- Registration time
- Last login
- Online time
- 1186 Hour
- Reading permission
Originally posted by polaris1120 at 2010-4-13 13:59
no matter its wife swapping or husband swapping, it's the couple's choice. i mean, the TWO people's choice. when the wife or the husband doesn't agree to sleep with others, then it's another issue ...
Polaris, it's not like that.
no matter its wife swapping or husband swapping, it's the couple's choice.
It matters that your thread only mentioned "wife swapping" and totally silent on "husband swapping" until I pointed out. It shows your readiness and you people's readiness for such radical (albeit also anti-society) behaviour. In one of your posts, you also mentioned about "wife putting mistresses to jail", why only the women get punished and women punish the women? This immediately shows one's pysche (and I am not referring to yours alone) and mental makeup. Therefore, whether wife or husband swapping, this can't be something fair in China. If it can't be fair, someone will get hurt and harmed. Who will be the first casualty? The women !
i mean, the TWO people's choice. when the wife or the husband doesn't agree to sleep with others, then it's another issue which can cause divorce.
This is where you get EVERYTHING wrong. You don't understand what is going on. The professor in question was attempting on an ADULT GAME (an Orgy or Polygamy, whatever). It is not about couples' marriage getting into trouble. It is about a game for the adults to swap partners with each otherl; in other words, he wants to engage in a SEX ORGY or is encouraging POLYGAMY !
But, in your (flawed) perception of "spouse swapping", it is as good as giving the marriage in trouble a DEATH SENTENCE. If a marriage is in trouble, there is still hope of reconcilation if the couple is given proper counselling. But once a couple agrees to sleep with someone else, they have chosen the route of NO RETURN. The fact that the husband or wife "disagree" to sleep with someone else, is simply superfluous.
what i support is that the behavior itself should't be a crime, since it doesn't affect others.
You are wrong again. It AFFECTS everyone. It affects your whole community, neighbours and friends. HOW WE BEHAVE! If your government shuts its eyes to such IMMORAL behaviour, the next couple will do the same, and the next and the next. So, how can you say that "it doesn't affect others"?
As for calling it a "crime", that's OK. A "crime" is really nothing but a LABEL and it has become an effective tool for all governments to legitimately FORBID a behaviour that it doesn't want happen or repeat. The label of crime is effective because it adds a stigma which people associate as bad and anti-social.
as for the children, they don't need to watch their parents' sexual behaviors. when the couple live peacefully in the family, they won't hurt children.
You are wrong again. It will hurt the children even more. Like UYA said, we are all "sexual being", so are our children. When you were young, what do you play? I am sure every child has played "family" at some point in their childhood, be it as father or mother. You have dolls which you want to dress, feed and take care. Where do they learn these behaviours? Who do they model after?
Again, the children will grow up one day. When they reach puberty or even before, who is going to teach them SEX education? The mother camp or the father camp? Or should it be the school's responsibility? Maybe, let them be delinquent and throw the problem to the social workers? Then again, how equipped and professional are your social workers and their network to deal with dysfunctional kids?
You are exposing yourself to more future problems when you could have nipped them in the bud by doing it right.
many couples, although not swapping partners, don't love with each other anymore. their marriage is dead, and they don't have the ability to live harmoniously at home. this definitely will affect their children.
If a marriage is in trouble, there are 2 avenues available ~~ Counselling and hopefully that saves the marriage, or Divorce - ends the marriage.
If something is in trouble, hurt or harm naturally ensues. You don't turn your face away and say "all is well". That's CHEATING and serves no good.
Children will definitely get hurt in any broken marriage or broken family. That is is WHY it is the responsibility of the ADULTS, both adults to behave responsibly and learn to deal with problems and not escape from them.
Commitment, devotion and discipline are not something that comes naturally in people. We have to learn them and practise like we learn to read and write in school, as humble students. They are irreplaceable ! Simply, no tricks, no excuses and no compromises.
You may think this sounds tough. It is NOT. They are not IMPOSSIBILITIES and many couples have fulfilled and lived them. That's why, our society is still hopeful. :):)
Alright, lesson over, and get back to work !