Author: expatter

Amusing or funny recollections of China - No whingers please! [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2010-1-21 05:39:00 |Display all floors

Hmm

Originally posted by LongDDxU at 2010-1-19 04:34
Two years ago

i was in Shanghai too

it was raining

and i ran  towards to foreigner with my umbrella

  ????


Only because it was a girl with the BIG BOOBIES

You Naughty little Chap

Yum Yum

Zai jian

Deng hui er laio
Chao ren

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Post time 2010-1-21 16:10:48 |Display all floors
How to make the taxi driver laugh using basic broken Chinese.


When I first started learning Chinese, a trip in a taxi meant I had to know the name of the building (and how to get there) or a close well-known focal point.

And also the words for left, right, ahead, next to, in front, behind, next to and forwards.

I found those few items could actually get you almost anywhere. But cannot be construed as speaking Chinese.


I would get in the taxi and give the building name and street, and of he would go.

Next he might ask me where I am from.  Which only requires a one word reply.

Maybe mention the weather hot/cold, the number of people or cars on the road.  Again just an agreement.

And quite soon a driver might put up his thumb (OK) and make the point my Chinese was very good. And also say this in Chinese.

My reply to this would be 'nali nali' (not so not so)

Invariably, the driver would laugh out heartily and I of course would do the same.


The expression used would normally be for a foreigner who speaks quite good Chinese as in a whole conversation, and not for someone who only knew a few words. The speaker would say your Chinese is very good and the normal and polite answer even if your Chinese was very good is 'nali nali. And it represents humble politeness and negation of your ability.

In knowing that my Chinese was almost non existent the phrase is therefore inconsistent with the reply and becomes one of subtle humour.   

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Post time 2010-1-21 16:28:19 |Display all floors
Originally posted by expatter at 2010-1-19 02:08
A couple of years ago I was in Shanghai and I was in a shop.

When I came out it was pouring with rain and I didn't have an umbrella.

I needed to get about a hundred yards up the street and I  ...



i wonder, did you walk with your arm around his waist, slowly letting your forearm rest aginst his firm buttocks as well?
-1337

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Post time 2010-1-21 16:33:45 |Display all floors
and as you scurried along in the rain, laughing and giggling, skipping through puddles, just you two grown men, beneath an umbrella surely too small for you alone, he not knowing who the hell you were but being infintely polite, how gay do you think you made him?

on a scale of 1 to 10


1 is no effect on him at all, thick dragon skinned guy

5 is a 50% effect

10 is meaning he could be your next victim / bf
-1337

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Post time 2010-1-21 16:38:20 |Display all floors
My, my what indulgent fantasies you have.


Luckily there is treatment available.

Don't leave it too late.

It might get worse.   

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Post time 2010-1-21 16:39:01 |Display all floors
How do you keep an idiot in suspense?


?

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Post time 2010-1-21 16:40:01 |Display all floors

Wow what's up with the filters?

How do you keep a simpleton in suspense?  


?

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