Author: whitney16

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Post time 2007-4-18 11:50:45 |Display all floors
Originally posted by xiaoxiao1982 at 2007-4-17 11:54
Westerners  would say : "Why doesnt she divorce him?''

Chinese would say :"  "resort to a divorce which obviously does her no good and in the end gets no fortune..''  

这是两种中西方截然不同的观点.
想想一个女人为什么能忍受她们丈夫的背叛和虐待,承受巨大的精神折磨,却不敢面对离婚后可能带来的贫穷以及压力..哎..中国女人有时真的不懂爱惜自己.
总之: 无论如何不让自己受到这样的对待.!


and different law I think, marriage law in china seems effect very little in protecting women, besides pressuresfrom--family members or kids and potential rumors from society, that's just another chain on her....if marraige is like a jail
that's why more people like prison break over desperate housewives...

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Post time 2007-4-18 12:25:44 |Display all floors
Originally posted by xiaoxiao1982 at 2007-4-17 11:54
Westerners  would say : "Why doesnt she divorce him?''

Chinese would say :"  "resort to a divorce which obviously does her no good and in the end gets no fortune..''  

这是两种 ...


Good point.
I can see the chinese point of view AND the western one... I think the difference lies in what would likely happen AFTER divorce. In the west, divorce is not s horrible thing. If a man meets you and likes you and you say you're divorced, he will probably be ok with that, especially if you're both a little older. EVen in the US, a lot of people (especially when they're still young) would prefer a person who's never been married yet, but as people get older they realize that s*** happens.... relationships change, people don't keep their promises, people get divorced. It's not evil, it's not that you're a bad person, you're not "ruined" in some way... you still may be a great person who simply was in a bad situation. So among people over 30 or 40, if they're looking for someone they'll be more likely to accept someone who's been divorced.

And I also agree that ALL women should have a healthy amount of self-worth. In the US it would be more shameful to stay in a marriage where you (and maybe everyone else) know you're being lied to, cheated on, disrespected, maybe abused, etc. It's like kids on a playground... if a bigger kids bullies you, will you put your head down and take it or will you fight back, or at least walk away with your head up saying, "You're a jerk, I don't have to put up with you, see ya!"

Would you stand up for your best friend or sister who is being treated like crap? Then why won't you stand up for yourself when you're being treated like crap?

(that's a western view, I think. I'm from there.)


[ Last edited by freakyqi at 2007-4-18 12:27 PM ]
I am not rich.  :L

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Post time 2007-4-18 12:31:57 |Display all floors
劝和不劝离---well an old but deep-rooted chinese view that when you give them advice it should be about how to bring them together and/or compromise, not how to divorce...
so matchmaker is welcome and regarded as good thing, not a marriage consultor

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Post time 2007-4-18 12:40:54 |Display all floors
Originally posted by superkylin at 2007-4-18 12:31
劝和不劝离---well an old but deep-rooted chinese view that when you give them advice it should be about how to bring them together and/or compromise, not how to divorce...
so matchmaker is welcome ...



no wonder many women must suffers things like this!

if compromise are all couples have to do to make a marriage that works, then the divorces rate would not had be so freaken high, and less rebellious and drug addict children (a lot times, many couples don't realizes that what they do don't just affect them, but also their children too.)
today we are living in a constant updating world, sometimes keeping old mind/traditions really doesn't help, because even if you don't change and just hope for the best, but sometimes things had already changes around you , and you maybe just didn't know it!
When things gets out of control, tradition theory won't help you much, and then you will realize  that sometimes holding on really just give you more pains!
without WOMEN, there wouldn't be ANY men

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