Author: chaoss

Men ,would you accept a divorced women and her child [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2007-6-15 10:17:40 |Display all floors
Originally posted by chaoss at 2007-6-14 12:10
What is your opinion?

i may,but my parents and relative would not allow to do so
don't tell me that it is all up to myself.
anyway being a hot gossipy topic by others is not bearable

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Post time 2007-6-15 10:46:28 |Display all floors
Originally posted by chaoss at 2007-6-15 10:06
"This probably isn't the best place to get relationship advice."

So,where is the best place to get relationship advice?

Could you tell me ?

Go here:  http://marriagebuilders.com/   

There's probably a misunderstanding caused by a cultural gap here.  It was my impression that in China parents often depend on their children to support the parents in their old age.  Is that right or wrong?

If your parents were to kick you out of the family, who would lose the most?

Would marrying a woman with a child prevent the two of you from having another child?

If my parents did not accept my wife I would have to tell them I would miss them and would be available when they reconsidered their decision.   

I have no respect for those who gossip so  that wouldn't affect me at all.

Rather unfortunately I know what it's like to have disharmony in a family, in my family a change of religion caused my father to be kicked out of his father's house.   After some years had passed they came together again.

[ Last edited by juggler at 2007-6-15 10:49 AM ]

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Post time 2007-6-15 12:15:43 |Display all floors
"It was my impression that in China parents often depend on their children to support the parents in their old age.  Is that right or wrong?"
Yes ,for this case,they felt obliged to pay more attention to the problem that would the child treat them and me as well as the member of our clan when they grow up as a adult and realizes that they are not belonged the clan.

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Post time 2007-6-15 13:15:02 |Display all floors
Originally posted by chaoss at 2007-6-15 12:15
Yes ,for this case,they felt obliged to pay more attention to the problem that would the child treat them and me as well as the member of our clan when they grow up as a adult and realizes that they are not belonged the clan. ...
If they accept the child and treat it as one of their clan, that may or may not happen.  If they reject both the child and you as its adopted father it will certainly happen.  It seems you have more power to influence your parent's future than they do yours.  That is an assumption, I don't know if they are still supporting you or if you are living with them.  

I know it is difficult to go against your parents' wishes.   If the choices you make for your life are ethical and legal they should accept them.  They don't have to like or support them, but they can learn to accept them.

I do not know how to be Chinese.  I do know how to be married.

[ Last edited by juggler at 2007-6-15 01:18 PM ]

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Post time 2007-6-15 13:40:34 |Display all floors
I think it is not a problem.

In this case the man marries for love to the woman, and if the woman have child/children he should loves them too.

If the woman has children and there is love and this man is in the capacity to maintain a home in that way, I do not  see any problem at all.
The children have nothing to do in the luck that they have to live, without father by divorce or without father because he died.   
We can not blame and point them as a problem, they are kids, at contrary, we must support them and to give them the love that they  deserve and they need

Definitely is a decision based in true love and maturity of the man

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Post time 2007-6-15 18:07:35 |Display all floors
Originally posted by force_one at 2007-6-15 13:40
   
Definitely is a decision based in true love and maturity of the man   
You are right.

Perhaps it is best that the man let the woman go.

She needs a husband who will make her and her child the most important things in his life.  Not one controlled by his parents.

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Post time 2007-6-16 12:56:12 |Display all floors
Originally posted by force_one at 2007-6-15 13:40
I think it is not a problem.

In this case the man marries for love to the woman, and if the woman have child/children he should loves them too.

If the woman has children and there is love and ...


Sounds so fair and true!:)
***always to be yourself***

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