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Love and Stress situation [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 1

Post time 2009-9-7 01:59:32 |Display all floors
Hi,

I've been dating my girlfriend for nearly two years now and I am under a lot of pressure to marry her.

She says that she is under a lot of pressure from her family and she wants to settle down very soon.

We have argued so much over the last few months as we don't agree on certain cultural issues, which go against both our beliefs.

I am from London and my girlfriend is Chinese and we both have strong characters.

I want to be with her and I can see a future together. I love and care for her so very much.

However the stress has got so bad, that its affecting my health. I'm having severe headaches, chest pains and panic attacks everyday.

I've been to the doctors many times and I'm really worried about my future health.

If we break up i feel that I will not be able to go on without her or ever want another relationship again.

If we get married I don't want to recent her if I have to agree with her conditions of marriage and traditional culture and I don't want her to change
her way of thinking and recent me as well in the years to come.

I don't know what to do, we just keep arguing and I feel that if we get married as we are now the arguments will continue and it will affect my health even more.

I don't want to keep her waiting for marriage.

I don't know what to do.

I'm fighting the feelings in my heart for her and the negative physical effect this situation is having on me.


[ Last edited by lostdream76 at 2009-9-7 02:35 AM ]

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Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2009-9-7 05:34:10 |Display all floors
Originally posted by lostdream76 at 2009-9-7 01:59
Hi,

I've been dating my girlfriend for nearly two years now and I am under a lot of pressure to marry her.

She says that she is under a lot of pressure from her family and she wa ...




Do you want to have a short pain?

Or

A long pain?


You assume you can not live without her

Care to find out if it is true?


One way or the other

You have to find out!

You can find out now

Or

In the future!


Unless you can work out your differences in values and beliefs with her

I see no future in your union



Have been dating for two years?

During all these years of dating...no work and just play?



Two strong characters?

Well,

There is an old Chinese saying ...  "one mountain is too small for two tigers"!

And not long ago, a member added  "unless they are tiger and tigress"

Does the saying apply to your situation?      


Oh....my final question

Do you plan to marry her?

If you do

When?              :)

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Rank: 1

Post time 2009-9-7 08:32:42 |Display all floors

you must be considerate

you have different cultural backgrounds , for you, Chinese culture looks like a little unacceptable, i have seen lots of similar examples, but if you love your gf, you need to accept it and be willingly. If you cannot ,the only choice is for you to break up with her , there is no way out. There are so many people around the world ,so you could find out a suitable girl one day , the most important thing is your health, please take care.

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Post time 2009-9-8 10:14:42 |Display all floors

the best way

i think health is the most important thing for everyone. if you still love her , maybe the fighting is going on.  you can talk about  your  feeling to your gf, let  her understand. after talking about, she dosen't accept, breaking up is the best way to you .

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Rank: 1

Post time 2009-9-8 10:58:13 |Display all floors

take care of your health

Originally posted by lostdream76 at 2009-9-7 01:59
Hi,

I've been dating my girlfriend for nearly two years now and I am under a lot of pressure to marry her.

She says that she is under a lot of pressure from her family and she wa ...

first you must take care of your health!
And through this words i believe that you are a well and responsible man!
In my opinion,in China almost the all familys must face to the pressure of marrying,but at the end almost familys are happy.So, i think maybe the pressure is for a while.I don't agree with you that you both have strong character is a problem,everyone is different and everyone has own character,so if anything you can talk with eachother,and understand eachother everything will go smoothly.

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Rank: 4

Post time 2009-9-8 11:01:28 |Display all floors
i don't know what something else i can  say.
everying make yoursfle
trust your feel!!

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Post time 2009-9-8 13:04:38 |Display all floors
Firsr, health is most important.  Try to take good care of your health.
Second,find the key problem between you two.  I just can't understand you trouble clearly.  As you said, you love the girl very much.So why can't you marry with her.  maybe you should ask yourself if you love the girl.

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