Author: voice_cd

Translation Contest Series No. 1   [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2012-1-16 19:44:02 |Display all floors
seneca Post time: 2012-1-16 19:24
Ooops

Sorry!

I will consider that

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Post time 2012-1-16 21:34:08 |Display all floors
voice_cd Post time: 2012-1-16 19:19
Voice_cd?

Don't you mean 1584austin?

I musta been reading it up side down, that is an easy mistake with Chinese for me

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Post time 2012-1-16 21:50:24 |Display all floors
1 Man: Look, I cashed out my retirement plan.
2 Man: Honey, let’s get out of here!
3 Man: We'll have a triple-wide trailer and a great pickup truck.
   Women: With that and what else?
4 Man: Let's go, let’s get back to the country.


龙年顺顺利利

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Post time 2012-1-16 22:46:26 |Display all floors
This post was edited by expatter at 2012-1-16 22:48

OK ………

Well I was asked to make comment on the translation of this presented text and for me the first question must be:

What is the text ………. ?

Once that is answered I believe we will have the key to what is a good translation or functional rather than literal purpose of the text ………

The answer to that must be that the text is a cartoon which is supposed to reveal a funny notion or idea, and in this case via a seemingly naïve male and a pragmatic female …….

And for that we have to discover why it is intended to be funny for the translation to convey the correct feeling and the author’s intended idea or message ……..

The core of this is I believe that he informs the wife of the withdrawal of all their savings with the idea of leaving the country to start a good life abroad ……..

She cannot imagine how such a small amount of money can achieve this ……..

And he reveals that his idea is to move to the Chinese countryside ……..

The humour is in the idea that life in the countryside is ‘so different and far removed from city life’ that it is like or the equivalent of going abroad, and a small nudging dig for the reader of the inequality between these two totally different and disparate worlds  ……..


1)        I would therefore first look to see if the idea of ‘emigrate’ is in a translation as the Chinese expression ‘yi min’ expresses both immigration and emigration, but in this text the word emigrate is the implied idea and therefore of paramount importance for the humour element to work …….

2)        Next I would look to see how close to the original text the translation is ……..

3)        Finally, the rendering of the translation from the perspective of spelling and syntax ……..

My choice based on the former rational is in order of merit and errors placed in BOLD type:

Waiboshu
1 Man: Look, I have withdrawn all the deposits, hundreds of thousands!
2 Man: Honey, let’s emigrate.
3 Man: Imagine our future, we will have big house, great car, we will live like a landlord pl.
   Women: With such little amount?
4 Man: Go, let’s emigrate to the countryside.

Cicci
Man: Look, I was already withdraw all of my deposit from the bank - hundreds of thousands!
Man: Darling, let us emigration! And then we will have a house, a car, live the life like the landlord 's.
woman: This little money is enough?
Man: Go, let's immigrants to rural areas.

Fragar
1. Man:Check it out!I've (no spaces) withdrawn all our money from bank!More (no spaces) than 100 grands~
2. Man:Sweetie~Let's make an emigration!
    3. Man:  Let's lead a landlord's life with gorgeous house and nice car~
    Woman:With such little money?
4. Man:Come on~Let's head to the country~

goldengrove
1.  Man: Check it out! I've cashed all my deposits at the bank, more than a hundered thousand!
2.  Man: Sweetheart, let's emigrate!
3.  Man: We'll live like a king and a queen, with large houses and fancy cars!
     Woman: (Thinking to herself) What? Are you kidding? With that little money?
4.  Man: Yeah, let's move...to the countryside!

I see that seneca has given a lot of time to this and I am sure that this is much appreciated and myself included  ...........

I hope that Voice_CD will correlate these ideas to produce the winners list ..........    {:soso_e181:}

Well done guys  ........      {:soso_e181:}         


PS: Any donations gladly accepted to the "Save the Expatter" holiday fund  .............      






What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left  -   Oscar Levant

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Post time 2012-1-17 00:29:12 |Display all floors
expatter Post time: 2012-1-16 22:46
OK ………

Well I was asked to make comment on the translation of this presented text and for me the ...

I turned the computer up side down, now I can see where I went wrong{:soso_e101:}

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Post time 2012-1-17 00:33:55 |Display all floors
1584austin Post time: 2012-1-17 00:29
I turned the computer up side down, now I can see where I went wrong

Bless you .........   



What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left  -   Oscar Levant

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Post time 2012-1-17 00:40:16 |Display all floors
Oooops  ..........   !

I forgot to mention posts # 10 Uncle Mario and post# 15 R guo guo ........

Close but no 'Brownie  points'  ..........     {:soso_e181:}


Next time guys  .........   


What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left  -   Oscar Levant

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