Author: modman

Romance or friendship? [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2008-3-5 15:50:28 |Display all floors
Originally posted by modman at 2008-3-5 13:58
I'm a 47 year old single male living in the U.S.  and I recently met a nice young Chinese lady who I would estimate to be about 30 years old. She was my waitress at one of the local restaurants. I  ...


I couldn't fully understand her action..... Maybe she indicated you should keep a certain distance from her.... Not too far nor too near..... She didn't want your to be intimate with her and meanwhile she didn't like your to be her common friend....  But for my part, I maintain you two face some language barrier and culture shock....
Another day , another dollars!

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Post time 2008-3-5 16:21:00 |Display all floors
Originally posted by lacaterina at 2008-3-5 15:49


Well, ordinary Chinese girls act ordinarily. lol. Really hard to describe.I dont think there is too much difference between girls from different places. We are not alliens or anything. C ...


lacaterina......from your description of Chinese girls, I can tell you that most American girls are just the opposite. Most American girls are independant and don't really want to be taken care of in a relationship...that is unless they were raised in the rural south in an old fashioned southern culture...and that way of life is going by the wayside.

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Post time 2008-3-5 16:27:35 |Display all floors
Originally posted by modman at 2008-3-5 16:21


lacaterina......from your description of Chinese girls, I can tell you that most American girls are just the opposite. Most American girls are independant and don't really want to be taken care ...


Well, a lot of Chinese girls are becoming more and more independent too. Like myself. lol. . But generally speaking, most Chinese girls enjoy the feeling of being taken care of. Of course, as how to define "being taken care of ", that varies. But one thing to be sure is that most want someone who would shoulder the responsibilty and someone they can turn to when they have difficulties.

Still, it all depends on the individual.

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Post time 2008-3-5 16:59:02 |Display all floors
Originally posted by lacaterina at 2008-3-5 16:27


Well, a lot of Chinese girls are becoming more and more independent too. Like myself. lol. . But generally speaking, most Chinese girls enjoy the feeling of being taken care of. Of course,  ...


Do you live in China? Were you born in China? I'm just curious because a Chinese person born in the U.S. would probably have a different outlook on things than a Chinese person who was born in China.

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Post time 2008-3-5 17:02:54 |Display all floors
Originally posted by modman at 2008-3-5 16:59


Do you live in China? Were you born in China? I'm just curious because a Chinese person born in the U.S. would probably have a different outlook on things than a Chinese person who was born in  ...



I never step out of China all my life! lol.

Oh, one more thing, China is a vast country and region difference plays a big part in people's mind and behaviors too.

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Post time 2008-3-6 01:22:25 |Display all floors
Originally posted by modman at 2008-3-5 13:58
I'm a 47 year old single male living in the U.S.  and I recently met a nice young Chinese lady who I would estimate to be about 30 years old. She was my waitress at one of the local restaurants. I  ...


If you have not done anything offensive within your cultural and intellectual awareness...why looking for it?...The Chinese lady has her own unique personality and life style...if she decided not to talk to your for a while...or even for good...I really don't see the problem there...I believe if she wants to take her time...she definitely can exercise her choice...clearly she is in the driver seat...she has demonstrated by her action that she is an independent woman...Chinese or not!

A good relationship does not have to continue for ever...when you have a good relationship going, it is wise to enjoy it for the moment...there is an old saying: "Enjoy it while it lasts"....relationships are gifts from mother nature...they are wrapped in all kind of papers...like the rain man said,  "Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get."

My suggestion is to take it easy...enjoy what you have...and don't look for flaws in you or others...be yourself.... and who knowns what life will bring you?!

By the way...if you are looking for so called cultural clues only...well, good luck in your search...China is huge and Chinese cultures are different from one city to the next...in old time it would be from "one village to the next village"...every Chinese is unique...some are more analytical and some are not...some are more semantic and some are not....some are more materialistic and some are not....some are more gentle and some are not...some are more submissive and some are not....some are more subtle and some are not....some are more rational and some are not....hope you catch my drift!:)

A woman is a woman...offer her the best you got...the rest is up to her...and vice versa....don't you think that is the rule of  thumb in a relationship?

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Post time 2008-3-6 04:07:14 |Display all floors
Originally posted by thunderbird at 2008-3-6 01:22


If you have not done anything offensive within your cultural and intellectual awareness...why looking for it?...The Chinese lady has her own unique personality and life style...if she decided n ...



I do not think that what you told her is bad or any hint.Probably this particular woman sounds so strange.
If she gets offended so easily you are gpoing to have many communication problems .
Better not invest in her neither for a romance  nor for a friendship.
There is a category of people who  always misunderstand.
Better keep a distance unless you want to have problems.
I really    love China,半个 中国 人

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