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To tell the truth, I really think your English level is very good.
From your story ,I think you are a smart girl with outstanding personalities ,for example, you are rational and have your own judgement to the things happening around you , and you know what you need indeed ,believes hard work always making your goals come true.
But at the same time, you also find you never reach your goal if mention the word-Love,right ?
As time went on , you are afraid you will fail one day ,so you are always cautious about love .
My suggestion is ,firstly, take it easy ,do not close the door of your heart ,pls open your mind to the outside ,otherwise , no one would like to approach or pursue you ,right ?
Finally, pls forgive me if my words are not proper here .
Bless you with warm regards!