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(转贴自外研社网站11-15)佳作共欣赏,疑义相与析(含讲评、译文范例) [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2009-5-1 22:13:50 |Display all floors
佳作共欣赏,疑义相与析(续三)
——凌原老师译文讲评
编辑注:在外研社编辑委员会主任、社长顾问凌原老师的主持下,外研社对编辑进行培训的“翻译沙龙”已经成功地举办了两次讲座。第一次讲座以中文新闻标题的英译为主,凌老师以实例为大家具体讲解了标题翻译的原则和技巧,并为大家留下作业。凌老师详细批改了每一份作业,并把优秀、别致、灵活的译文结集起来,在第二次讲座中做了讲评。
  翻译界学人众多,名家林立,风格各有不同。有人偏好理论,有人注重实践。凌老师带领大家走上的正是从大量具体的实践中磨练译笔的艰苦征程,不过在克服了翻译中或隐或显的文化障碍,把中文译成了流畅通达的英文之后,大家也分外体会到艰辛之后的欣喜和欣慰。
  以下是凌老师点评的讲稿,请大家对照自己的译文琢磨一下吧!


11.房产商百万年薪聘下海官员
注:“房产商”出现了多种译法,正确的应该是developer或realtor;“百万年薪”也产生了各种翻译形式,比如1m a year/ at millions/ a million yuan per year/ 1 million annual salary等,第一种不太容易理解,其余的都可以考虑。“下海官员”可以理解成someone who quits officialdom for the business world,也可以说是official turned businessman,美国前总统里根就被人称作the movie-star-turned 40th president of the United States。许多同事选择ex-officials/ former officials,是较简洁的译法。例一句子结构不错,但不可以说business officials,因为这表示管理商业的官员,英文中常见此类名词组合,如lawyer husband, farmer worker等,这种情况下前面的名词往往表明后面名词的身份。
佳译举例:
— Million RMB hunt for business officials by developers;
— Developer’s million-yuan hunt for official-turned businessman;
— Developer recruits ex-officials with million-yuan salary;
— Developers offer million-yuan salary for former officials;
— Realtor hires former government official with million-yuan salary;
— Former officials wooed by real estate agents with a million RMB
注:最后一例可改为Realtor woos ex-official with million-yuan salary,避免使用被动态。Woo是佳译,相应的说法还有court, pursue, solicit等。

12.中日拟建立军事热线
佳译举例:
—China, Japan to establish/set up/open military hotline;
—Sino-Japanese Military Hotline Under Contemplation
—Sino-Japanese military hotline on agenda;
注:on agenda是此句中“拟建立”的优秀译文。

13.校长惩罚学生互抽耳光
抽耳光:slap/whack/hit sb in the face; give sb a box on the ears; box sb’s ears;
—Headmaster asks students to give each other a box
注:有了英文中的固定说法box sb’s ears,上例的处理方式就不会引起误解,是很好的译文。
多数译法:Headmaster/headteacher/principal/schoolmaster punishes students to slap each other
佳译举例:
— Headermaster punishes students by mutual face-slapping;
—Headteacher purnishes students by slapping each other in the face
注:这两例中的by是简练的译文,并不是被动语态的标志。

14.少妇网上视频裸聊被抓
裸:nude/ naked; 抓:nab, bust, catch,arrest,collar
注:“少妇”出现了几种译法,如young woman, young married woman, woman, 甚至有middle-aged woman,最简洁的译法是young wife。“少妇网上视频裸聊”的一种佳译就是 young wife chatting online with nothing on。
佳译举例:
— Naked cyber chatting woman arrested;
— Young Women Caught Video-chatting Naked;
— Young woman arrested for chatting online naked;
— Young housewife handcuffed for nude chatting;
— Young wife caught chatting naked online;
— Young wife busted for chatroom nudity

15.中国必须和平发展
佳译举例:
— China must adhere to peaceful development
—Peaceful development is/, a must for China
上例中的下划线部分去掉就是一个好的标题

[ Last edited by laoxianggg at 2009-5-1 10:24 PM ]

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Post time 2009-5-1 22:50:05 |Display all floors

房产商

房产商 指 房地产开发商real estate developers 或简称developers,而realtor 则指房地产中介,用在这里显然不合适。

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Post time 2009-5-1 23:00:32 |Display all floors

少妇网上视频裸聊被抓

Young wife busted for chatroom nudity 这个比较好,如果能利用bust这个双关语就更好了。

Big/small busted young wife busted for chatroom nudity.

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Post time 2009-5-1 23:03:05 |Display all floors
— Headermaster punishes students by mutual face-slapping;
—Headteacher purnishes students by slapping each other in the face

校长和学生互抽耳光作为惩罚?校长不好当啊。

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Post time 2009-5-3 21:45:58 |Display all floors

hehe

Originally posted by laoxianggg at 2009-5-1 23:03
— Headermaster punishes students by mutual face-slapping;
—Headteacher purnishes students by slapping each other in the face
校长和学生互抽耳光作为惩罚,校长不好当啊。



hehe,loose translation

[ Last edited by smile_elle at 2009-5-3 09:59 PM ]

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