Author: xilaren

SHould we sacrifice a life in order to make people happy? [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2008-5-15 15:27:07 |Display all floors
Originally posted by xilaren at 2008-5-15 04:05
These days I have been in serious thoughts about what a stupid way of life I have been  having..

From my early childhood  I carried the obligation to make my mother happy and accomplish her own  ...

Your mother is a good mother and you will be a good mother too because you have inheritted your mother's moral sense and principle attitude.

Life is life itself no sacrifice something for another:):)

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Post time 2008-5-15 15:43:15 |Display all floors
Originally posted by seneca at 2008-5-15 12:24


Not necessarily true. No one knows better than yourself how to make you happy; happiness is rare in a human beings life and is alternating with other forms of bliss and downright unhappiness. Y ...



You have understood very well what I mean.It is tue that I was brought up in a very traditional family and I can say that I am happy about it because this is the way I also raised my children.
I never though did them what my mother has done to me.
It is such a heavy burden for a small child to carry the obligation to accomplish his mother's personal dreams.
It is not only that .In order to succeed this ,she tried to make me feel the obligation to take care of the others only sacrificing my life .
And me I did it.I learned to be pleasant to people even if I did not want to.I have learned not to say no.
I want to have free will.I have morals and principles and I put limits on myself on my own  and not because I have to be pleasant to the neighbours ,to my relatives etc.
When my mother died I thanked God because he made my dream true and do you know what my dream was?It was to make my mother happy and make her dreams true.
Oh yes I am proud of making my mother happy.That was the most difficult success.
Somebody may ask me what would happen if I did not behave according to her dreams.
The answer is simple.I would feel so many guilt feelings which they would kill me.
Come on ,she declared me tobe two years older in order to get a pension earlier with the result to go to school two years earlier and find school lessons so difficult .
This is the truth I learned only some years ago.Do you know anybody who is not sure about his exact year of his birth ?I do not know if I have to laugh or cry about it.I really do not know.The only thing I know is that I am really angry .
I really    love China,半个 中国 人

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Post time 2008-5-15 16:08:28 |Display all floors
I  I am happy to see my nephew grow up ,
  :   I am sad to see my brother unhappy

I know how to love myself

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Post time 2008-5-15 16:23:58 |Display all floors
Originally posted by olivita at 2008-5-15 16:08
I  I am happy to see my nephew grow up ,
  :   I am sad to see my brother unhappy

I know how to love myself

  Congratulations.This is a fair treatment.Everybody incuding yourself gets what it deserves:handshake:handshake
I really    love China,半个 中国 人

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Post time 2008-5-15 16:39:58 |Display all floors

What am I doing now?

Thousands of people have lost their life ,their children ,their relatives ,friends ,property and I dare to talk about my personal situations.I need to shut up immediately.
My heart and though  should be only  in China now.
I really    love China,半个 中国 人

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Post time 2008-5-15 22:51:57 |Display all floors
Originally posted by xilaren at 2008-5-15 06:33



I will answer all your questions one by one.
I can not continue making people happy without making myself.No way.That part of myself has died  for ever.

Doing only myself happy ignoring a ...



I am delighted that you have taken the first step...as you know by now...I believe in moderation...naturally I also believe that it is ok or even healthy to be selfish from time to time...really depends on circumstances...nevertheless, it is an individual's decision!...when the balance is upset between giving too much and receiving too little...changes have to be made to facilitate a new point of balance in life.

For some people...making changes is like second nature...however, for others...it can be a very difficult task!

I am happy for you that you have reached the level of awareness that prompted you to take concrete action(s)...congratulations!

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Post time 2008-5-15 23:19:19 |Display all floors
Originally posted by thunderbird at 2008-5-15 22:51



I am delighted that you have taken the first step...as you know by now...I believe in moderation...naturally I also believe that it is ok or even healthy to be selfish from time to time...rea ...

Thank you very much for encouraging me.I have a  very friend  who supports  and encourages me.
she is also pushing me to action.Things that sounded reasonable for others for me had been forbidden for a long time.The big change for me is that I am not available all the time anymore.Only when I want and when it is necessary.
This is a big change.
I really    love China,半个 中国 人

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