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How to Avoid Death From Stupidity(e-c)practice [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2008-3-14 14:17:09 |Display all floors
How to Avoid Death From Stupidity
如何不“笨”死

By eHow Culture & Society Editor


Death comes to all of us in the end. There's no way of getting out of it. There may not be much choice in how it happens, but there are ways to avoid the most embarrassing and unnecessary deaths that plague modern civilization. Death from stupidity is an avoidable demise. A little common sense and a few good choices can ensure whatever the final performance entails, it will not end up in a late night comedy sketch or on the front of the local newspaper. Below are just a few ways to avoid death from stupidity.

  死亡会降临我们每个人;它对所有人来说最终在所难免。也许它如何来到上我们没有太多选择,但是,要避免充斥着现代文明中最蒙羞的不必要的死亡上存在着一些方法。

  ”笨“死是一种可避免的死亡 。一点常识加一些明智选择就能确保不论最终怎么结束,都不会是在看晚间喜剧节目或在本地报纸面前结束生命。 下面仅列举出一些避免笨死的方法:

Difficulty: Easy
困难程度:一星级

Step 1:
步骤一:

Learn how to drive properly. Talking on your cell phone, not wearing a seatbelt, and drinking and driving are not in the official driver's manual. Not using your common sense when driving the equivalent of a ticking time bomb is a stupid way to die.


学会正确驾驶。 开车打手机、不系安全带,酒后驾车这些都是违章的。 开车时候不用常识、如同驾驶“一颗滴答响的定时炸弹”就是一个愚蠢的死亡方法。

Step 2:
步骤二:

Observe signs and symbols. "High voltage" "hazardous waste" and "do not feed the lions" are signs that should be heeded by everybody all of the time. Dying under a sign that says "warning danger of death" is not only stupid, it's embarrassing.

看标记。 “高压” “危险垃圾”“不要喂狮子” 这些都是应该每时每刻被每个人留意的标记。 死在“有死亡危险”的标记下不但笨而且是一件丢脸的事情。

Step 3:
步骤三:

Show a healthy respect for Mother Nature. Wild animals and extreme weather hold a higher place on the planet's hierarchy than humans. Antagonizing a bear with a chocolate chip cookie or ballet dancing on the beach during a tsunami is a stupid way to die.

对大自然保持尊重。 野生动物和极端天气在地球上的“排位顺序”比人类要高。 用巧克力饼干激怒一只熊或在海啸时的海滩上跳芭蕾是一个愚蠢的死亡方法。

Step 4:
步骤四:

Listen to those who seem crazy. If some wild looking person runs past you screaming "bomb" "gun" "they're coming" or simply "run," you should probably take their advice and head in the same direction. If you see a large group of animals running together frantically out of the forest or across an intersection in the middle of morning rush hour, you should probably follow them as well.

听那些”惊慌“人们的话。如果一个面容失控的人从你旁边跑过叫着:”炸弹”、“枪” “他们(/它们)来了”或仅仅是”快跑“, 大概你就该听取建议朝同样方向跑。如果你见到一大群动物疯狂地从丛林中跑出来,或者在上午上班高峰期间穿过交叉路口,也许你也要跟着它们一起跑了。

Step 5:
步骤五:

Realize that eating a healthy diet and getting regular exercise is not a suggestion or a fashion trend. Smoking, drinking too much alcohol, and living on a diet of fatty greasy foods has only one outcome. Having your bloated corpse discovered half way through the consumption of your 14th doughnut of the morning is a stupid way to die.

了解健康饮食、常常锻炼不是建议或潮流;吸烟、多量饮酒、经常吃油腻食物只有一个结果。 你膨胀的尸体被发现时正是那天早晨在第14块圈饼吃到一半是一个愚蠢的死亡方法。

Step 6:
步骤六:

Look where you are going and remember that if it looks like it will break, it probably will. "I think it will hold me" is your first indication that crossing that rickety bridge on your hiking trip in the middle of nowhere is not a good idea. Always knowing what's beneath your feet is a simple yet practical way to maintain your oxygen intake.

注意脚下,记住,如果看上去会断,那么大概就会断。”我想它能承受得住我“是你在荒郊野外徒步旅行中穿过那座摇摆的桥表明那并不是一个好主意的第一征兆。 知道脚下是什么是一个简单但实际的保持你还能呼吸的方法。

Step 7:
步骤七:

Understand that really, there are no stupid people. There are just stupid decisions. Dying because you couldn't be bothered to read an article that explained how to avoid death from stupidity is a pretty stupid way to die.

(注:全文都不错唯有这一条太恶心了,决定不翻译)


[ Last edited by hly_2009 at 2008-3-14 02:20 PM ]

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