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Are You as Old as You Feel?(e-c)practice [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2008-3-6 23:15:33 |Display all floors
Are You as Old as You Feel?

By Martha Beck

Feeling older than your years? Younger than your years? Martha Beck has a bit of age-defying wizardry to help you rise (even soar) above time.

  感觉人未老心已老?  或者,像个大孩子? Martha Beck给出了她一点"还老还童"法,来让你凌驾甚至高耸于时间之上.

I feel about aging the way William Saroyan said he felt about death: Everybody has to do it, but I always believed an exception would be made in my case. I suspect you and I are alike that way. I've never met anyone whose "felt age" followed the same steady progression as her calendar age. Children who assume adult responsibilities (worrying about money, protecting siblings) feel old when they're young. Adults under threat feel like children. Almost all my middle-aged and elderly acquaintances, including me, feel about 25, unless we haven't had our coffee, in which case we feel 107.

  我对衰老的看法和威廉·萨洛扬(William Saroyan)对死亡的感觉一样---每个人都要经历但是我总认为到我这里会是一个例外.  我估计大家和我在衰老中都一样. 我从未见过一个人的"心龄"(或"感受年龄")会和身体年龄一样地稳步发展. 那些担当了成人责任的儿童(对金钱担心,要保护弟弟妹妹)当在年轻的时候感觉很老. 那些在威胁中的成年人感觉像个孩子. 在我认识所有中年人和老年人---包括自己在内--中,几乎人人都感觉自己是25岁--除非在没喝咖啡时---那时我们感觉自己是107岁.

The difference between calendar age and felt age is particularly drastic for us First World, 21st-century folk. In cultures without the medical and labor-saving technologies we enjoy, many 35-year-olds look as withered as most North Americans do at 70. In one century, we've added 28 years to our average life span—a change so rapid that our brains couldn't possibly have evolved to accommodate it. Perhaps this is why, starting in middle age, many people report feeling about 15 years younger than they are. As calendar age plods inexorably forward, felt age zips around like a hummingbird, hovering around certain time periods, zooming right past others, changing direction just when we get a bead on it. We virtually never feel our age, but thinking that we should can lead to disaster.

  对于我们这些21世纪在"第一世界"的人们来说,生辰年龄和感受年龄(或心龄)两者区别尤为巨大. 在没有医疗,没有节省劳动力的科技,这些我们正享用的东西的文化中,许多35岁的人们看上去就如同在北美70岁的人一样地衰老.在一个世纪里,我们的平均寿命提高了28年 --这样的改变是如此巨大以至于我们的大脑根本没有可能进化到适应它的地步. 也许这就是为何当从中年开始, 很多人都称自己比实际要年轻15岁的原因吧. 随着生辰年龄迈着它沉重的步伐无情地向前,感受年龄就如同一只蜂雀嗡嗡地在周围飞着;悬浮于某个特定的时间段,完全越过其它的阶段;只有当我们将它瞄准的时候才会转向. 基本上人们从来都不会对自己的年龄有感觉,但是,在考虑自己应该去感觉时,就可能带来严重的后果.

[ Last edited by hly_2009 at 2008-3-6 11:27 PM ]

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Post time 2008-3-6 23:16:36 |Display all floors

Get Past the Pain

A corollary to the idea that your felt age might not match up with your calendar age is that you aren't confined to one chronological designation. If your ever-young psyche refuses to accept the fact of physical aging, or if you've resigned yourself to a miserable accumulation of physiological and psychological pain, I suggest trying a particular kind of manipulation: felt age time travel.


Get Past the Pain

By performing a few wizardlike quantum leaps—pretending that your felt age is years or even decades older or younger—you can visit different life stages, culling what is best from each. Here are some of my most useful era-hopping practices.


Exercise one:

Get past the pain. Hint from Sigmund: Whenever you're overwhelmed by a strong negative emotion, your felt age is probably that of a child. The next time you're anguished, enraged, or terrified, ask yourself, "How old do I feel?" Let a number pop up. This is the felt age of your suffering self. It's important not to demand that others coddle you like a 2-year-old, though this is what most of us unconsciously expect when we're in the throes of emotional age regression. Instead, use the resources you have now (friends, literacy, a driver's license) to comfort the hurting kid inside you. Become very young for a few minutes, and the child you were will tell you what she needs.

  越过痛苦. 提示:不论何时当你被一种强烈的消极情绪所吞没,你的感受年龄大概是一个孩子的年龄. 下一次,当你痛苦,愤怒,或害怕的时候,问一问自己"我感觉自己有大?" 给出一个数字. 这就是你受折磨的"自我"的感受年龄. 重要的是,不要去要求别人像对待2岁小孩一样去哄你,不过,当我们在情感年龄退化的痛苦中,多数人会无意识这么做. 相反,利用你现在用有的资源(朋友,读写能力,拥有的驾照)来安抚你内心中那位痛苦小孩. 花几分钟,让自己"变得'非常年幼, 那么,作为过去的你的这个小孩就会告诉你她/他需要什么.

[ Last edited by hly_2009 at 2008-3-6 11:32 PM ]

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Post time 2008-3-6 23:17:29 |Display all floors
Go Back for the Good Stuff

Caring for your inner child has a powerful and surprisingly quick result: Do it and the child heals. Then you'll find that feeling young can be an absolute delight, full of wonder, curiosity, and joy.

  照顾你内心的小孩会产生一个很有力而快地令人惊讶的效果: 照顾后马上他/她就能好起来. 然后,你会发现感觉年轻是一种非常愉快,充满奇妙,好奇感和快乐的事.

Go Back for the Good Stuff

I find one of the best ways to visit my own child self is through laughter. It is reported that the average adult laughs 15 times a day; the average child, more than 400 times. I think the felt age of someone who's laughing out loud is always brand-new. Mind you, I'm not talking about the nasty Styrofoam laughter people produce at business meetings. I mean the irrepressible hilarity that arises when we're genuinely tickled, physically or mentally.

  我发现要探访童年自我最好的方法就是通过笑声. 据报道,每天成年人平均笑15次;而儿童平均超过400次. 我想在放声大笑中的某个人的感受年龄肯定是一个崭新的. 提醒一下,这里不说开会时那种令人厌恶的"泡沫般'的笑声.而是那种不可抑制的欢喜;那是当我们真正在身体或心理上被"挠了一下"时发出的笑声.

Exercise two:

Scout your environment for things that spark this kind of spontaneous mirth. Collect them. Fill your home with them. Right now I'm within spitting distance of countless things that tickle me: people, books, cards, dogs, songs, photographs, silly newspaper clippings, Web sites, and, of course, medication. All right, not medication, but it amused me to write that down. Score one for my toddler self.

  从你的环境中找出激发这种发自内心欢笑的事物,收集起来. 让它们充满你的家. 现在,和我距离咫尺的就是那些能逗乐我的事物:人,书,卡片,狗,歌曲,照片,愚蠢的剪报,网站,当然,还有冥思. 好吧,最后一个不算,但是,我觉得写下来后能把我逗乐. 给那个"初学走路的"我又得了一分..

Exercise three:

Tap teenage torridness. What laughter is to childhood, sex is to adolescence. Now take three deep breaths while vividly remembering the best sexual experience you ever had. Don't worry about whatever happened afterward—you had twins; he got a sex-change operation—just recall the physical details of that fabulously unforgettable encounter. Notice how your breathing deepens and your muscles begin to relax. You may start to feel a delicious melting sensation as your body shuts off stress hormones, replacing them with the elixir of love. Congratulations: You've just retrofitted your body to operate more like it did when you were a teenager! Whatever your calendar age, by recalling a passionate encounter, you reawaken the vitality of adolescence, without the acne.

  拿来花季年龄的燥热. 如果说儿童时期拥有的是欢笑,那么青春中拥有的就是性. 现在,深呼吸三次,同时,栩栩如生地回忆其曾有过的最好性经历. 别担心后面的结果--结果你生了一对双胞胎; 而他做了变性手术!--只要去回忆那次难忘经历中的身体上的细节. 注意你的呼吸如何变深,你的肌肉如何开始放松. 也许当将身体"压力荷尔蒙"关闭,用不老长寿药--爱情-来取而代之时你会感到一种美味融化的兴奋.恭喜你: 你已经对身体翻新改进了,让它能更如同过去还是十来岁少年时那样运作了! 不论你的生辰年龄多大, 回忆一次热烈的邂逅, 都能唤醒青少年时期般的活力,还不用起粉刺.

[ Last edited by hly_2009 at 2008-3-6 11:41 PM ]

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Post time 2008-3-6 23:18:18 |Display all floors
Discover the Wisdom of the Ages

Here's an exercise that reaches forward in time, rather than backward.

Discover the Wisdom of the Ages

Think about the worst aspect of your present life situation, a problem you're not sure you can solve. Now invite a visitor into your presence. The visitor is you, age 150. But, you may be thinking, "I probably won't live to see 150." Precisely. The visiting You has already died physically, but your consciousness is still intact, radiantly alive. This much older You remembers everything about your history, without any fear. (By the way, you don't have to believe in life after death for this to work. Just play it as a game.)

  想想看你目前生活中那个最糟糕一面,一个不确定是否能解决的问题. 现在,请一位探访者到你面前. 这位探访者就是你---150岁的你.:"我大概活不了那么长"你也许会想. 完全正确. 那个来拜访的"你"已经肉体上死了,但是,意识还完好,清朗活泼. 这个岁数大地多的"你"记得你的历史中每件事,且毫不带着恐惧. (顺便说说,进行练习中,你不必去相信存在后世.只需要成一个游戏吧)

Exercise four:

Watch the future You for a while. Notice how relaxed this self is, how free from stress or anxiety. Then ask about the situation that's currently worrying you. Say, How on earth did you handle this situation? Ask, What did you do when you were in my shoes? Say, When will I be happy again? This exercise has gotten me through more tough times than I can count. I've learned from my 150-year-old self how to write a book, earn a living, survive the loss of friends and family members. She always has an answer and a little courage or comfort to give me, even when I have none (and she never gets tired—I'm telling you, the woman is spry). Your future self is waiting for an invitation to visit you with similar advice. Extend that invitation by letting your felt age zoom into the future, instead of trying to force it backward into youth. Armed with imagination and desire, you can jump to any phase of the life cycle. You become a wizard, free to enjoy every stage of life but trapped by none, able to age backward, forward, and sideways at will. By gathering all ages together, you'll define yourself in a way the calendar never can.

  看着一会儿这名未来的"你". 注意到这个未来的自我有多么放松;多么无压力无焦虑. 然后,问问关于现在让你烦恼的事情. 例如: 到底你要如何来处理这个情况? 问一问那个未来的"你"当你出于我的情况下会去做什么? 例如, 我什么时候会重新快乐起来? 这样的练习让我度过无数个困难时刻.  从那个150岁的我那里,我学会了如何写书,谋生,如何承受朋友和家人的失去. "她"总会带给我一个答案,一点勇气或一些抚慰.即便我没有的时候(而且,她孜孜不倦--真的,这个女人很有精气神). 你的"未来自我"在等待着你发出邀请,让他/她给出相似的建议. 让你的感受年龄前往未来,发出邀请吧,别要强迫它回到年轻的过去. 带着想象和渴望, 你就能在任何年龄畅游驰骋. 你会成为一位巫师,自由地享受每一个年龄阶段,不会受困, 你的年龄能够随心所欲地回到过去,前往将来,平行移动. 通过把所有年龄都集于一身,你就能以实际年龄绝对做不到的方式来定义自我.

[ Last edited by hly_2009 at 2008-3-6 11:48 PM ]

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