Author: butterflyin

Have you ever got experience to love a Chinese man ?   [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2012-3-13 13:04:37 |Display all floors
We need more members like messi30 and amylhz here

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Post time 2012-3-13 19:33:16 |Display all floors
amylhz Post time: 2012-3-10 22:17
Hi messi30, I like the way you talk and you don't attack others even when you disagree with them.  ...

Hello Amy, thank you for answering me and let me give you a final opinion.

Seems in the last posts nobody got the meaning of my long reply, I will try one more time to end this discussion.

In real life we are not exempt to experience sadness, shames and bitter moments, to be married and to have an “accident” (let’s avoid the word “affair” this time) with another person, it’s a situation that it could happen to any of us, my criticism is not about that.,  Let me give you 2 examples, two different situations to be more clear.

Situation 1. - I’m a married man, I’m from Europe and I travel to Korea, there, I fell in love with somebody else. I realized my mistake, I suffered in silence, maybe I confess my mistake to few of my closest friends and then I will feel ashamed I will shut my mouth, like that it will be a good way to show to myself that I feel repented and I start to respect and value more what I have at home. Simple.

Situation 2.- I’m a married man, I’m from Europe and I travel to Korea, there, I fell in love with somebody else. I joined a forum where I release all my hidden feelings in any topic relative to love, I created myself a good reputation  and high moral values, I show myself supportive to young local people who can guide me in their culture and in their local language. After an over talking about love I gained attention from everybody, some with disagreements, some with admiration, some with suspicious attention. After some years posting and participating in the same kind of topics, I found some people with opposing view in my love topics. Finally I have no other way to admitted I fell in love with somebody else. I gave up the forum and time after I come back a bit more careful about love topics but adding some personal or sad situations to make me looks like a victim from other people, so I can gain more attention again because “I need sympathy from people” (her own words). I helped some poor school boys instead to help some in my own country or in Africa that is closer than Korea (children who really are in need), even like that I can say “The life is mine. I do not repent for anything".

Honestly I will respect the person in situation # 1. The bravery in a person is when this person committed an “accident” has the decency to admitted, corrected , to forget it and to respect what this person has at home, how? Avoiding falling in the same past environment.

Amy, I am not an old man and I have enough life experience, I used to live in 3 different foreign countries (not a visitor) I have great  and sad memories from those places where also I found the love but never for the love for a person I wouldn’t dare to put myself a sign to say “I really love China” (being a sporadic visitor). If somebody cheats me, I will report to police with the help of local friends. If I have a headache, I will buy a pill in the pharmacy. If I have a serious health problem, I will go to hospital. If a close relative passed away I will pray for him/her or I go to church to find peace. If my ex brother in law fall in love again I can support him or I can show my disagreement depending his personal situation. Many of these things a person can make comments in a forum but to comment many times again and again and again to show herself as a victim of different circumstances it’s absurd for me and it lose all my credibility and respect.

If this post is still unclear for you, google the meaning of “attention seeker”, maybe it could be helpful to make me understand or to get your own ideas.
You can find good friends in real life from abroad or from around the corner, the success to find a good friend is about how you use your logic and your own wisdom to identify them, to choose them and to keep only the sincere and good ones.

In this forum in other sections I have found some troubles, as you know when a member sometimes disagree with other members, you take the risk to be insulted and I have received some of it. I don’t hate them, I don’t have real reason to hate them, and it’s their own way to communicate or the way they were raised. In most of my posts I keep distance with friendly and unfriendly posters, why? Because this is an internet board, no hatreds, no praises, no supports, no insults, even no PMs, I never use it. I follow people’s writing here. That’s it.

Amy, I’m a member since 2007. I come here very few times in a year but I have read a lot here and I found many disappointed topics and posters. To clarify you (if it’s still needed) my posts is about what I read here, my replies are for what people’s write here and whatever people could say about me, I don’t care. I care people who are decent, the ones who don’t use other people for personal benefits and what I admire from some posters here is their strength to debate sensitive topics, people who take the risk to be insulted for defending a valid point of view, that’s the kind of friends I would like to have from this forum. The rest, honestly I just wish them good luck.

I don’t know if I have enemies but from me I don’t considerate any member from this forum an enemy and the hatreds doesn’t exists in my life. I think in a discussion there are no winners or losers, there are clarifications, facts and prevails the good reasoning.

Thank you for reading my long reply. Have a nice day.
Denial, according the psychoanalysts, is one of the most primary mechanisms of defense. It consists in the attitude of denying or minimizing obvious facts of reality with which the individual can´t  cope or whose irresponsibility is unable to meet.

And I agree.

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Post time 2012-3-13 19:37:31 |Display all floors
butterflyin Post time: 2012-3-11 21:12
"It’s true it’s not right for a married person to love someone else outside the marriage".

Amy ...

Hello, i see you are the OP of this thread but in this specific extra topic in this thread, you don't know much, please better stay away. not offense. thank you
Denial, according the psychoanalysts, is one of the most primary mechanisms of defense. It consists in the attitude of denying or minimizing obvious facts of reality with which the individual can´t  cope or whose irresponsibility is unable to meet.

And I agree.

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Post time 2012-3-13 19:42:32 |Display all floors
a511404487 Post time: 2012-3-13 13:04
We need more members like messi30 and amylhz here

Thank you but I dont think as you.
What this forum needs is all kind of people with sense of humor, knowledge, respect, etc., ready to debate any topic but following the forum rules.
Denial, according the psychoanalysts, is one of the most primary mechanisms of defense. It consists in the attitude of denying or minimizing obvious facts of reality with which the individual can´t  cope or whose irresponsibility is unable to meet.

And I agree.

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Post time 2012-3-18 14:39:46 |Display all floors
messi30 Post time: 2012-3-13 19:33
Hello Amy, thank you for answering me and let me give you a final opinion.

Seems in the last post ...

Very good and clear message.

Hope AmyhZ got your meaning.

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Post time 2012-3-18 14:46:04 |Display all floors
messi30 Post time: 2012-3-13 19:33
Hello Amy, thank you for answering me and let me give you a final opinion.

Seems in the last post ...

The one who are looking for forumites sympathy are mentlly sick indeed.

I've got likely a complain messag from SB who said that I never gave her any sympathies for her personal stories.

That's quiet shocking to hear that...

I would like to support those who likely to talk real and truth as well as with sincere love to China and Chinese people,but not faked ones.




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August's Best Writer 2012

Post time 2012-3-19 08:19:28 |Display all floors
greatlady Post time: 2012-3-18 14:46
The one who are looking for forumites sympathy are mentlly sick indeed.

I've got likely a complai ...

I was right when I told you that I do not trust you.I am not surprised that you do not believe my love about China because you simply can not realise what love is.
My real friends know very well what I feel about China ,and really if you do not believe me meiguanxi.I can not analyse more.I am really bored and tired.
Your hatred about me has really scared me.
I really    love China,半个 中国 人

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