maybe they just too rely on their husband and have no cofidence to find another one to make themselves happy.
In China , a divorced woman with a child is sitll in a awkward position and judged by maybe their reiatives or neighbourhood.
when they were young , they were taught to find a rich and nice guy to rely on and have a baby ,then that's her life  and what she should do .
but it's better now in china, young girl who are well-educated and independent won't tolerate that case any more .they know what they want!!
I am in my twenties ,none of my friends  can accept that so called open marriage!

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Post time 2014-8-21 12:52:45 |Display all floors
Serena.Lee Post time: 2014-8-21 12:03
In fact ,i don't undersatand this situation,maybe they just too rely on their husband and have no co ...

Sooner or later you all will meet "xiao 3"!  
Twentyfive percent out of nothing is still nothing!

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Post time 2014-8-21 12:58:49 |Display all floors
RENREW Post time: 2014-8-21 12:52
Sooner or later you all will meet "xiao 3"!

we never know what will happen  the next minute, but i am quite sure i will spend my life with a man who can make me happy. i don't think marriage is a end of my life .....it's just a new start.....what we experienced ,bitterness or sweetness ,they make us more completed.

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Post time 2014-8-21 13:07:32 |Display all floors
Serena.Lee Post time: 2014-8-21 12:58
we never know what will happen  the next minute, but i am quite sure i will spend my life with a m ...

nice answer!
Twentyfive percent out of nothing is still nothing!

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Post time 2014-8-21 13:09:28 |Display all floors
Maierwei Post time: 2014-7-18 02:07
American women have money and the support of society behind them.
Whereas Chinese women have their o ...

American women are generally very loud

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