Author: expatter

The difference between men and women. Ever wondered? [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2010-1-5 06:07:40 |Display all floors

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Post time 2010-1-5 11:53:40 |Display all floors

(= global analysis with Chinese characteristics )

add a bit
The difference between man and woman is best depicted when both face a problem.

The man will roll up his sleeves and mechanically work out the fastest and most efficient solution.

The woman will coiffure her hair and go into a finely tuned debate on who could have caused the problem, what was the state of mind during that fateful moment when the problem was being formed, and what will be the ultimate result of any solution.

By the time she has finished her perceptive and astounding analysis, the problem would have solved itself and the man would have expired from apoplexy.

the end

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Post time 2010-1-5 12:14:21 |Display all floors
and a bit more?


If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.


When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.


A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she
doesn't need but it's on sale.


A man has seven items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, shampoo and a towel. The average number of items in the typical
woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.


A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.


A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.


A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.


Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.


Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.


A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

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Post time 2010-1-5 12:19:37 |Display all floors
a bit more?

Commandment 1
Marriages are made in heaven. But then again, so is thunder and lightning.

Commandment 2
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

Commandment 3
Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least a 100 grand!

Commandment 4
Married life is very frustrating.
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

Commandment 5
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing:
Either the car is new or the wife is.

Commandment 6
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one;
The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Commandment 7
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said .
After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

Commandment 8
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook.
But the law allows only one wife.

Commandment 9
Marriage and love are purely a matter of chemistry. That is why one treats the other like toxic waste.

Commandment 10
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.

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Post time 2010-1-5 12:26:55 |Display all floors
(an essay)

I am not very bright so i may get this wrong too. Also it's not easy to get into the minds of men to try and rationalize their actions. For that matter, some women too!

Maybe it has to do with society. You'd hardly hear of men being asked to place as much importance on faithfulness to women as they would on their scout's honor or their company's mission statement.

If caught, they are more often than not excused as wild oats blown into the wrong fields by forces of nature with their conscience stretched by some vague and hitherto unproven anthropological belief that men are born hunters. And these days they don't just hunt buffaloes.

On the other hand, women are groomed to abide by a silent code of conduct because, apparently, they are seen to be the nucleus of the family unit, domesticated to discharge good example to their children in such matters as trust-based relationship-building.

This is easily proven. The first thoughts of women when they discover they have been cheated is to rationalize their next course of action with their children in mind first.

Perhaps all this is because the way relationships are cemented have changed.

For men, the exchange of peace-pipes inside toupees to avert the next tribal war has progressed to imbibing excessive quantities of intoxicating beverages in dark cozy lounges where it won't be just the tobacco haze and dim lights which will numb the senses to such an extent that the search for oxygen has to proceed south of the navel.

Business pressure is a term yet to be added to the lexicon of today's workplace only because it is as implicit as entertainment accounts, some of which being of such magnitudes that they have torpedoed a number of high-powered organizations in due course.

Perhaps with each decibar of pressure the resistance weakens, and the line that divides business from family gets blurred, furthermore abetted by another factor....the ease by which personal reward can be decided and claimed for all those hours and days of hard, high-pressured, work out there in that jungle just to bring back the week's spoils for the family table, furthermore without any inborn ability to share with a sympathetic ear how hard it has been to make such trifling amounts.

Nature abhors vacuums and pressure built here has been rationalized until it can be released there. Too often, boredom is also swept under the category of pressure subsection work.

In some cases, all this is because ears which should have been sympathetic were closed in order for the eyes to catch the next drama episode. It is something of a tragedy of modern day life that the very episode being shown tells the same story that is being enacted right in the same living or bed room.

So it remains to be said that there is currently no mentoring system in the world which teaches men how to take work pressure without succumbing to the need to go out and relieve it by sowing some oats in order to stave off global warming. Maybe women should get together and start such a course.

And that ends this side of the gramophone record. Flipping to the other side...

Trust. Trust as an emotion in an xx-xy chromosomal setting is more than trust in a business setting.

In the latter, there is both verbal and documented contractual commitments which delimit actions that will break the working trust and trigger arbitration.

In the former, there is perhaps something else, since having a marriage contract would cheapen the very notion of what spousal love should be.

Maybe it comes back to memory. She (or he) is presumably the first and only person who has said that sweetest but shortest word of them all. Yes.

A marriage is not just about commitment or ceremony or children or enrichment or status.

It is about the most unique, bi-personal and continuous experience in all of life.

All the roses and chocolates in the world cannot hold a candle to a couple whose hairs have grown white in equal measure but whose eyes in diminishing capacity can yet still see each other as clearly now as it was for them so many decades ago.

And since the two lives are shared as one, the pain he has every day is the pain she carries inside her too without his prompting. Vice versa.

If a man realizes this as frequently as he remembers that moment when she had said yes, then he should make it his daily mission in life to lessen the load she will carry in her heart which is caused by her losing her trust in him.

For it is not any ordinary load. It is the load that sits right at the very point which determines her entire being.

And that can only be so because she sees him as the only fulcrum in her life, the only new, encrypted, most special, password-protected, non-hackable, multipurpose identity card.

The reason, color, song, frame, soaring spirit, and all of her existence in society.

He is her only safe harbor in a world of tsunamic waves.

When she looks at herself in the mirror, she doesn't see that freckly, giggly girl with the ponytail. She sees only one hot momma complemented by only one presumably balding man in this world of many hunks.

For most women, marriage is the only institution that they will identify with. Other than the SPCA.

Which leaves one question which i cannot answer....

does he feel differently if she has to work too?

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Post time 2010-1-5 18:03:15 |Display all floors

Good essay. Markwu.

Live in the movie!!!!

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Post time 2010-1-5 19:44:49 |Display all floors
Well done Mark, have read similar things elsewhere and if I can ever find them again, I'll post 'em for you.

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