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Are You a Victim of Singlism at Work?(e-c)practice [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2009-4-7 00:00:24 |Display all floors
Are You a Victim of Singlism at Work?
你是不是职场单身主义的受害人?
By Single Edition (View Profile)
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How to Bust a Workplace Bully
如何战胜一位职场暴力者


At my last position in Corporate America, I was on the receiving end of a bully executive who was well entrenched with our CEO. This duplicitous “mean girl,” ironically a movie she always cited, victimized many with her vicious rumor-spreading, mockery, and verbal intimidation. With me, her point of attack was almost always aimed at my solo status. A salary increase was denied due to my “stylish wardrobe,” which she felt was lavishly excessive, so too was an office of my own and several bonus hikes, which my married peers with lesser degrees and profit margins all received.  

  在上一份公司打工的职位上,我是一位暴力执行官的承受方。此人和我们的CEO关系密切。这个两面派的”刻薄女孩“(具有讽刺意味的是,那是一部她经常提起的电影),已经用她恶毒的谣言、讽刺、口头威胁让许多人成为了她的受害者。对我,她的攻击点几乎每每是在我的单身情况上面。因为在她认为我的”时尚衣着“,我的提薪遭到拒绝,同样还有获得自己的一个办公室被拒绝,还有几次奖金,而我那些学历和利润率都较低的已婚同仁全都获得了。

Bella Depaulo, author of Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored and Still Live Happily Ever After, sees individuals who are targets of discrimination as victims of “singlism.” Almost every organization has a corporate bully, but individuals, especially the most accomplished and successful, are increasingly being mistreated by their superiors and peers in the workplace. According to the research we at SingleEdition uncovered, bullies tend to be fueled by envy and resentment, which is typically brought out by high performing, well-liked employees who possess strong values and integrity.

  《被单独出来:单身者如何被扣定型、被污蔑及被忽视同时永远快乐地生活着》一书的作者将那些被歧视目标定为个人的”单独主义”受害者。几乎每个企业都有一个企业暴力者,可是个人尤其那些最为成功、最有成绩的人越来越会在职场上被上级、同仁虐待。根据在SingleEdition 网站上发现的研究表明,暴力者通常是因为嫉妒和怨恨,而这些典型地由于表现优异,被受人们喜爱、价值观强、有人格的员工所引发。


So what can those who are being bullied do?
那么那些遭受暴力的人们能做什么?


1. Realize it is not your fault. Like most bullies, mine was ridiculing me to destroy my self confidence and to make other employees disrespect me. For a long time I convinced myself that I was being too sensitive. Once I recognized the behavior for what it was, I was able to relinquish all self-blame and stopped questioning my professional conduct (and wardrobe.)

1. 意识到这不是你的错。和多数暴力者一样,我的这位曾经嘲笑我来破坏我的自信心,让别的员工瞧不起我。很长时间,我对自己说服我太敏感。一旦我认识到这种行为其实的面目,我就立刻能放弃一切自责,停止质疑自己的职业行为(还有衣橱)2.

2. Confide in trusted co-worker(s). Keeping quiet about a bully’s behavior only makes it worse. After confiding in a few trusted co-workers, it became evident that I was not this mean girl’s sole victim. Turned out she was antagonizing many of the unmarried high-achieving women in the office. While we never pursued a formal complaint, we had enough evidence as a collective group to pursue legal redress.

2. 向可信的同事倾述。对暴力者行为保持沉默只会让它恶化。在和几位可信朋友倾述后,显然,我不是这个刻薄女孩的唯一受害者。结果她对办公室里许多未婚女强人都采取对抗。虽然我们并没有追述一个正式的投诉,我们有了足够的证据集体追述法律补救。

3. Make sure to keep a record. Lucky for me, a friend of mine who is an attorney instructed me to keep detailed notes. I logged everything in an electronic file at work and backed it up on my home computer, including a list of individuals who were witness to those events.

3. 确保做好记录。 对我来说幸运的是,我的一位律师朋友教导我做详细记录。我将一切都记在一份工作电子文档中,并在家中电脑上备份,其中包括目睹了那些事件的个人名单。

4. Don’t retaliate. Sure, there were moments when I wanted to tell her she resembled a troll (you heard it here first) and days where I considered sending a nasty gift to her attention to the office. Despite the strong urge, I refrained from striking back. Walking away with grace and style left my bully more defeated every time.

4.不要报复。当然,有的时候我像告诉她她像一个魔头(读者们你们是第一个了解到这的人)而且,有时候我想,在她注意下将一个肮脏礼物送进她的办公室。虽然有这种强烈的冲动,可是我克制了自己没有反击。优雅有风度地走开,让我的暴力者每次更加失败。

5. File a formal complaint. In most cases, the only way to stop workplace bullying is through a formal complaint. Wait until you have gathered enough evidence to show that you are being bullied before you make a complaint to your supervisor, boss, or human resources person. This will prevent the bully claiming that there has been a misunderstanding. Make your complaint in writing and keep a copy for yourself. Include all the records and other evidence that you have been collecting along with the names of any witnesses.

5. 正式投诉。大多数情况下,唯一阻止职场暴力的方法是通过正式投诉。在你收集到了足够证明表明你遭受暴力后再向你的上级、老板或人力进行投诉。这会预防施暴者宣称有误会。以书面的形式并保留一份副本。附上所有的记录及一直以来收集到的其它证据,以及任何目击人的名称。

As for me, this June marks the one-year anniversary since I resigned from my role at that company. Today I know for certain that I am living happily ever after and being compensated accordingly, which I know I cannot say about the former, supposedly happily married bully I left behind.

  至于我,这个六月标志者从公司辞去那个角色的一周年纪念日。如今,我完全知道了自己正将快乐地生活,并将相对应地获得报偿,对此,对那位应该有着快乐婚姻的前暴力者来说,我知道事情就不是像这样子了。


(the end)
source:realsimple
Happy 牛 Year~!

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Post time 2009-4-8 12:00:41 |Display all floors
"暴力者通常是因为嫉妒和怨恨,而这些典型地由于表现优异,被受人们喜爱、价值观强、有人格的员工所引发。"



这句话从中文的语法角度得好好得整理一下。

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Post time 2009-4-8 12:44:28 |Display all floors
Thank you for your reply :-)
Happy 牛 Year~!

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