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Marry him also means marry his family? [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 4

Post time 2008-1-2 20:36:59 |Display all floors
Most of my girl friends who already get married or who is going to marry like complained for their poor relationships with their mather-in-laws.....

and the worst case is that ......  one of my girl friend broke up with her  boyfriend  who is deeply loved by her only because she cannot get along well with his mother, so his mother asked him to break up with my friend, finally her bf did it..... she was soooo ooo sad about this ........  no wander more and more yong couples dont want to live with their parents......

And what bothering me is also this question.......i dont know how to get along with my boyfriend's  mother......

Is there any basic principle for this embarrassed  relationship between mother-in-law and daugther-in-law?????????

Dear friends, do you have the same question with me??? would you give me some suggestions????
Nothing hurts like the truth.......

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Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2008-1-2 22:12:40 |Display all floors
fall in love with a white guy, our parents know they can only have so much influence on our lives

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Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2008-1-2 22:23:59 |Display all floors

I get along with my husband's mother very well

I have always try to be good with her ----she is more than 80 years old. I just think I should, not because I'm his son's wife, but rather I am not engaged in such things. I don't have any problem with her, of course she dosn't live with me. but she would like the idea to live over here for a while.

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Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2008-1-2 22:27:23 |Display all floors

a white guy?

I think in western countries, the wife dosn't have so much of the problem as the wife in a Chinese family.
But my sister, my mother have good relationship with their mother-in -law too.

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Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2008-1-2 22:34:26 |Display all floors
Originally posted by babymichelle at 2008-1-2 20:36

Is there any basic principle for this embarrassed  relationship between mother-in-law and daugther-in-law?????????



The best and the only principle to follow in any relationship is the RESPECT.

Sadly i see there is not respect in other's people life here.

'Marry him/her also means marry his/her family" (or something like that) is a old saying and i agree within a reasonable and understandable families where nobody cross the boundaries of respect and privacy of the couple.

I totally disagree with many young people (and not too young) who always follow (even being adults) what the parents tell them.
We can listen suggestions, advices or any other warning words for our life and future from our love ones, but after that, we should do what our consciences and common senses tell us. NOBODY, even our parents can give us orders when its about our future or marriage. They already did their life and their work is to guide and to support us respecting our final desissions.

In your case, i dont know what is the problem between ur bf's mother and u, but try to talk to him and make him realize what is more important in his life. He should has a strong personality and courage to take his own desissions for a great future with you.
NOBODY can interfere in other's people life, even our parents.

Good luck

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Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2008-1-2 22:40:47 |Display all floors
Originally posted by sinfulgirl at 2008-1-2 22:27
a white guy?


well if she wants to marry a white girl then I guess that'd be ok, too.

otherwise we appear to agree on this cultural difference between China and the West

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Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2008-1-2 22:52:53 |Display all floors

You marry him, not his mother

I would think that in some extent I have nothing to do with his mother. I would respect her as I do to anyone.

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