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Fear of free time(e-c)practice [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2008-3-18 11:23:03 |Display all floors
FEAR OF FREE TIME
恐闲症
By Martha Beck


We want it, crave it, dream about it. But when life hands us a few empty hours, we squirm, wriggle, dodge, and feel unaccountably lazy. Martha Beck shows us how to find something in nothing and love it.

  我们希望、渴望、梦见它。但当生活给了我们几小时,我们就局促不安、挣扎、躲避、感到自己无可名状地“懒惰”。 Martha Beck将教导我们如何从“无事"中找出并去热爱某样东西。

My observation of people in general is that we desperately want to take a break from our hectic, overscheduled lives—but not right now. Empty time is a powerful medicine that can make us more joyful and resilient, but it's strangely hard to swallow. In our culture, the very word empty has negative connotations: loss, need, desolation, hopelessness. Our ambivalence toward doing nothing creates what psychologists call an approach-avoidance response: We yearn for a powerful source of liberation that is right under our noses, and we'll do almost anything to avoid it.

  我对人们的总体观察是人们渴望在忙碌过多事务安排的生活中稍事休息--但是,那却不是马上发生。空闲是能让我们更快乐、重新回复精力的一门猛药。但它却又难咽地出奇。 在我们的文化中,”空“字有负面含义:失去、需要、荒废、无希望。在对待"什么都不做"的矛盾心理中人们产生出了被心理学家称之为靠近-躲避反应:渴求眼前出现一个强大解脱来源而几乎又会做任何事去避免它。


[ Last edited by hly_2009 at 2008-3-18 11:27 AM ]

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Post time 2008-3-18 11:23:37 |Display all floors
Doing Everything, Accomplishing Nothing
什么都做,什么都做不了

The result of this unconscious psychological arm wrestling is that we fritter away our lives. We don't do the things that would bring our dreams to fruition, but we don't embrace emptiness, either. Instead, we play a hundred games of computer solitaire or stay on the phone with anyone just to fill the time.

  这一无意识的”心理扳手腕“行为的结果是我们浪费了生活。我们即没有做那些给我们梦想带来成果的事且连那中”空闲“状态也没有拥抱接受而只是为去填补时间在电脑前玩几百盘扑克游戏或和某人打电话聊天。

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Post time 2008-3-18 11:23:56 |Display all floors
Why We Don't Empty Our Time
为什么不把时间“清空”


Generally speaking, a packed schedule is seen as the sign of a happenin' life; empty time is for losers. Part of the reason is our culture: According to the Western perspective, filling every moment with "value added" activities is a sign of virtue and significance. There's an even deeper reason we may avoid empty time: For us, it isn't really empty. It's full of demons—grief, rage, anxiety, guilt, regret. Personal experience tells me that never emptying our time is like never emptying our garbage cans, our bladders, or our digestive tracts. Do those images disgust you? Good. I want them to. The archetype of the virtuously overbusy person is so ingrained in our societal mind-set that it takes strong language to knock it loose.

  一般而言塞得慢慢的日程安排表被人们看做是"现在进行时“生活的象征--空闲是对失败者而言。部分的原因在于我们的文化:据西方看问题的角度,将每个时刻用”增值“活动填塞是一种反映美德和重要性的迹象。而且避免空闲还有更深的原因:对我们来讲,空闲中并非是空地什么都没有而是装满了“魔鬼”--悲痛、愤怒、焦虑、内疚、后悔。根据我的个人体验从来不把时间清空的做法就像是从来不倒空垃圾桶、不将膀胱或消化肠道清空一样。 这些情景会让你作呕吗?很好,我希望会能。在我们社会性思维中,善良而过于忙碌的人这一原型是根深蒂固所以要用强烈的言辞来让它松动。


[ Last edited by hly_2009 at 2008-3-18 11:49 AM ]

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Post time 2008-3-18 11:24:29 |Display all floors
Signs of Empty-Time Deficiency Syndrome
空闲时间不足综合症迹象
By Martha Beck


Vile though the image is, I truly believe that constipation is the most accurate metaphor for perpetual overscheduling. The more we fill our time with tasks that aren't real requirements of our best lives, the more blocked and uncomfortable we feel. If you have three or more of the following symptoms, you probably need to, um, flush:

   虽然情景绝对令人不快,但是我真地认为要描述永久过多安排事务时间最为准确的比喻就是便秘了。我们用不是真正完美生活所需进行的任务来填塞我们的时间越多就越感觉到“堵塞”和“不舒服”。 如果你有以下三种症状,大概你需要..呃..需要脸红了:

1.        Irritability, feeling "frayed"易怒、感觉“磨损”
2.        Boredom (oddly enough)无聊(这一条说来也奇怪)
3.        Feeling disconnected even when in the company of others就算和交际时也有“脱离”感
4.        Being unable to unwind at night or on vacation晚上或度假时不能放松自己
5.        A sense of not being, having, or doing enough感觉担当、拥有、或进行地不够

Clients who have these symptoms always tell me they "need to do something about it." The truth is, they need to do nothing about it. To heal, they need to empty some time, then feel whatever arises. As these feelings are consciously experienced (a process that allows them to teach us necessary lessons), they go away.

  出现以上症状的客户常对我说他们“需要为此采取某个行动'但其实他们需要的是”什么也不做“。 要获得治疗,他们需要把一些时间清空,然后去感受任何出现的感觉。当感觉被有意识地体验(允许感受教给我们必要课程的一个过程),那么它们就会消除。

One caveat: Some emotions can't be off-loaded without being told to at least one compassionate witness. If you can't handle empty time, find someone—a friend, relative, professional—who can hear about your pain. Then feel it, express it, and watch it disappear. It will. No matter how frightening your demons may seem, their goal is never to hurt you. They only, always, want to leave.

  注意:有些感情在没有被告知给至少一位有同情心的目击者之前无法被”解脱“。如果你无法处理空闲时间,那么去找别人--朋友、亲戚、专家--那些能听取你痛苦的人。 然后,感受它、表达它并观察它消失。 它一定会。不论这些恶魔看上去多么令人恐惧,它们的目标绝对不是要伤害而只不过希望离开你。


[ Last edited by hly_2009 at 2008-3-18 11:52 AM ]

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Post time 2008-3-18 11:25:06 |Display all floors
How to Get Empty Time
如何把时间清空


By Martha Beck

There are three key words when it comes to getting empty time: prioritizing, protecting, and promise keeping.

  在将时间清空方面有三个关键词:优先化、保护、履行承诺


Prioritizing
优先化


Try this exercise: First contemplate the to-do list you're carrying in your head or your planner this very day. Now imagine that you're reading the list many years from now, moments before your own (peaceful) death. Which of the items on the list will you be glad you did? Which will mean nothing? If nothing on today's schedule offers soulful nourishment, write in some empty time. Add just a few minutes of nothing to your daily schedule, and empty time will begin to work its magic. It will reconnect you with your core self, the source of pure joy you felt in your sweetest memories. Soon the restorative power of empty time will become self-evident and you'll make it a high priority for the same reason you make breathing a high priority: It keeps you alive.

  请试这个练习: 首先,在心中考虑”待办事物清单“或当天计划。 然后,现在想象一下自己是在许多年以后在你(安详)死去之前,正在阅读这张清单。那么,你会对做过哪件事感到高兴? 哪些将会毫无意义?如果今天的这份日常安排表上没有任何事物能为你提供心灵滋养,那么就加入一些空闲时间。在每天日程表上添加几分钟”空闲“时间,空闲时间就将发挥它的神奇作用,把你同你的核心自我--最甜蜜记忆中的纯粹快乐源泉--联系起来。不久,它具备的恢复力量将会不言而喻,你将会把它也赋予高优先级;原因和就和在对待呼吸的优先级别一样:它能让你活着。


Protecting
保护


In our obsessively busy society, you may be hard-pressed to convince family and acquaintances you need empty time. My advice is, don't bother. Just excuse yourself, firmly, unapologetically, with minimum information. Say, "I'm sorry, I have an appointment at that time" or "Nope, I'm booked" or "I need 15 minutes alone." I've gotten excellent results with these simple, straightforward statements. Memorize them (or write your own versions), and practice saying them out loud. They'll roll off your tongue more easily in real-life situations.

  在我们太繁忙的社会中,也许你很难说服家人和熟人你需要空闲时间。 我的建议是,别麻烦了。只要不带着道歉态度地坚定地用最少量信息为自己找托辞。说:“抱歉,那时我有个约会”或“不,我有预约” 或“我需要15分钟独处” 我已经忘记了这些虽然简单但直接的话语会带来多么好的效果。 记住它们(或者写出你自己的版本)并练习大声说出。那么在真实场合下它们就会脱口而出了。


Promise keeping
履行承诺


Once you've given empty time its rightful priority and practiced protecting your boundaries, make a daily, ten-minute appointment with empty time. Give your core self this brief period of attention, and it will connect you with your real thoughts and feelings, your passion and purpose, the life you are supposed to live—but only if you keep your promise! Finding yourself doesn't require that you fly to T ibet, join a convent, or build a meditation room. Just consistently keep a minimal commitment to empty time.

  一旦把适当的优先级别赋予给空闲时间并练习来保护你的”边界“后那么每天用十分钟和空闲时间的约会。给核心自我这一短暂时期的注意力它就会让你同真实感受、想法、激情、使命、应该去过的生活都联系上--当然这仅当在你履行诺言的条件下了! 寻找自我不需要你去西藏,参加修道院、或建一间冥思房而只要对空闲时间一贯来付出少量的认真。

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Post time 2008-3-18 11:26:38 |Display all floors
How to Get Empty Time
如何把时间清空

By Martha Beck

There are three key words when it comes to getting empty time: prioritizing, protecting, and promise keeping.

  在将时间清空方面有三个关键词:优先化、保护、履行承诺


Prioritizing
优先化


Try this exercise: First contemplate the to-do list you're carrying in your head or your planner this very day. Now imagine that you're reading the list many years from now, moments before your own (peaceful) death. Which of the items on the list will you be glad you did? Which will mean nothing? If nothing on today's schedule offers soulful nourishment, write in some empty time. Add just a few minutes of nothing to your daily schedule, and empty time will begin to work its magic. It will reconnect you with your core self, the source of pure joy you felt in your sweetest memories. Soon the restorative power of empty time will become self-evident and you'll make it a high priority for the same reason you make breathing a high priority: It keeps you alive.

  请试这个练习: 首先,在心中考虑”待办事物清单“或当天计划。 然后现在想象自己是在许多年以后在你(安详)的死去之前正阅读这张清单那么你会对哪件做过的事感到高兴对哪些感到毫无意义?如果今天这份日常安排表上没有任何事物能为你提供心灵滋养那么就加入一些空闲时间。在每天日程表上添加几分钟”空闲“时间那么空闲时间就将发挥它的神奇作用把你同你的核心自我--最甜蜜记忆中的纯粹快乐源泉--联系起来。不久它具备的恢复力量将会不言而喻而你也将会把它赋予高优先级:原因和在你在对待呼吸的优先级别一样---是它让你活着。


Protecting
保护


In our obsessively busy society, you may be hard-pressed to convince family and acquaintances you need empty time. My advice is, don't bother. Just excuse yourself, firmly, unapologetically, with minimum information. Say, "I'm sorry, I have an appointment at that time" or "Nope, I'm booked" or "I need 15 minutes alone." I've gotten excellent results with these simple, straightforward statements. Memorize them (or write your own versions), and practice saying them out loud. They'll roll off your tongue more easily in real-life situations.

  在我们太繁忙的社会中也许你很难说服家人和熟人你需要空闲时间。 我的建议是,别麻烦了。只要不带着道歉态度地坚定地用最少量信息为自己找托辞。说:“抱歉,那时我有个约会”或“不,我有预约” 或“我需要15分钟独处” 我已经忘记了这些虽然简单但直接的话语会带来多么好的效果。 记住它们(或者写出你自己的版本)并练习大声说出。那么在真实场合下它们就会脱口而出了。


Promise keeping
履行承诺


Once you've given empty time its rightful priority and practiced protecting your boundaries, make a daily, ten-minute appointment with empty time. Give your core self this brief period of attention, and it will connect you with your real thoughts and feelings, your passion and purpose, the life you are supposed to live—but only if you keep your promise! Finding yourself doesn't require that you fly to .., join a convent, or build a meditation room. Just consistently keep a minimal commitment to empty time.

  一旦把适当的优先级别赋予给空闲时间并练习来保护你的”边界“后那么每天用十分钟和空闲时间的约会。给核心自我这一短暂时期的注意力它就会让你同真实感受、想法、激情、使命、应该去过的生活都联系上--当然这仅当在你履行诺言的条件下了! 寻找自我不需要你去..,参加修道院、或建一间冥思房而只要对空闲时间一贯来付出少量的认真。


[ Last edited by hly_2009 at 2008-3-18 11:55 AM ]

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Post time 2008-3-18 11:27:15 |Display all floors
Got a Minute? Ideas for Unexpected Free Time
有点空闲? 对预料之外的空闲时间的点子


By Martha Beck

When we're not prepared to use empty time, finding ourselves in the midst of it is frustrating and boring. Here are some ideas that can turn unexpected free time into treasure rather than trash. —M.B.

  在没有准备如何使用空闲时间时就会发现我们处于其中时感到沮丧而无聊。 以下是能将预料之外的空闲时间变为财富时间而不是垃圾时间的一些点子。

If you have one minute: Go limp. Settle into the most comfortable position possible. Inhale deeply, hold your breath a second or two, then relax your body as you exhale. Your body will repay the gift of oxygen and relaxation by becoming calmer and more energetic.

  如果你有一分钟:放松。 进入最舒适的姿势。 深呼吸,屏住呼吸一两秒,然后在呼气的时候放松身体。 你的身体将会以更镇定、精力增加的方式来回报氧气和放松。

If you have five minutes: Forget everything. Jot down a quick to-do list, and let it be your "task memory" so you can let your mind roam free. Patiently and nonjudgmentally, watch where your mind goes, what it says. Then go back to your to-do list. You'll find that you feel as if you've had a brief but refreshing vacation.

  如果你有五分钟:忘记所有事情。 把立即想到的待办事物草草地写下,让清单成为你的”任务记忆体“,你的大脑从而能自由畅游。 耐心而不带评价地观察你的思维去向何处,它在说什么。再回到那张待办事物单上时就发现自己似乎经历了一次短暂却让人重新精神充沛的度假。

If you have an hour: Find a reason to laugh. If you're too stressed or sad to laugh, let yourself cry. Both behaviors release physical and emotional tension, connecting your mind, body, and circumstances.

  如果你有一小时:找个大笑的理由。 如果因为过于有压力或悲伤而无法大笑,就让自己大哭。 两种行为都能释放身体或情感上的紧张,把你的思维、身体和环境联系起来。

If you have a free afternoon: Disappear. There will be time later for doing; this afternoon is for being. Roam your favorite places. Drink in all the beauty you find. Tell no one.

  如果你有一个下午的时间:消失。 做事情以后会有时间;这个下午是”成为自己“的时间。 去最喜爱的地方、让一切的美丽尽收眼帘。 谁也别告诉。

If you have a whole day: Live it on purpose. Start by reminding yourself what you want your life to mean. Take one small step in the service of your purpose. Then give yourself a gift. This will remind you that receiving and giving are inseparable and put you in the zone where you simultaneously forget your ego and remember who you really are.

  如果你有一整天的时间: 有意地度过。 开始先提醒自己你希望你的人生有何意义。 那么朝这个目标上迈出一小步。然后,给自己一份礼物。 这会提醒你获得和给与是不可分割的并将你带入"忘我"和"记起真我"两者同时发生的地方。

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