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Today, My mother and I had a quarrel about my work.
As I still had a busy day today, so I told her that I was hectic and tired today backing home.
All I want is just some comfort, or some carefully words which would let me feel better, but my mother just said, she didn't believe that, it couldn't any important thing in my work and, it is sure I could find some time to have a rest.
As now my work is statistics, and it always very urgent to report to my boss, so I must finish my work before the deadline. It is true that I could leave my work away and have a rest, but it is not my habit to let the work apart and rest first, I like to finish my work first and rest in the left time. So my mother said it is all my fault that I couldn't rest.
I'm very sad to hear that because I don't think it is a fault that I couldn't rest, I just want to get some comfort from her, but it seems like a wander which never could come true. She just take it as granted. Now I even don't know what I could talk with her to get a good reply.
I'm just a women who isn't as strong as man, I don't know why she could search comfort from us but I couldn't get the same thing from her. She always said I'm too old to find a guy to marry, what she want is my left from home. I don't want to marry someone just because of marriage or spending the rest of my life or a baby, I want to be together with someone who is truly in love with me, or else I'd rather spend all my life on my own. May be I'll feel lonely in the future, but now I don't want to marry with someone whom I don't love even don't like.
I'm a homebody. Although I could rent a flat by myself, I don't like a dark home when I back home, I'd rather live with my parents.
It is paradox that I hate loneliness and I don't want to be married soon. I don't reject marriage, but I reject marriage because of loneliness.
What I should do? I don't know what I could do.