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Any correction on the English? [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2008-1-16 13:05:12 |Display all floors
我不敢说生命是什么,我只能说生命像什么。

生命像向东流的一江春水,他从最高处发源,冰雪是他的前身。他聚集起许多细流,合成一股有力的洪涛,向下奔注,他曲折的穿过了悬崖峭壁,冲倒了层沙积土,挟卷着滚滚的沙石,快乐勇敢地流走,一路上他享受着他所遭遇的一切:



I dare not say what life is but what life is like.

Life is like spring water ever following eastwards. He originates from highest place. Ice and snow are his preforms. He gets together a lot of streamlets and becomes a torrential wave going downwards. Winding its way through cliffs and crags, rushing down lays of sands and holding them, he always flows happily and bravely while enjoying what he experices en route.

[ Last edited by rainbow at 2008-1-16 01:32 PM ]

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Post time 2008-1-16 14:06:04 |Display all floors
1.I dare not say what life is but what life is like.
I dare not say what life is.  What I can tell is what it seems like to me. 这样比较自然清晰。
2. 用他指代生命倒是挺有意思的," But why HE?" 女权主义者发问了,我也从修辞含义的角度发问了----是否有特别的含义?
3.going downwards
"Going" is  too weak, too simple. "Dashing", "plunging", 这样的青春才有活力。
其他真的很不错, 有点罗素的风格了。

[ Last edited by househusband at 2008-1-16 02:16 PM ]
If winter comes, can spring be frozen ahead?

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Post time 2008-1-16 14:26:28 |Display all floors
1.I dare not say what life is but what life is like.
I dare not say what life is.  What I can tell is what it seems like to me. 这样比较自然清晰。


Thanks for touching up. It looks much better than mine.

2. 用他指代生命倒是挺有意思的," But why HE?" 女权主义者发问了,我也从修辞含义的角度发问了----是否有特点含义?


The original is used to  masculine gendre so I just follow it. It was written by Bingxin, who is one of my favorite Chinese writers.

3.going downwards
"Going" is  too weak, too simple. "Dashing", "plunging", 这样的青春才有活力。


The words you replaced are cool.

[ Last edited by rainbow at 2008-1-16 02:39 PM ]

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Post time 2008-1-17 09:57:24 |Display all floors

Paragraph 2

有时候他遇到巉岩前阻,他愤激地奔腾了起来,怒吼着,回旋着,前波后浪的起伏催逼,直到他过了,冲倒了这危崖他才心平气和的一泻千里。有时候他经过了细细的平沙,斜阳芳草里,看见了夹岸红艳的桃花,他快乐而又羞怯,静静地流着,低低的吟唱着,轻轻地度过这一段浪漫的行程。


Sometimes rugged rockes are in his way, and then he surges fiercely, roars, welters wave by wave . Until rushing down rockes and getting across the cliff, he plunges afar vigorously in peace. Sometimes he passes through fine sands in the setting sun. Seeing flamboyant peach blossoms on both banks, cheerful and timid, he  runs  placidly with croon, spending quitely  away the romantic stretch of his journey.

[ Last edited by rainbow at 2008-1-17 10:58 PM ]

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Post time 2008-1-17 10:10:01 |Display all floors
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[ Last edited by rainbow at 2008-1-17 01:27 PM ]

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rovi297 has been deleted
Post time 2008-1-17 10:48:59 |Display all floors

How about....?

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Post time 2008-1-19 15:50:07 |Display all floors

Paragraph 3

有时候他遭到暴风雨,这激电,这迅雷,使他心魂惊骇,疾风吹卷起他,大雨击打着他,他暂时浑浊了,扰乱了,而雨过天晴,只加给他许多新生的力量;有时候他遇到了晚霞和新月,向他照耀,向他投影,清冷中带些温暖:他只想憩息,只想睡眠,而那股前进的力量,仍催逼着他向前走……


Sometimes he suffers from a tempest. Lightning and bolt shiver his soul. And high wind blows him away, while heavy rain beats him up bitterly. He's just being muddy in a state of confusion temporarily. After that, the sun rejuvenates him with new juice again. Sometimes he meets with  afterglow and crescent shining upon body, casting their shadows on his flesh. Being Lonesome but somewhat warm, he only wants to take a rest, a sleep. However that forward strength has been pressing him for making his way on and on...

[ Last edited by rainbow at 2008-1-21 10:15 PM ]

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