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(转贴自外研社网站1-10)佳作共欣赏,疑义相与析(含讲评、译文范例) [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2009-5-1 22:11:42 |Display all floors
佳作共欣赏,疑义相与析(含讲评、译文范例)
——翻译沙龙讲座集萃•第1辑
编辑注:本文是外研社对社内编辑进行培训的《翻译沙龙》活动中,外研社编辑委员会主任、社长顾问凌原老师给编辑们留的作业。如果你想提高自己的翻译水平,不妨也尝试着翻译一下。本文后面,分别链接着这些新闻标题的讲评和范例,欢迎大家与自己的译文对照、欣赏。希望通过这样的方式,对你的帮助更大。

1.美校园枪击案或将影响美国立法
2.蔡武:和平发展是中国实现现代化的必然选择
3.个税申报为何公众率先官员断后?
4.湖北数所高校领导腐败落马
5.比尔•盖茨明起访华
6.王金平透露拟访大陆谈“三通”
7.变性美女全球征男友
8.李敖称若台海危机爆发 台军仅能够支撑两天
9.打击网络淫秽色情
10.黄金周购票难将缓解
11.房产商百万年薪聘下海官员
12.中日拟建立军事热线
13.校长惩罚学生互抽耳光
14.少妇网上视频裸聊被抓
15.中国必须和平发展
16.追本溯源:台闽豫千年前是一家
17.第六次全国铁路提速首列列车驶出 由成都至广州
18.国新办就中国知识产权保护状况等举行发布会
19.罪犯劫持直升机劫狱
20.安倍称反对解除对华武器禁运
21.英国国防大臣就水兵“故事换金钱”一事正式道歉
22.美国耗费巨资推行“青少年禁欲计划”惨遭失败
23.英国患癌母亲产下双胞胎男婴
24.美国总统候选人喜男扮女装
25.美弗吉尼亚理工大学学生网上对话披露枪击案细节

佳作共欣赏,疑义相与析(续一) 1-5
佳作共欣赏,疑义相与析(续二) 6-10
佳作共欣赏,疑义相与析(续三) 11-15
佳作共欣赏,疑义相与析(续四) 16-20
佳作共欣赏,疑义相与析(续五) 21-25  

佳作共欣赏,疑义相与析(续一)
——凌原老师译文讲评
编辑注:在外研社编辑委员会主任、社长顾问凌原老师的主持下,外研社对编辑进行培训的“翻译沙龙”已经成功地举办了两次讲座。第一次讲座以中文新闻标题的英译为主,凌老师以实例为大家具体讲解了标题翻译的原则和技巧,并为大家留下作业。凌老师详细批改了每一份作业,并把优秀、别致、灵活的译文结集起来,在第二次讲座中做了讲评。
  翻译界学人众多,名家林立,风格各有不同。有人偏好理论,有人注重实践。凌老师带领大家走上的正是从大量具体的实践中磨练译笔的艰苦征程,不过在克服了翻译中或隐或显的文化障碍,把中文译成了流畅通达的英文之后,大家也分外体会到艰辛之后的欣喜和欣慰。
  以下是凌老师点评的讲稿,请大家对照自己的译文琢磨一下吧!

1.美校园枪击案或将影响美国立法
枪击案:
shootings; rampage;shooting rampage
佳译举例:
—Campus shootings to impact US legislation;
—US campus shooting challenges lawmakers;
—Gunman’s campus rampage likely to impact US legislation
注:“或将”有多种处理方法,译成likely to是比较简洁明了的一种;标题翻译中的动词是重点,此例中的“影响”也有多种译法,译成impact比较有力度,令人印象深刻。

2.蔡武:和平发展是中国实现现代化的必然选择
佳译举例:
— Peaceful development a must for China’s modernization;
— China’s modernization bound to peaceful path;
—Peaceful development inevitable way for modernization: Cai Wu
注:此例别出心裁,将发言人放在句末,突出了发言内容。
— Peaceful development a prerequisite for China’s modernization;
— Peaceful development natural choice for Chinese modernization;
— Peace, development China’s way to modernization;
—Peace,development the Chinese way to modernization
注:上例将“和平发展”处理为两个名词,正是当代世界的两大主题,非常独特而又不失原意。另外,标题翻译中常省略掉and,以逗号代替,以节省空间,以上两例也注意到了这个原则,翻得很好。

3. 个税申报为何公众率先官员断后?
注:“官员”有的译成officers,有的译成cadres,都不太好,常用的说法应为officials。“个税”也出现了两种译法:Private Income Tax和Individual Income Tax,应以前者为准,简称为PIT。
佳译举例:
— Why public before officials in income tax declaration?
—Why the public lead officials in income tax declaration?
注: the public是集合的概念,后面的动词形式不应该是单数形式,此例注意到了这一点,语法处理得很准确。
—Why the public outrun officials in PIT declaration
注: A outrun B是体育比赛等竞赛中常用的说法,表示A领先、超越B,并不适合用在这里,此例应该注意,换用别的说法。
— Why officials lag behind public in reporting/declaring income tax?
— Tax declaration: Why public first, officials second?

4.湖北数所高校领导腐败落马
落马:outsed/ sacked/ removed/ toppled
佳译举例:
—Corrupt Hubei university leaders down:
—Cadres in several Hubei universities dismissed for corruption;
注:应尽量避免使用cadre这样的词汇。
— Hubei university officials fired for corruption;
— Hubei college leaders down for corruption;
— Corruption downs university leaders in Hubei;
—Corruption spells doom for Hubei college leaders
注:“落马”还有一种处理方式:...the undoing of…,undoing是一种正式的说法,表示“造成某人毁灭或垮台的原因”。最后一例译文也可改为:Corruption the undoing of Hubei college leaders. 请注意,标题翻译中往往省略连词和系动词,此例中就把is省略掉了。

5.比尔•盖茨明起访华
多数人译法:Bill Gates to visit China tomorrow
佳译举例:
—Bill Gates to Visit China Tomorrow On
注:此例再次体现了省略原则,tomorrow on前省略掉了From。
— Bill Gates to start China visit tomorrow  

佳作共欣赏,疑义相与析(续二)
——凌原老师译文讲评
编辑注:在外研社编辑委员会主任、社长顾问凌原老师的主持下,外研社对编辑进行培训的“翻译沙龙”已经成功地举办了两次讲座。第一次讲座以中文新闻标题的英译为主,凌老师以实例为大家具体讲解了标题翻译的原则和技巧,并为大家留下作业。凌老师详细批改了每一份作业,并把优秀、别致、灵活的译文结集起来,在第二次讲座中做了讲评。
  翻译界学人众多,名家林立,风格各有不同。有人偏好理论,有人注重实践。凌老师带领大家走上的正是从大量具体的实践中磨练译笔的艰苦征程,不过在克服了翻译中或隐或显的文化障碍,把中文译成了流畅通达的英文之后,大家也分外体会到艰辛之后的欣喜和欣慰。
  以下是凌老师点评的讲稿,请大家对照自己的译文琢磨一下吧!


6.王金平透露拟访大陆谈“三通”
三通:three direct links or Three Links
注:台湾等地的华人姓名不用汉语拼音,用韦氏拼法(Wade-Giles)或特定的拼法,如Wang Chin-ping(王金平),Ma Ying-jeou(马英九),也有例外,如Lee Ao(李敖)。
原中文标题并未提及王金平的身份,有些译者在英文中给出了他的身份(Speaker of the Legislative Yuan of Taiwan; Taiwan’s top legislator),这种补译有助于外国读者了解情况,是很好的。
佳译举例:
— Wang lets out mainland visit plan for three links
注:* let out出自英语谚语let the cat out of the bag,是有趣的佳译。
— Wang discloses plan to visit mainland for three links;
— Wang reveals plan to visit mainland for three links;
— Wang intends to visit mainland, promote Three Links;
— Taiwan’s top legislator hints at mainland visit on Three Links

7.变性美女全球征男友
佳译举例:
— Male-to-female beauty seeks boyfriend globally;
— Trans-gendered beauty advertise globally for boy friend;
— Boyfriend globally wanted for transsexual beauty;
— Transsexual belle seeks boyfriend worldwide;
—Transsexual beauty goes global hunting for boyfriend
注:“变性”常译为trans-gendered或transsexual,例一别出心裁,是灵活的译法。“美女”处理成belle,也是佳译。
  标题翻译中不要出现副词,上例中就都避免了globally的用法;也尽量不要使用被动语态,尤其是不要出现by…的字样。

8.李敖称若台海危机爆发 台军仅能够支撑两天
注:“台海”即台湾海峡,有人译为Taiwan Strait,也有人译成Taiwan Straits。海峡应当为复数形式straits,因此在这个标题里产生cross-straits的说法。(为简便计,下面多数例子省略了“李敖称”。)
佳译举例:
— Lee Ao says Taiwan troops can only hold for two days in case of war;
— Taiwan can last 2 days if straits crisis breaks out:
— Taiwan troops to survive 2 days in cross-straits crisis;
— 2 days for Taiwan troops once cross-straits crisis arises;
— Taiwan troops likely to crumble in two days in cross-straits war

9.打击网络淫秽色情
多数译法:Fighting/ Combating/ Cracking down on online/ web/ Internet pornography
佳译举例:
— Crackdown on pornography on Internet
—Strong / Stern measures against online obscenity taken
注:最后一例中的taken位置改一下会更好些:Strong measures taken against online obscenity

10.黄金周购票难将缓解
难:stress/ headache/ jitters/ quandary/ anxiety…
佳译举例:
— Golden week ticket crisis likely to relieve;
— Golden Week ticket buying pressure to be mitigated;
— Ticket strain of Golden Week will be lessened;
— Golden week ticket rush to ease up;
—Golden Week ticket woes to be allayed
注:此例中的woes是佳译,形象地译出了“难”的内涵。

[ Last edited by laoxianggg at 2009-5-1 10:23 PM ]

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Post time 2009-5-1 22:15:52 |Display all floors
Originally posted by laoxianggg at 2009-5-1 22:11
佳作共欣赏,疑义相与析(含讲评、译文范例)
——翻译沙龙讲座集萃•第1辑
编辑注:本文是外研社对社内编辑进行培训的《翻译沙龙》活动中,外研社编辑委员会主任、社长顾问凌原老师给编辑们留的作业。如 ...

  

thanks for sharing ,lxgg.:)

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Post time 2009-5-1 22:17:13 |Display all floors

申报个税

先说说个税申报问题。

问题一:个税即个人所得税,是personal income tax,不是private income tax。与个人所得税对应的公司所得税是corporate income tax,而不是public income tax。

问题二:报税是to file a tax return,不是report/declare tax。申报收入是report/declare income,但报税是file a tax return。可以说在国内懂英语的人,包括专家教授在内,99%的人不知道tax return 是什么意思。国情所致,情有可原。

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Post time 2009-5-1 22:29:38 |Display all floors
Originally posted by laoxianggg at 2009-5-1 22:17
先说说个税申报问题。

问题一:个税即个人所得税,是personal income tax,不是private income tax。与个人所得税对应的公司所得税是corporate income tax,而不是public income tax。

问题二:报税是to fi ...


someone who gets Private income doesnt declare the private part

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Post time 2009-5-1 22:38:09 |Display all floors
凌原老师很牛哦,以前《中国文学》的CEO,钱钟书《围城》英译本后面杨绛的附记也是他翻的,很见功力。

Mr. Ling is an accomplished translator. He used to be the CEO of the now defunct Chinese Literature magazine. Incidentally, the excellently-delivered translation of the postscript to the Fortress Besiged by Qianzhongshu, writen by the author's wife Yang Jiang, was also out of his hand.

[ Last edited by linjian at 2009-5-1 10:45 PM ]
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Post time 2009-5-1 22:44:08 |Display all floors
Originally posted by laoxianggg at 5-1-2009 22:17
先说说个税申报问题。

问题一:个税即个人所得税,是personal income tax,不是private income tax。与个人所得税对应的公司所得税是corporate income tax,而不是public income tax。

问题二:报税是to fi ...


Even Homer nods. But for a serious translator, a pre-translation research is always required before translating something that is not in his expertise.
Burning Alone

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Post time 2009-5-1 22:45:22 |Display all floors
Hehe, that's another way of looking at it. You should change your ID to smart_elle.

Originally posted by smile_elle at 2009-5-1 22:29


someone who gets Private income doesnt declare the private part

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