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After a class about law in middle school, Yao Jiaxin taking the book back told his father, his father suppressed him and ruled him. Later Yao Qingwei and his son skimmed through the book together. Yao Qingwei told his son that he, a guardian, of course should rule him, or he (son) would shoulder the responsibility after he (son) committed a mistake. The words is common in Chinese families. But through such kind of communication, an ignorant juvenile was hardly to learn the independence and was hardly to learn how to shoulder the responsibility. |
The journalist of CCTV: His mom said that he were a little scared of you.
Yao's Father, Yao Qingwei: It was like that. Because I, a solider, probably have a little, not really beat him, more commands - you should do this; you should do that - he didn't ask and I didn't tell too much about the reasons.
The journalist of CCTV: He had said, his father didn't permit he to commit any mistake?
Yao's Father, Yao Qingwei: That is to say, I would criticize him after he committed mistakes. Because I remembered that many people thought me to be a irresponsible person. Actually I think I am responsible. Maybe the over-responsible words is likely irresponsible.
Yao Qingwei rethinks that they missed the deep communication between father and son. They missed the chance to shoulder.
Yao's Father, Yao Qingwei: I thought that I did seldom encouragement. Actually I love him and were satisfied with his achievements. But I was afraid that he would be proud, I still criticize him from time to time.
The journalist of CCTV: How did you criticize him?
Yao's Father, Yao Qingwei: Once I felt that he has a sense of pride, I would say, large as the world, there are too many stronger people than you outside. It is not remarkable after you made something or you made a few of achievements.
The journalist of CCTV: criticism has many methods.
Yao's Father, Yao Qingwei: Probably my words are a little stern. He thought it was cruel.
The journalist of CCTV: What was his usual attitude?
Yao's Father, Yao Qingwei: He, my son, sometimes didn't protest, only said with a smile that, no matter what I did, I was always wrong.
Yao Jiaxin (in the trial): Since I went to Junior middle school, I felt oppressed and often wanted to suicide. I thought it was not interesting to live. I thought others were happy and It meant nothing whatever I did.
The couple regret that they didn't know their son's thoughts. Yao Jiaxin had a strong sense of humility. He has seldom taken a photo from adolescence. He had ever decreased sixty KG weight in four month in order to increase the confidence. Sometimes, he spit what he had eaten. And he suffered stomach cramps caused by that.
After Yao Jiaxin passed the exam access to collage, his grandfather honoured him ten thousand Yuan. He did plastic surgery to get a double eyelid with five thousand Yuan. He wanted to get admiration. It seems that he has a stronger desire than ordinary people.
Yao's Mother, Duan Ruihua: Once he planned to do, he must finish it. I often told him, my kid, you shouldn't act like that. persistence is good, but not too much.
The journalist of CCTV: Why did you worry about him too much that time?
Yao's Mother, Duan Ruihua: Because everything reaching extreme means reversal beginning. He had a high demand of himself. He wanted to do the best. He would hate himself if he didn't do the best.
The journalist of CCTV: You said that he must do the best. Is it your instruction?
Yao's Mother, Duan Ruihua: Maybe it was our instruction.
The journalist of CCTV: Would he talk to his father if he made mistakes outside?
Yao's Mother, Duan Ruihua: He had never talked to us about the things outside.
... to be continued.