Author: changabula

Why Am I So Shy? [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2007-8-8 03:55:32 |Display all floors
Originally posted by changabula at 2007-8-7 04:08
What is shyness, and how should I behave in the presence of others?

Why do I lose confidence when I am around other people, especially of the opposite sex?

How can shyness cause me to suffer ...


Depending on where you live - there should be a group or organization similar to the following groups:

http://www.toastmasters.org/

http://www.dalecarnegie.com

No joke - these folks can help you gain the confidence to at least present yourself in a public arena.
China's Eccentric 'Uncle Laowai' from Chicago, IL

http://blog.chinadaily.com.cn/home.php?mod=space&uid=135031&do=blog&view=me&from=space

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Post time 2007-8-8 03:58:54 |Display all floors
Ah. Okay. A dog wagging it's tail means "I'm happy" to me. To Chinese it's something else. Got it. Thanx Shelley.
Husband, father, farmer, logger, woodcutter, and rancher

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Post time 2007-8-8 09:03:46 |Display all floors
Changabula, shyness is part and parcel someone overly conerned with themselves. Most shy people are actually extremely selfish and self involved. They tend to care more about their own feelings and comfort then they do about that of others, and in turn they have a hell of a hard time reaching out and connecting with people. So many years thinking only of you instead of others has indeed left you lacking on confidence around them. Also, when around other people, all you'll tend to care about is you're own feelings, "how uncomfortable I am, how scared I am, I don't feel good." Thats the selfishness part. I guarantee you if you put half the energy into thinking about the feelings and comfort of others as you put into your own, you would have many friends. Think about it.

[ Last edited by kensei at 2007-8-10 07:36 AM ]

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Post time 2007-8-8 09:23:59 |Display all floors
Originally posted by kensei at 2007-8-8 09:03
Changabula, shyness is part and parcel someone overly conerned with themselves. Most shy people are actually extremely selfish and solf involved. They ten to care more about their own feelings and  ...


I read these tips on overcoming shyness:

(1) With time and effort, behavior can be changed. First of all, stop worrying about whether the other person is evaluating you. He is probably too busy thinking of himself and what he will say and do. And if that person childishly pokes fun at you, understand that he has the problem.  Those who are worth having as friends will judge not by outward appearances but by the kind of person you are.

(2) Try to think positively. No one is perfect; all of us have our strengths and our weaknesses. Remember, there are different ways of looking at things, different likes and dislikes. A difference of opinion does not mean a rejection of you as a person.

(3) Learn also to judge others fairly. First, don't be too self-centered by thinking too much about yourself, worrying about what people thought of what you say. Second, don't assign bad motives to the other persons — not trusting them and thinking they were going to look down on you.

(4) Think the best of people, not the worst. Learn to quit assigning bad motives to people. Tell yourself: “They’re going to be understanding, they’re going to be kind, they’re going to be considerate.” Begin to trust people. Realize that some might misjudge you, but is their problem.’

(5) Learn to be sensitive to the other people's needs, to think in terms of helping them.


Are these practical tips or just silly?
I am Chinese and Proud of it!

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Post time 2007-8-8 09:50:24 |Display all floors
open your mouth..
and then you won't shy again...
fluffy...

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Post time 2007-8-8 09:50:29 |Display all floors
I used to be shy when i was a child, but when the time goes by, and more people i met, the less shyness I feel.
You are the world

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Post time 2007-8-8 10:37:50 |Display all floors
even i am shy in the presence of the stranger ,especially facing to oppsite sex.
But increasingly with much practice, i have the confidence. If you have the success,you will be confidence,even if only a small success.
with time increases, you will be very confident and not shy .

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