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搞笑英语 [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2009-3-5 11:23:50 |Display all floors
收集几则搞笑英语,放松一下。

       某次英文考试有两道题目:
  1)我穿上外套,却发现第一个扣子掉了。
  2)他听见电话铃响,就过去接了电话。
  正确答案应为:
  1)I put on my coat and found its first button was gone.
  2)As soon as he heard the phone ringing, he went to pick it up.
  但是某生的答案是:
  1)----!
  2)Hello?


  老师在黑板上写了一句:Time is money,并让同学们翻译。
  有名学生答道:“汤姆是玛丽。”


  小明上英文课时跟老师说:May I go to the toilet?
  老师说:Go ahead.
  小明就坐了下来。过了一会儿,小明又跟老师说:May I go to the toilet?
  老师说:Go ahead.
  小明又坐了下来。他旁边的同学于是忍不住问:你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗?怎么不去?
  小明说:你没听老师说「去你个头」啊!


  某日刘洪涛遇到外宾,上前搭话曰:I am hongtao liu.
  外宾曰:我他妈还是方片七呢!


  某江姓女官员会见外宾,要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻,不许走样。
  外宾一见到该女官员,立刻拍马屁道:"Miss Jiang, you are very beautiful."
  翻译照翻,该女官员心花怒放,嘴上还要谦虚一下:“哪里,哪里”。
  翻译不敢怠慢,把该女官员的话翻成英文:"Where? Where?"
  外宾一愣,还有这样的人,追问哪里漂亮的,干脆马屁拍到底:"Everywhere, everywhere."
  翻译:“你到处都很漂亮。”
  该女官员更高兴了,但总是要客气一下:“不见得,不见得”。
  翻译赶紧翻成英文:"You are not allowed to see, you are not allowed to see."


  一对热恋中的男女。女生非常没有安全感,于是对着男友说:“SAY ‘I LOVE YOU!!’SAY IT! SAY IT! SAY IT!”
  男的答道:“IT!”


  某人刻苦学习英语,终有小成。一日上街不慎与一老外相撞,
  忙说:I am sorry.
  老外应道:I am sorry too.
  某人听后又道:I am sorry three.
  老外不解,问:What are you sorry for?
  某人无奈,道:I am sorry five.


  某男,亦粗通英文,至使馆,有表要填,有一栏是:Sex,该男思之久已,毅然下笔:“Once a week”。
  签证官观后暴笑,曰:“This item should be filled in with male or female.”
  该男顿时赧颜,思之,填下“female”,官楞之,曰:“shouldn’t it be male?”
  男急释曰:“I am a normal man, so I have sex with female.


  上初一的时候,英语老师让我们读课文,恰好是一段对话,于是叫了一男一女两个同学来读。
  男:What time is it now?
  女:It's nine.
  男:Let's go to bed.
  女:We go to bed at nine.
  全班绝倒。


  一天,我准备坐车去学校,正在路上走着,一辆车快速从我面前穿过,并且撞到一位正在观光的日本人。当然情况很是吓人,路边的好心人立刻冲上前去问道:“How are you?”
  日本人上气不接下气的回答:“F..ine,th..ank you...and you?”
  围观的人顿时愣住。。。由此可知日本人的英文是死记硬背的!

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Post time 2009-3-5 11:49:27 |Display all floors
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Our greatest glory consists not in never falling, but rising every time we fall.

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Post time 2009-3-7 14:51:00 |Display all floors

hehe

老师在黑板上写了一句:Time is money,并让同学们翻译。
  有名学生答道:“汤姆是玛丽。”
here are a similar one

A:  are you kidding?   你是凯丁吗?    (你是开玩笑的吧)

B:  no, i am serious.    不,我是塞尔利斯.  (不,我是认真的)

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Post time 2009-3-8 14:42:42 |Display all floors

What happened in my class...

One day Justin hit Stephanie and made her sad.I asked Justin to apologize to Stephanie at once.Justin said,"I'm sorry."Do you know what Stephanie replied? Her asnwer made me laugh though I knew I shouldn't have done this.She said,"You're welcome."

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Post time 2009-3-18 00:07:36 |Display all floors
funny

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Post time 2009-3-29 00:11:14 |Display all floors

funny

funny girl,funny story,thank you!

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Post time 2009-3-29 08:29:44 |Display all floors
joking!
The secret of success is constancy of purpose.  

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