Author: xilaren

is my sister justified [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2009-4-22 17:46:01 |Display all floors
Originally posted by vivian625 at 2009-4-22 16:14
don't keep it in your heart, i think, you'd better to tell your sister what's your feeling of being refused, you have complaint and sad of NO.
to keep warm relationship, contact and talk your hear ...


I know this is very bad what I am doing by not telling her my complaint.Keeping it in my heart creates a cold distance between me and her.A distance which she will never realise.
I really    love China,半个 中国 人

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Post time 2009-4-22 17:47:35 |Display all floors
Originally posted by huaqiao at 2009-4-22 15:54
I cannot get along with my siblings because we all have different personalities. Every time we meet to discuss anything, we end up quarelling and my brother would even want to fight with me. Yet, d ...

I have no fights with my sister.I have only one.
This time she surprised and schocked me a lot.
I really    love China,半个 中国 人

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Post time 2009-4-23 20:34:47 |Display all floors
Hi, xilaren.  That's sad.i know exactly how you feel. If i were you, i definitely  would have the same feelings as you. When i  love or care for  someone a lot,
i alsohope he/she will love me back, though i am pleased to do  for him/her even more than he/she does  for me . My requirement is simple: just tell me "i  can feel your love and care, and i love you too".  actually, you won't stay there and you were just hurt when you were turned down. perhaps you thought she didn't
love you at that moment, while you loved her so much. Maybe you are wrong, perhaps she was in bad mood or she just joked without thinking or whatever at that time. But you took it seriously and thought too much. She didn't mean it. She still loves you and you are her best and only sister. so why not tell her about
your feelings honestly, coz you are sisters ,and i am sure you can get along well with each other as before. if you keep it to yourself , gradually you will feel a
distance between you and her will be farther and farther.

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Post time 2009-4-24 07:53:37 |Display all floors
Originally posted by amylhz at 2009-4-23 20:34
Hi, xilaren.  That's sad.i know exactly how you feel. If i were you, i definitely  would have the same feelings as you. When i  love or care for  someone a lot,
i alsohope he/she will love me b ...



Dear amylhz I am happy to see that you understand me.You are a little mistaken now.You are right because I did not mention all the details.
What I have done for my sister and my husband  for many years I do not want to say and you can not imagine
.
She has stayed in my house when I was married while she was not for at least ten years.
I do not want to say details.

No she was not in a bad mood when she said that to me.She really meant it.
A few days ago she heard that I was trying to find a hotel and stay for five days in this island at a time when she would be in athens and her house would be closed andd she did not mention anything.

This is obvious ,she does not want to do it.I want to believe that she loves me.I take it for granted but not as much as I do.

Please do not get me wrong.I am an open person.Usually I compalin about things which make me angry.
I show her my anger and she does the same to me a lot of times and then after one hour we talk again as if nothing has happened.
So of course I show my anger to people .The only time I do not show my feelings is when I am hurt deeply.
What should I tell her .Can we oblige somebody to love us more than she can?Of course not.

Also if I tell her how much she has hurt me what will she do?She will be obliged to change her behaviour to me not because she wants to but because she will be obliged to.
Also I want to protect myself.If I start this conversation with her I won't be able to hold my tears which I hate to do it.
When I am angry I do not cry but when I am deeply hurt then I do and it is terrible for me.

She will be always my sister ,she has got problems ,I have the obligation to help her and be near her ,just as usual.Nothing is going to change.


I am not a demanding person ,I put limits to myself on my own ,the problem is not the key itself ,my problem is how she faces me.W
I really    love China,半个 中国 人

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