Author: hly_2009

心理学堂之Handling Resentment(e-c)practice [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2008-1-14 17:39:16 |Display all floors
Steps in overcoming resentment

Step 1: To overcome any resentment I have against a person or people in my life I first need to identify who they are and what they did to make me resentful. I need to answer the following questions in my journal:


A. Toward whom in my past or present do I hold any level of resentment?

A. 我对过去或现在哪个人有任何程度的怨恨?

B. What did each of these people do to hurt, offend, or victimize me?

B. 他们的什么行为使我受到伤害、被冒犯或成为受害者?

C. How real or imagined are these offenses?

C. 这些冒犯的真实成分和想象成分有多少?

D. What has the specific resentment against each of these people done to my attitude about me and my future?

D. 这样的明确怨恨对于我对自己和自己的未来的态度上有什么影响?

E. How paralyzed am I in my efforts toward personal growth by the resentment I carry toward each of these people?

E. 我对这些人的怨恨造成我个人成长多大的瘫痪?

Step 2: Once I've identified each person I have resentment against and the extent to which this resentment has affected me, I need to develop a new way of looking at my past, present, and future life. To do this I need to answer the following questions in my journal:


A. What irrational thinking am I locked into because of my resentment?

A. 出于怨恨,我被困在了一个什么样的非理性思维中?

B. How will ridding myself of resentment help me to develop a positive belief system in my life?

B. 为自己消除怨恨将如何帮助我在生活中建立出一个积极的信念体系?

C. How can I loosen the bonds and open myself in anger work-outs over those I resent?

C. 我要如何松开束缚,让我对怨恨的事物进行愤怒发泄

D. What blocks my attempts to express my anger openly?

D. 是什么阻碍了我公开表达愤怒

E. How hard am I working at overcoming my blocks to anger?

E. 克服愤怒阻塞中我做出了多大努力

F. What new behavior do I need to develop to freely express my anger and rid myself of energy-draining resentment?

F. 要自由表达愤怒,消除耗尽精力的愤怒,需要我培养出什么样新的行为

G. What new rational thinking do I need to develop to overcome the negative impact of my resentment?

G. 要克服怨恨的消极影响,我需要培养哪些的理性思维

H. How will my life be positively impacted by getting rid of my resentment?

H. 消除怨恨后会如何积极地影响到我的生活

I. What new behavior do I need to develop to ensure that new resentment doesn't arise?

I. 要不出现新的怨恨,需要培养出哪些的新的行为?

J. What new attitudes and approaches do I need to develop after ridding myself of resentment?

J. 在消除了怨恨后,我需要培养出哪些新的态度和处事方法?

Step 3: Now that I've considered a change in attitude and belief system, I need to:


A. Write in my journal a letter (I will never mail these letters so I can be as brutally honest and straight forward in them) to each person I resent. In it list all real or imagined offenses.

A. 在我的日记中给每个”怨恨人“写一封信(因为我绝不会寄出去,所以我要对自己十分坦白,直奔主题)。列出所有实际的、或想象的冒犯

B. Explain for myself why each person treated me badly. Was it real or imagined?

B. 替自己解释为什么每个人都对我那么坏,那是真实的吗?还是想象中的?

C. Forgive each person, let go, and forget the offenses. (See the prologue of this book for an example of a letter of resentment.)

C. 原谅每个人,算了,忘记

Step 4: Once I've let go of all of my resentment through forgiving and forgetting, I need to visualize my life, present and future, without the negative impact of resentment. I need to log this vision in my journal, and affirm its reality daily.

第四步:一旦通过原谅和忘记排解了所有怨恨,我需要去考虑我的生活、现在和将来、不受怨恨的影响。 我需要把想法都记录在日记中,并每天确认真实性。

Step 5: If I am still bogged down by the negative effects of resentment, then I need to go back to Step 1 and begin again.


[ Last edited by hly_2009 at 2008-1-14 05:41 PM ]

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Post time 2008-1-16 18:50:32 |Display all floors
useful article

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Post time 2008-1-16 20:03:03 |Display all floors
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