Author: holly666

holly's diary [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2008-2-27 22:14:00 |Display all floors
Wednesday, February 27, 2008, fine

The short spring speeds by. As mid-summer is upon, flowers begin to fade. The lively campus is getting quiet. The only flower which still stays on the tree branch is especially attractive.

Once I was deeply drawn to one yulan magnolia which stood there alone with its edge turning a little yellow and dry. Its appearance suggested its whithering in one day or so, but in the sunshine it still stood firmly, trying to show us its beauty and elegance. Though dying, it left a brilliant impression on me, which made me think a lot.

With the growth of my age, I’ve experienced the saddest parting of my grandparents, and I’ve heard of more and more death of the colleagues of my parents, my elderly relatives, several classmates, or some acquaintances. Whenever I heard of the sorrow news, I would feel unrest for a while, sighing life is short. Once in a while, I would think of myself and my cloest relatives, my parents, my sister, my brother, my hubby, my daughter and so on. I know we are destinated to be parted, but I can’t even stand the thought of it. How can I bear that? I’d like to pass away before any of them rather than live to see any of them go by. That’s why Song Mei-ling(宋美玲) said her long life was a punishment by God. Do you think so?

That’s one reason. Another reason is that I can’t imagine the suffering of loneliness which my six-year-old niece knows. The other day we celebrated my mother’s birthday together. After we all drank to the health and long life of my mother, my niece said calmly, “Grandma, how lonely you’ll be if you live that long after we all leave.” We all laughed to tears. It’s so simple a truth that even a little child understands. Sad or happy?

Anyway, I wish all of us would live or die like the last yulan.
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Post time 2008-3-8 17:37:26 |Display all floors
Saturday, March 8, 2008, cloudy

I've resigned and come back home to look after my daughter, accompanying her to take the college-entrance examinations. From now on I have to get used to everything without going to work. It's a completely new life for me. On the one hand, I will not be forced to get up early to go to office on time, on the other hand, without much to do, I feel too relaxed and a little empty. Contradictory.

Since I came back, I have only seen a sunshine day. In my next diary, you will get more and more "cloudy". Sigh.

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Post time 2008-3-10 10:49:10 |Display all floors
Holly,long time no see,so you finally appeared,how glad I'm    So I can continue to read your diaries series,I'm much absorbed in  your life experience and your  thoughts about life . You quited your job and returned to your hometown to  look after your daughter with her life and study.How great  mother's love is,parents can do anything ,make any sacrifice to make their children live better.

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Post time 2008-3-11 20:08:16 |Display all floors
Tuesday, March 11, 2007, fine

Hi, xunhuan - I'm glad to meet you too. Thank you for your attention. I'd like to have something to share with you.

I've come back. Though I feel a little empty, it's very convenient for me to live here. I can reach anywhere on foot within half an hour, let alone any traffic jam. On the contrary, the roads seem too wide for fewer people and buses to run on, which makes me feel a little restless. I've been used to the busy streets with hustling people and hooting buses. Now I have to adjust to the present life, cooking for my daughter and helping her with her study. In the morning I have to get up at 6, preparing breakfast for her. In the afternoon, I would send supper to her school at 18:00 and at night I would go and meet her after class at about 22:00. At last, I would accompany her until midnight. Then we went to bed with the recorder on.

I, together with my daughter, will experience a second college-entrance examinations, a more intensive competition than mine.

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Post time 2008-3-12 10:11:26 |Display all floors
Holly, you are really a great mother to male such sacrifice to your daughter. Well, the entrance exam is in no more than three months' time. It is an important time in life. You can still read during this period, enjoy the stay with your daughter. Your accompany and care is her strongest support.

I can see that still you miss your work days   May I ask what kind of job were you engaged in? How long have you been engaged in it? Did you like it very much? Was it your ideal job? And another question, how do you balance work and family? Which one do you think is more important? Your daughter is the most important I guess. My aunt also values her daughter most. My cousin is going to graduate from primary school this June or July. My aunt hopes that her daughter can achieve good score in the entrance exam to middle school. As they just moved to their new house and the new house is quite far from the school my cousin studies in. So my aunt rent one near the primary school to accompany my cousin and cook for her. My cousin does not perform well in her study, so every evening my aunt spends one hour  to study together with her. Mother is really great!

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Post time 2008-3-13 21:00:14 |Display all floors
Thursday, Mar 13, 2007, fine

I became a teacher after graduation. I worked hard and gained some progress and honour. However, as a traditional Chinese woman, I began to follow my husband and took my family as my centre after marriage. Ten years later, I came to Beijing after my husband and worked as an editor until a few days ago. Now that children are the centre of all families in China, I have to follow my daughter and help her as possible as I can. As is known to all, the present generation grow up in the parents' arms. They are taken good care of on all sides, thus they are not as independent  as us. When they live with their parents, they appear mature and usually turn deaf ears to their parents. Once they are separated from their parents, they don't know how to deal with everything. They are so weak in mind that they still need caring. Besides people value education so much that they dare not fail. Therefore, the nervous atmosphere surrounds all of us and everyone is forced to try their best to help their children in order to enter a good college. Compared to other children, my daughter has another disadvantage that she is forced to leave us and goes from a relatively easy condition to a more difficult one. In that case she needs more psychological caring. So I have to join the "examination army".

What I can do is cook and listen to her. But I have already felt she becomes calm and confident. So I think it's worth my sacrifice. I can return to work after she goes to college. I'd like to take this period as a short rest in my long life, though I'm not used to it.

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Post time 2008-3-17 16:43:59 |Display all floors
Monday, March 17, 2008, cloudy

My city is so small that I can come across acquaintances everywhere I go. So if I want to go somewhere on time, I will start out earlier, allowing for the time talking with someone on the way, not the traffic jam. What’s funny is the following.

One Sunday, I, together with my daughter, went shopping. We happened to meet a beggar who begged us for money. As the middle-aged man looked healthy, we didn’t give him anything. When we left, he scolded, “You fool. You are looked down upon.” Then we knew he might be a lunatic. We didn’t care and wandered on. A few minutes later, we got to another street when we met him again face to face. He reached out his box before us, saying some mad words. We fled immediately. This morning I saw him a third time. Haha.

I have lived in Beijing for more than ten years, but I’ve only met my acquaintances twice in the street.

So you know how small my city is.

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