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How To Feel Good About Yourself(e-c)practice [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2008-1-8 17:14:41 |Display all floors
How To Feel Good About Yourself
By Mitch McCrimmon


We are all hooked on the same set of tactics to help us feel good about ourselves, most of which have no lasting effect. To achieve sustainable self esteem, the first step is to become more aware of how our usual tactics are self-defeating.

  我们都会采用相同的手法来让自己自我感觉良好,但是大部分都效果不长久。 要保持长久自尊,第一步就是要更加地意识到通常这些方法都是具有自我击败的特点。

Your Unproductive Self Esteem Building Tactics

1. Feast on bad news about other people. The media feeds us universally bad news because it meets our deep need to feel good about ourselves. Seeing other people suffering makes us feel that we are not as bad off as we think. When we see people in California lose their homes to fire, we feel that, however hard up we are, they are worse off. We feign sympathy while inwardly feeling relief.


  媒体报道坏消息就是为了满足我们深层次的自我良好感觉。 看到他人的痛苦,我们感到自己还不算糟。 当我们但到加州有人房子着火,不论我们自己多么穷,都会感到他们更糟糕。我们在假装同情的同时内心得到了安慰。

2. Criticize other people or find ways to put them down. A common way to pump ourselves up is to gloat over the stupidity of others. As angry as the mistakes of others make us, we would be lost without them. We need their mistakes to realize that surely WE are not that stupid.

2. 批评或打倒别人

  抬高自己的普遍方法就是看别人出丑。 尽管别人的错误会让我们生气,但如果没有这些错误,我们自己就迷失了。 我们需要别人的错误来意识到自己肯定不笨。

3. Win as many arguments as you can. Being right is a good way to score points, if only to convince yourself that you are better than the other person. It doesn’t really matter if you distort the facts or overlook some inconvenient truths, as long as you can convince yourself and your opponent that you know best.

3. 喜欢嘴上占便宜

  做正确的一方是耍聪明的好方法,其实只是为了说服别人自己更强。 是否你扭曲事实或漏掉一些不便说出的真相也无所谓,因为只要你能够说服自己和对方你懂得的最多就行了。

4. Be quick to spot how people differ from you. Despite sharing 98% of our genes with chimpanzees, we can spot how people differ from us more quickly than an eagle can spot a mouse. Differences automatically mean inferiority in others and superiority in us. Looking for things we have in common with other people does nothing for our self esteem, so why bother?

4.迅速地找到别人和你不同之处。 虽然人类的基因和黑猩猩的基因98%的地方都相同,但是我们发现人和人之间不同的速度比老鹰盯上老鼠的速度还快。差别会自动地转化为自己优越性和别人的劣等性。 既然关注彼此相同点不会提高自尊,那么何必多此一举?

5. Align yourself closely to a select group – community, political party, ethnic group, religion, club, nation, age group or racial category. Just as we identify with winners in sports, we need us-them relationships with other groups to feel superior.

5. 和某个组织站到一起--社区、政党、少数民族、宗教、俱乐部、国家、年龄或种族。 正如我们在体育中在冠军们身上产生认同感一样,我们需要”我们-他们“的关系来感到优越。

6. Exaggerate someone’s faults. The greater someone else’s faults appear, the more faultless you can regard yourself.

6. 夸大某人的错误。 别人的错误看上去越大,就会把自己看得越”完美无瑕“

7. Blame someone else, circumstances or bad luck whenever something goes wrong to take the heat off yourself.

7. 不论事情不顺,总去谴责别人、环境、或运气,给自己减压

We are hooked on these tactics because they give us the same quick fix we get from food, drugs and alcohol. Equally, they give no lasting boost to our self esteem.


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Post time 2008-1-8 17:16:13 |Display all floors
Why We Feel Bad About Ourselves

Our search for more productive ways of building self esteem must begin by recognizing the self-defeating habits listed above. Next we need to understand why we feel bad about ourselves in the first place. Here are some of the most common reasons why we don’t always like ourselves:

  搜寻更有效的建立自尊的方法必须先从承认上面列出的“自我击败”特点的习惯开始。 然后需要了解为何首先对自己感觉不好。以下是最常见的一些原因:

1. We’re not sufficiently aware of our strengths and daily good deeds because they come naturally to us so we discount them by saying “Surely, anybody can do that!” The things we are good at, enjoy doing or find easy to do are indicative of strengths but we discount them as strengths precisely because they are easy for us.

1. 我们对自己强项、每天好行为的意识程度不足。 因为我们自然会做它们,所以就把它们贬低,称:“当然,人人都会那么做!”

2. Similarly, we overlook how much we have got to be happy about (like just being alive) and focus primarily on what we haven’t got.


3. We compare ourselves with unrealistic role models thanks to media attention constantly paid to the rich and famous.

3. 我们把自己同不显示的榜样作比较,因为传媒关注的往往是有钱人和名人。

4. We get more negative than positive feedback because people react to what annoys them. People want to focus on their own needs. As long as no one bothers them, they don’t notice good deeds unless they are remarkable. But as soon as you do something that distracts them from themselves, they turn nasty and put you in your place. No wonder you see yourself as a bad person.


5. We compare how we feel with how everyone around us behaves. If they seem OK, we feel worse because we think we are the only ones with bad feelings.

5. 我们把自己的感受和旁人表现做比较。 如果他们不错,我们感到不好,因为我们认为自己是唯一此时情绪不好的人。

6. Some parents idolize their children, making them think they are invincible and setting high, unrealistic expectations for them, thereby unwittingly setting them up to fail. Conversely, some parents go to the other extreme and see their children as never doing anything right.

6. 有些父母把孩子偶像化,让他们以为自己是无敌,给他们设定不切实际的高期望值,无意之间给他们设下了失败的陷阱。

7. We quickly forget our successes and good fortune. Even if we win the lottery, six months later we return to our normal state of dissatisfaction.

7. 我们会迅速将成功和好运抛在脑后。 即便中了奖,六个月后,又重新不满足起来。

This list is not exhaustive, but there are enough reasons here to be down on ourselves. You likely have your own unique reasons to beat yourself up.

  这些还不是全部,不过要对自己不好的理由是绰绰有余了。 可能你也有自责的理由

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Post time 2008-1-8 17:17:08 |Display all floors
Twelve Ways to Build Sustainable Self Esteem

1. Monitor yourself closely to avoid self-defeating tactics and short term fixes.

1. 密切观察自己避免采用”自我击败“的短期手法

2. Engineer more positive feedback for yourself by focusing a lot more attention on meeting the needs of others. Enough people will show appreciation if you do nice things for them to help you feel good about yourself. This is also about taking the focus off yourself, being less self-absorbed.

2. 通过把更多的注意力放在满足他们需求来为自己获得更积极的反馈。 如果你为人们做好事,那么就会有足够多的人表达谢意从而帮助你感觉良好。这也是把注意力从自己转移,更少程度沉迷自我

3. Recognize that everyone has similar fears, anxieties and low self esteem and that you have the power to make them feel better about themselves. Helping others is a sure way to feel good about yourself.

3.意识到人人都有相似的恐惧、焦虑和低自尊; 你有让别人对他们自己感到更好的能力。 帮助别人肯定是让自己感到良好的一个方法。

4. When you catch yourself thinking or saying something negative about people, force yourself to list a comparable number of positive facts about them.

4. 当你发现自己对在某人进行负面思考或谈论,强迫自己列出关于此人的一些相对来说积极的地方。

5. When you want to disagree with someone, begin by stating a few aspects of their position that are agreeable to you.

5. 当你和某人观点不同, 先阐述彼此立场相同的地方。

6. Become more aware of your strengths and daily good deeds. Stop taking them for granted just because they are easy for you to do.

6. 对自己的强项和日常善举更有意识。不要仅仅因为容易做它们,所以就把它们看成是理所当然。

7. Instead of placing blame, focus on the future, and ask yourself: “What can I do differently to improve this situation?” Take ownership. By placing blame, you disempower yourself. While you may feel better immediately by getting your anger off your chest, it never helps. in the longer term, to feel disempowered.

7. 不要责怪,而是关注未来,问自己:“我还能如何以不同地方式改善这种情况?” 。发挥主人翁精神。 责怪时,你放弃的是自己的力量。虽然立即消除了心胸的愤怒,但是并没有帮助。 长期下来,你会感到自己失去了力量。

8. Meet regularly with your team, boss or colleagues and review what went well since you last met. Most meetings focus on problems, creating a negative atmosphere.

8. 定期和团队、老板或同事开会,回顾一下自从上次会议来那些事情进展顺利。 大部分会议由于关注的是问题,所以制造出的是消极氛围。

9. Compare yourself with realistic role models and set realistic goals for yourself.

9. 把自己和现实的榜样比较,设定现实的目标

10. Regularly remind yourself of your good fortune, the reasons you have to be happy.

10. 常常提醒自己的好运、以及要快乐起来的理由

11. Be active. Practical action is better than excessive soul searching. Too much introspection breeds discontent and self-doubt.

11. 主动 实际行动比过多地做“心灵剖析"要强。 太多的反省产生不满和自我怀疑。

12. Spend more time with upbeat friends, less with those who are overly negative.

12. 花更多时间和快乐的朋友们在一起,少花时间和那些过度消极的人们在一起。

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