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There are a lot of people coming to China, most for a short trip, some staying longer to study. How should they prepare for a culture possibly wildly different from their own? Here is someone from America giving some suggestion... I found it one day on www.chinesesavvy.comwww.chinesesavvy.com... Wondering how you find this and what suggestion you'd give...|
"Time and time again, I've seen young western guys come here, start hitting the bar and nightlife scene and within three months have a girlfriend that practically lives with the guy. Now, I'm not saying "don't" fall in love with a Chinese girl, hell, I did and it's wonderful. What I am saying is don't do it too quickly before you even know how to order food by yourself.
In general, except for one night stands, a typical American guy has to go through a lot just to win over a girl's attention. That's why there are so many comedies in Hollywood about dating, it's just not easy. Then he comes to China and it can be overwhelming for the guy as to how much attention he may get without even trying. Next thing you know, he's got a girlfriend and he's just stunted his growth in learning about this culture because know he's confused about the complexities of his new situation... trying to understand his girlfriend.
Maybe she speaks English fairly well... well, it'll make it that much more difficult to learn about Chinese culture. You can't study the culture from a book or from one person... you've got to eat and breathe and live it everyday for quite some time before you can even get a handle on it... in my humble opinion. At first glance, the differences in culture may not look huge but once you start to understand the language more and more, you realize, there's a lot to learn because it is in fact rather huge.
And Chinese women, they may be shy about some things but I've seen a lot of aggressive Chinese women. When they want something, they go for it. I love that about them but if a new guy doesn't understand it, he'll just follow the first lead he gets just because it seems fun and then he'll realize it's a bit more serious than that and he still can't order food by himself.
My advice for the semester guy is make as many friends as possible but if you really want to learn some culture, go by yourself to places and make new friends who can't speak English and learn the hard way.
...Hoped that answered your question Marlene... I couldn't think of an easy way to answer it... as for falling in love with China, I do... I think it's hard not to..."