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How to Stop Overthinking Your Life and Start Living(e-c)practice [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2008-2-29 23:29:27 |Display all floors
How to Stop Overthinking Your Life and Start Living
如何停止对生活过度思考并开始生活

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Why do smart people make everything difficult? Think easy, says Real Simple’s life coach, Gail Blanke, and everything else will follow

  为什么聪明的人总会把每件事都变得复杂?生活教练Gail Blanke说,想简单------一切就都会简单。

I had only enough money to last two more weeks. And the lease on the tiny furnished apartment I had rented for a month was about to expire. So, basically, I had one week to find an apartment and a job. I was 23 years old, jobless, and about to be homeless in New York City.

  我只有维持两个多星期的钱;租来的一个月的公寓将要到期。 所以,基本上说,我有一个周找公寓和工作的时间。我23岁,无业,在纽约市流浪街头。

And as odd as it sounds, I wasn’t worried. I mean, how hard could it be? A week should be plenty of time, I thought. I was young and naive and from Ohio, where people pretty much say what they mean, do what they say, and assume that the shortest distance between two points really is a straight line. We also tend to believe that, on the whole, things work out the way they’re supposed to. A few days before my lease was up, I told all three of my friends, who were smart native New Yorkers, that my time for job searching and apartment finding was almost over. They were horrified. “Gail, it takes weeks, sometimes months, to find an apartment here. You’ll probably get a job, but talk about cutting it close! Are you crazy?”

  听起来虽然古怪,但是我并不担心。 我是说,这有多难?我看一周的时间应该是充足的。 我年轻、幼稚,来自俄亥俄州。那里的人们基本上是心直口快;言行如一,认为两点之间最短的距离就是一条直线。我们还往往认为整体来说事事注定。 在我房租契约到期几天前;我告诉了三名都是聪明幼稚的纽约人的朋友,我要找工作和公寓的时间结束了。他们听了很惊骇:“Gail,在纽约,找公寓要数周;有时候,要数月的时间。你大概能找到一份工作,但是,你只留这么少的时间!你疯了?"

I wasn’t crazy. It just had never occurred to me that it would be hard. And, as it turned out, it wasn’t. I had decided that I wanted to work at one of the television networks — NBC, ABC, or CBS — and had, with my “exuberant persistence,” as one interviewer put it, scored interviews with all three. The nicest person I met was a guy named Tom Swafford, who was the director of community affairs at WCBS-TV. At the end of the interview, he said, “Well, Gail, one way or the other, we’re going to hire you. Call me in two weeks.”

  我没有疯。 只是我从没考虑过那会是很难的一件事。结果,并不难。 我决定我希望在一家电视网工作--NBC,ABC或CBS--在我的”非凡的坚持“下(一位面试者的话),我从所有三家都获得了面试。Tom Swafford是我见过最好的人;他是WCBS-TV的社区事态主任。 在面试结束时,他说:”好吧,Gail,不管怎样,我们将要雇佣你。两周后打电话给我“

Sure enough, I called Tom on the appointed day, and he said, “Gail, I’ve got a job for you. I’m making you manager of the Channel Two film library. One hundred and fifty dollars a week.” I was beyond thrilled. Now all I needed was an apartment. It was Monday, but I found the Sunday New York Times real estate classifieds in a trash basket. Under apartments for rent, I read, “74th St. off Prk; studio, 3rd fl wkup; avlb immed.” I called and spoke to a Mr. Mullins, who said to come on over. It was just one room, with a minuscule kitchen that you had to walk through to get to the bathroom, but I loved it. “How much is it?” I asked. “One hundred and seventy-five dollars a month,” Mr. Mullins answered. “Well, I can only pay $150,” I said. (I had been told you should spend only a week’s pay for a month’s rent.) He paused for a moment, looked me over, and said, “You seem like a nice enough girl. You can have it for $150.”

  当然,我在指定那天打电话给了Tom.他说:“Gail,我有一份工作要给你。 我现在让你做二台胶片馆的管理人员。一周150美元“这令我激动万分。 现在,我要的只有一间公寓了。 那天是周一,我在一个垃圾篮中找到一份周末版的纽约时报的分类广告。在租房栏目下,我看见”74号大街。。;“我打电话给一个叫做Mullins先生的人。 他让我过去看房; 那是一室带小间厨房的公寓。进洗手间你要穿过厨房,但我喜欢” 我问:“价格多少?”Mullins先生回答:“一个月175美元” 我说:“可我只能付150美元”(有人告诉我只能用一周的收入来付一个月的租房钱)他停顿片刻,对我大量一番,说:“你看上去是个好女孩。你给150美元吧”

So I skidded in under the wire with both a job and a place to live. “You are ridiculously lucky,” one friend said. Another girl, who turned out to be a lifelong pal and who was wise beyond her years, said, “No, it’s not really luck. Gail is just too simple to make things complicated.” Being simple, I decided to take that as a compliment.

  于是,我就及时地获得了一份工作和一个住的地方。 一位朋友说:“真算你走运” 一位后来成为终生挚友而且是聪明过人的女孩说:“不,其实不是运气;Gail只是太简单的一个人,所以不会把事情搞得很复杂” 简单的一个人----我于是决定讲它当作一句赞美。


[ Last edited by hly_2009 at 2008-3-1 12:27 PM ]

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Post time 2008-2-29 23:30:50 |Display all floors
Now, here’s the problem: I’ve grown up (sort of), and I’ve learned a lot over the past few decades. I’ve become a bit less naive, and at times my “exuberant persistence” fades. In fact, there are times when I seem to be asking myself, How hard, how complicated, how overwhelmingly difficult, can I make this? (Maybe I’m not spending enough time in Ohio.) I have to catch myself almost every day. Not long ago, when I was trying to figure out what to wear to the Financial Women’s Association annual dinner, I realized that I had fallen into the “How hard can I make it?” trap. I was going to sit on the dais with some pretty snazzy women, and I wanted to look good. Perfect, actually. I made a list of different outfits: a red dress, a yellow dress with a jacket, a simple navy suit — the list went on. But I didn’t stop there. I also drew little pictures of each outfit, along with the shoes I would wear and the bag I would carry. And still I couldn’t figure out what to wear. My daughter Abigail, who is 25, straightened me out. “Why are you making this so hard?” she said. “The invitation says, ‘Business attire.’ Just wear the navy suit and have a good time, OK?” Well, I wore the navy suit, which was fine, met some truly terrific women, and had a marvelous time.

  问题:我已经长大(算是吧),我在过去几十年里学到了许多。 我已经变得不那么幼稚了一些;时而,我的”非凡的坚持“品格会消退。事实上,我几乎每天都要”逮住“自己问:我能让这个多么地困难、多么地复杂、多么地艰难时(。)这样的时刻。不久前,当我努力考虑在Financial Women’s Association的年度晚宴上穿什么的时候,我意识到自己跌入了”我能让这个多么难?“的陷阱。那是,我将要和一些非常时髦的女性们坐在一起,我希望看上去不错。 准确地说,是完美。我列出了一份不同打扮的清单:红裙子;黄裙子和夹克;简单的一件海蓝色衣服--等等。 当时,我还没有就此罢休。我还给每套打扮以及要穿的鞋子;要带的包都画了小图画。而我还是不知道要穿什么。 我的如今25岁的女儿帮我解围。 她说“为什么你要让事情变得这么难?请帖上写了‘生意着装“,穿一件深蓝西服,玩的愉快,Ok?”
我于是穿了那件西服;结果不错,我解释了几位真正出色的女性,并度过了一个美好时光。

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Post time 2008-2-29 23:32:01 |Display all floors
Why do we do that? Why do we insist on doing it the hard way when the easy way will do? I think it’s because the more we learn, the more “educated” we become, and the more analysis we engage in, the more we set the stage for all the possible pitfalls to present their ugly selves in living color. Next thing we know, we’ve analyzed ourselves into a straitjacket. We get so consumed by the negative possibilities that we become inert. I wish I could say I have learned my lesson and don’t fall into the “How hard can I make it?” trap anymore. But, boy, would that be telling “a Tom Pepper,” as we call little white lies in our family. In fact, Abigail was so fed up with my “What will I wear?” dilemma that she said, “You know, you ought to write about this, Mom. Maybe you could help yourself along with some other people.”

  为什么我们会那么做?为什么容易的方法能办到的事情;而我们执意要用困难的方法?我想那是因为;我们学的东西越多;我们越来越“有教养”;我们就越多地会去做分析;我们会更加把所有可能的陷阱搬上舞台来呈现它们丑陋的面目。接下来,我们在自己分析时让自己被束缚。由于被那些消极可能性极大地消耗着,所以以至于我们变得迟钝。我想我能说自己已经学到了自己的一课;所以,不再会跌入那个“我能让它变得多么复杂?”的陷进中。但是,。。。事实上,。。对我“我要穿什么?”的话受够了,她说:“你真应该为此写些东西,太太,这样也许你能帮助自己的同时还能帮助到一些其他的人”

So let’s learn this together. Let’s decide now that whenever a situation presents itself (a situation with our children or parents, a dinner party to prepare, a change of office space or homes, a vacation or a wedding to plan, a job to find — you name it), we will hold on for one second before we start piling on all the possible pitfalls and instead ask this question: “How simple, how straightforward, how really easy could I make this?”

  那么让我们一起学习吧。 让我们现在来决定不论何时一个问题出现(一个和孩子、父母、准备晚宴聚会、换办公室或搬家、计划度假、婚礼;找工作-等等),在让大脑充满把所有可能的陷进之前,我们将止住一秒钟用来问这个问题:“我到底能把这变得多么简单、直截了当?"

Now, a few demons will have to be beaten down to accomplish this. Demon Number One: perfectionism. Forget it. The solution is not going to be perfect, and you’re not going to be perfect. To aspire to making things perfect is to court discord among family and friends. And, anyway, perfectionism is totally overrated. Perfect people are too hard to relate to. We’ve all been to dinner at people’s homes (maybe even our own) where the hostess was so exhausted from her efforts to create the perfect party that we almost felt like telling her to go upstairs and lie down, right? It’s no fun for anyone.

  现在,要做到这点,首先要击败几个”魔鬼“ 。 ”一号魔鬼“:完美主义。 别惦记了。 解答根本不会完美,你也不会做到完美。
要让事情完美就是在家人和朋友里招惹意见不合。不论如何,完美主义彻底被抬高了。 完美的人很难亲近;我们都去过别人家做客吃饭(也许甚至在自己家中)。女主人绞尽脑汁地努力举办一次完美聚会;而我们几乎都想告诉她上楼去躺下,对吗? 这样的聚会对任何人来说都没有乐趣。

Which brings me to Demon Number Two: Don’t think you have to do it alone. Big mistake. The minute you hear yourself say, “You go ahead. I’ll do it. Don’t worry about me,” you’re in trouble. Nobody likes a martyr. Involve as many people as you can in any effort you undertake. And, no, they may not do things as well as you would, but since we’re not looking for perfection, it won’t matter.

  ”二号魔鬼“:别认为自己要一个人承担。 大错,当你听见自己说:”你去忙把,由我来;别担心“时,你就有麻烦了。没人喜欢”烈士“。 不论做任何事情,让尽量多的人参与其中。不,也许他们做地没你好,但是,因为你不再找完美,也就没有关系了。

And, finally, Demon Number Three: When something goes wrong, don’t get upset — roll with it. If something goes awry with the party, the move, the program, the presentation, or whatever (and something will), don’t get angry or even disappointed. Just go with it; be amused. We love people who “lean into it” when little and not-so-little things go wrong. One of the best dinner parties I ever went to was a cookout last summer where the family chef ran out of propane. The barbecued chicken was nowhere near done, but all the other elements of the meal were ready, and it was getting late. One of the guests said under his breath, “Uh-oh, they’ve got a problem.” But the chef and his wife just looked at each other and burst out laughing. “This is easy!” they said. “We’re going to reverse the order of this dinner. We’re starting with dessert, which will be a great change, don’t you think? And we’re ending with good old oven-roasted chicken.” Everyone laughed and applauded and dived into the strawberry shortcake. A year later, we’re still raving about that dinner. If it had all gone right, if it had been “perfect,” we would have forgotten about it.

  最终,”三号魔鬼“:当事情遇到困那,不要心烦--和它打成一片。 如果一次聚会、行动、计划、演讲或者无论什么(肯定会有什么)出了茬子,不要生气,或者甚至失望。只要顺其自然:发笑。 我们喜欢在小事情或不那么小的事情出错时那些投入其中的人。我参加过最好的一次晚宴聚会是去年的一次野炊;那时家厨的丙烷用完了。 烤鸡肉离烤好还差得远,但是,其它食品都做好了,而且,时间已经不早了。一位客人低声说:“哦,他们遇到问题了”。 但是那位厨子和他的妻子彼此看了看,突然爆发出笑声,两人说:"这简单,我们把进餐顺序反过来;从甜点开始。这样的变化很好,不是吗?我们最后再吃用烤箱烤的鸡肉”。 每个人都大笑、鼓掌;并尽情地开始吃起草莓脆饼。 一年后,我们依旧在极力夸奖上次的晚餐; 假设本来一切顺利,一切“完美”,我们本就会忘记了。

So what will it be? Hard or easy? Simple or complicated? Perfect or really wonderful? Remember — it’s summertime, and the livin’ is supposed to be easy. Let’s make it that way. If I can do it, I guarantee you can, too.

  怎样?是困难还是方便?简单还是复杂?完美还是极好?记住--夏季来临;生活就应该简单。 让我们使它简单吧。
如果我能做到,我保证,你也一样能。


[ Last edited by hly_2009 at 2008-2-29 11:33 PM ]

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Post time 2008-2-29 23:32:53 |Display all floors
Your “To Don’t” List
一些“不要做”的事情

Quit these five habits and make everything easy
抛弃以下五个习惯;让每天生活变得简单起来:

1. Don’t overanalyze or overcomplicate situations; commit to taking the easy way. The shortest distance between two points really is a nice, straight, simple line.

1. 不要过度分析或复杂化情况; 采用容易的方式。 两点之间最短的距离其实就是漂亮而简单的直线。

2. Don’t become consumed by the negative possibilities: What if nobody shows up for the party? What if nobody ever wants to hire me again? What if it rains for the wedding? Assume a positive outcome. You’re much more likely to get it.

2.不要被各种消极可能情况所“吞噬”:万一舞会没人来参加怎么办?万一永远都没人想雇佣我怎么办?万一婚礼那天天下雨怎么办?假设一个积极结果;那么,得到这个结果的可能性就大的多。

3. Don’t insist on perfection. Perfectionism isn’t fun. And striving for it will exhaust you. Nobody wants to hang around with an exhausted perfectionist.

3.不要执意寻求完美。 完美主义里并没有乐趣。努力追求完美会让你筋疲力尽。没人愿意在一位精疲力竭的完美主义者身边。

4. Don’t do it alone. No matter what project you’re executing, get as many people involved as you can. Martyrs are boring.

4.不要独干。不论在做什么项目,尽量让越多的人参与其中;做“烈士”很令人无聊

5. Don’t become angry or upset when things don’t go according to plan. Just laugh, if you can, and roll with it. Think of the most memorable and delightful moments in your life. I bet they were the times when the dog ate the roast beef or you got lost on your vacation or the groom was two hours late. Hey, that’s how memories are made.

5.当事情没有按计划进行时不要生气或烦乱。 如果可以的话,去大笑,去打成一片吧。 想想生活中那些值得怀念、快乐的时刻。我敢打赌,那就是当你的狗吃了烤牛肉;或在度假时迷路;或新郎晚到两小时。 嘿,记忆就是这样诞生的。

What have you made easy lately? Share your stories — and read what others have said.
最近,你让什么变得简单了? 请分享你的故事--再来看看别人都怎么说的。

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Post time 2008-3-5 17:04:10 |Display all floors

Why no people says something ?

It's a great a story!
I like !

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Post time 2008-3-5 17:21:49 |Display all floors
Thank you for your reply :-)

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Post time 2008-3-5 17:28:43 |Display all floors
nice translations

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