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translation check 那日与一18岁小妞聊天... [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2008-2-23 00:54:49 |Display all floors
Hi,

Can someone please check my translation?:

那日与一18岁小妞聊天,听她的人生规划,单纯的野心勃勃,突然发现与之年龄的差距需要两只手才能数得过来。那是有一些嫉妒的羡慕,我第一次,真的真的,觉得老了。青春已经撕裂在某一个缤纷的夏天,或者沉没在某一个萧索的冬天,在无知无觉之中。

The other day, I was chatting with an 18-year old girl who told me all the things she was doing every day. That’s for sure, she doesn’t lack ambition. But suddenly I realised (与之年龄的差距 ??? different at her age ???), I was using both hands to make calculations. I feel jealous because first of all I feel old. My youth was ripped at one of these colorful summer times or sank at one of these depressing winter times, without knowing it or feeling it.

(Sorry about the poor quality of the English :-)

Context:

想写字给时间,用来祭奠,或者安慰。
总是有很多的事情应该去做,要去做,张罗着去做,却都还没有开始,时间就过去了。时间啊,你为什么不等我呢,等我一切都准备好了,再与我同行。
那日与一18岁小妞聊天,听她的人生规划,单纯的野心勃勃,突然发现与之年龄的差距需要两只手才能数得过来。那是有一些嫉妒的羡慕,我第一次,真的真的,觉得老了。青春已经撕裂在某一个缤纷的夏天,或者沉没在某一个萧索的冬天,在无知无觉之中。

cheers
Valéry
做英语法语翻译。

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Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2008-2-23 01:17:31 |Display all floors
The other day, I was chatting with an 18-year old girl who told me about all her plan in life - of pure ambition. Suddenly I realised our difference in age couldn’t be worked out without using both hands! It was an admiration with kind of jealousy. For the first time I really felt my age, really. My youth had been torn in one of those colorful summers or had sunk in one of those depressing winters, without my knowing it or feeling it.

与之年龄的差距
之 = (pronouon) her
the age difference between her and me

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Rank: 4

Post time 2008-2-23 01:28:27 |Display all floors

merci Tumu!

做英语法语翻译。

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Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2008-2-23 03:08:40 |Display all floors
那日与一18岁小妞聊天,听她的人生规划,单纯的野心勃勃,突然发现与之年龄的差距需要两只手才能数得过来。那是有一些嫉妒的羡慕,我第一次,真的真的,觉得老了。青春已经撕裂在某一个缤纷的夏天,或者沉没在某一个萧索的冬天,在无知无觉之中。


On that day, I chatted with a 18-year-old chick, listening to her life plan with her naive ambition, and suddenly I was aware of  our age gap that need to be counted by both of my hands. That is a touch of jealous admiration.  I, for the first time, indeed, felt myself growing old. The youth has been torn away in a certain colorful summer, or it submerged into a desolate winter before I realised that.
Talk in English rather than talking about English.

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