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How To Feel Good About Yourself|
By Mitch McCrimmon
We are all hooked on the same set of tactics to help us feel good about ourselves, most of which have no lasting effect. To achieve sustainable self esteem, the first step is to become more aware of how our usual tactics are self-defeating.
Your Unproductive Self Esteem Building Tactics
1. Feast on bad news about other people. The media feeds us universally bad news because it meets our deep need to feel good about ourselves. Seeing other people suffering makes us feel that we are not as bad off as we think. When we see people in California lose their homes to fire, we feel that, however hard up we are, they are worse off. We feign sympathy while inwardly feeling relief.
媒体报道坏消息就是为了满足我们深层次的自我良好感觉。 看到他人的痛苦，我们感到自己还不算糟。 当我们但到加州有人房子着火，不论我们自己多么穷，都会感到他们更糟糕。我们在假装同情的同时内心得到了安慰。
2. Criticize other people or find ways to put them down. A common way to pump ourselves up is to gloat over the stupidity of others. As angry as the mistakes of others make us, we would be lost without them. We need their mistakes to realize that surely WE are not that stupid.
抬高自己的普遍方法就是看别人出丑。 尽管别人的错误会让我们生气，但如果没有这些错误，我们自己就迷失了。 我们需要别人的错误来意识到自己肯定不笨。
3. Win as many arguments as you can. Being right is a good way to score points, if only to convince yourself that you are better than the other person. It doesn’t really matter if you distort the facts or overlook some inconvenient truths, as long as you can convince yourself and your opponent that you know best.
4. Be quick to spot how people differ from you. Despite sharing 98% of our genes with chimpanzees, we can spot how people differ from us more quickly than an eagle can spot a mouse. Differences automatically mean inferiority in others and superiority in us. Looking for things we have in common with other people does nothing for our self esteem, so why bother?
4.迅速地找到别人和你不同之处。 虽然人类的基因和黑猩猩的基因98%的地方都相同，但是我们发现人和人之间不同的速度比老鹰盯上老鼠的速度还快。差别会自动地转化为自己优越性和别人的劣等性。 既然关注彼此相同点不会提高自尊，那么何必多此一举？
5. Align yourself closely to a select group – community, political party, ethnic group, religion, club, nation, age group or racial category. Just as we identify with winners in sports, we need us-them relationships with other groups to feel superior.
5. 和某个组织站到一起--社区、政党、少数民族、宗教、俱乐部、国家、年龄或种族。 正如我们在体育中在冠军们身上产生认同感一样，我们需要”我们-他们“的关系来感到优越。
6. Exaggerate someone’s faults. The greater someone else’s faults appear, the more faultless you can regard yourself.
6. 夸大某人的错误。 别人的错误看上去越大，就会把自己看得越”完美无瑕“
7. Blame someone else, circumstances or bad luck whenever something goes wrong to take the heat off yourself.
We are hooked on these tactics because they give us the same quick fix we get from food, drugs and alcohol. Equally, they give no lasting boost to our self esteem.