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20 pills of joke (e-c) practice [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2007-4-15 14:12:11 |Display all floors
(1)  
Shortly after lunch, I looked out my apartment window and noticed a truck parked outside. On the side, in large letters, it read, "Specialty: Extermination of Rats, Mice, Vermin, Etc." And then, in smaller letters, "Discretion Assured."

吃过午饭不久,我从我的公寓窗户朝外望去,看见外面停了一辆卡车。卡车身旁上面的大体字写着“专业:灭鼠,灭虫。等”
接着在后面,用小一号的字写着“客户信息一律保密”

(2)

I was working at the base exchange one busy day when the line grew quite long. There was much grumbling among those waiting, but one man made light of the situation. He approached a woman who was obviously very pregnant and tapped her on the shoulder. "Would you mind my asking a personal question?" he said. "Were you pregnant when you got in this line?"

一个繁忙的一天,我正在军事基地内商店工作。要购物的人排起了长队。 在等候的队伍中一些人发起牢骚。但有一位却显得不急不躁。他来到一位显然是典型的孕妇的女士面前,拍了拍她的肩。“您介意问你一个私人问题吗?”他说道“你排到队伍中时,在怀孕了吗?”

(3)
Walking into the building where I worked, I'd be greeted by a sign for another tenant's business. It was big and bold and screamed "Robertson's Sound Studio." Just below that one was a second, even larger sign. It shouted "Ear Piercing."

在走进我上班的大楼中时,映入眼帘的同楼内另一家公司的公司标牌,上面大大的写这粗体字“罗伯逊音乐室”。像是在大叫。紧挨在这块牌子下面是另一个标牌,上面的字体更大,似乎在大叫地写着“穿耳洞”

(4)

Safety was job one at my old company, so we were told. During a safety training course, the instructor asked, "Does your company have an evacuation plan?" "Yes," said one employee, "and it works without a hitch." "Really? How'd you do that?" "We practice every day at five o'clock."

在我工作的老公司,安全是第一位,我们也是这么教导的。在一次安全培训课上,教导员问道:“在你公司有没有安全撤退方案” 其中一个员工说“有, 而且不会出差错“ ”是吗?你们是怎么做到这点的?“ ”我们的演练是安排在每天下午五点钟“

(5)
Soldiers' combat clothing is not supposed to be ironed, according to an unwritten rule. That, however, did not prevent one sergeant from slightly massaging the regulation. "Gentlemen," said the sergeant to his troops, "I cannot order you to press your combat dress. Nevertheless, for tomorrow's parade, uniforms will be allowed only four wrinkles, with one wrinkle running directly down the center and rear of each leg."

有一条潜规则,说的是士兵们格斗装不能用烫斗去烫。但是这样的规定却不能阻止一位军士在上面做文章。 他对手下士兵说“各位, 我不能命令你烫平你们的作战服。但尽管如此,为了明天的阅兵式,所有的军装上只允许有四个褶子,就是每个裤腿前面后面都有的中间的那条“

(6)

While in the Navy, my primary duty was to sight guns. Wanting to move up in the military, I went to law school and applied for the Judge Advocate General's Corps (JAG). My hopes of being a Navy lawyer were shot down, however, when I was rejected. It seems I suffered from poor vision.

昔日在海军服役的时候,我的主要职责是给枪瞄准心。由于想在军队中得到提升,我上了法律学校,说报的专业是军法署(JAG)。但是想要成为 一名海军律师的希望破灭了,因为我的申请被拒绝。原因似乎是我有近视。

(7)
Thinking his son would enjoy seeing the reenactment of a Civil War battle, my niece's husband took the boy, Will, to the event. But the poor child was terrified by the booming cannons. During a lull, Will's dad finally got him calmed down. That's when the Confederate general hollered, "Fire at Will!"

我侄女的丈夫以为他儿子喜欢看扮演重现美国内战的表演,于是带着他去看表演。 但这个名字叫做Will的可怜的孩子被那些轰鸣着的加农炮吓坏了。 在安静下来后,Will终于平静了下来,正在这时,联盟军将军高呼”自主开火“的命令。

(8)

I knew it was time to upgrade our computer when I finished spell-checking a document. I had typed in a word I was certain was spelled correctly, but the computer failed to recognize it, offering instead "entrant," "interned" or "internee" as possible substitutions. The word in my document? "Internet."

在完成一份文档的拼写检查后,我觉着是该去升级我的电脑的时候了。 我输入了一个确信自己拼写正确的单词,但计算机就是无法 正确辨认,反而是提供”entrant", "interned"还有"internee"这样可能的替代单词。 你问我文档中的那个单词是什么? “Internet"

(9)

As the result of an explosive argument with our mother, my little brother pasted a sign reading "I hate Mom" on the door to his room, and slammed it shut. My dad, a school psychologist, came home after work to this tense standoff. "I'll take care of it," he confidently told Mom, and went into my brother's room. Minutes later, Dad came out. "He doesn't hate you anymore," he reassured her. Sure enough, my brother had crossed out "Mom" on his sign. It now read "I hate Dad."

和我母亲大吵大闹的争执过后,我那还小的弟弟在他房间的门上贴了一个标语,写着”我恨妈妈“,然后砰地把门一关。我爸爸是一位学校心理辅导老师。他下班回家正赶上这场紧张气氛的僵持。 他满怀信息的对妈妈说“我来处理”,说着走入弟弟的房间。 过了几分钟,爸爸出来了。 他对妈妈保证道“他再也不恨你了" .果然不假,我弟弟在纸上把妈妈名字划掉。不过这次上面写的是”我恨爸爸“

(10)
My husband, daughter and son-in-law are active in the Civil Air Patrol, the auxiliary of the Air Force. Recently they all attended a state conference, where my daughter told me her father would be receiving an award. The evening of the banquet, my husband called home, and I asked how it was going. "Oh, pretty good," he said, and we chatted about it. I wondered why he didn't say anything about the award, but, fearing that he hadn't gotten it after all, I didn't mention it. When he returned home, he said very little except that everything had gone quite well. "So, did anything special happen?" I prodded, wondering if I should just come out and ask him about the award. Finally he produced a plaque from his bag. On it was inscribed "Communicator of the Year."

我的丈夫,女儿,女婿在空军下属机构民航巡逻都干的不错。最近,他们全都参加了一场州会议。我女儿告诉我她将在会上获得嘉奖。 在那天晚上的晚宴举行的时候,我的丈夫打电话回家。我问情况怎么样。 他回答”哦,很好“。然后我们又聊了下情况。 我觉着 奇怪,为什么他对女儿的获奖只字未提。但又觉着毕竟他本人没获奖。所以我也没提起。 等到他回到家中,他除了说一切都进行的 很顺利之外根本没多说一点。 我提醒他”恩,没有特殊的事情发生吗?“,我在想是否干脆直截了当问他奖品的事。 终于他从他的包里拿出了一块牌子。上面刻着几个字”年度公共关系奖“

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Post time 2007-4-15 14:12:28 |Display all floors
(11)
On a family vacation one summer, we crossed Wyoming and noted several historical points of interest. The children were especially interested because they enjoyed the computer game "Oregon Trail," which gives players a taste of the hardships the pioneers endured. We stopped at the famous South Pass to look at the wagon tracks still visible in the dirt. Squinting out over the desolate, wind-swept landscape, my daughter nodded and said grimly, "This is where my oxen always die."

一次在夏天家里人去度假,我们穿过怀俄明州,发现了几处历史名胜旅游点。对它们,孩子们特别地感兴趣。因为他们喜欢玩一个名为 ”Oregon Trail"的电脑游戏。这个游戏让玩家体验到开拓者们艰辛的滋味。我们在著名的South Pass峡谷停下脚步,看着尘土中那依旧可见的马车车轮印。眯起眼睛,向那被风刮过的荒芜的地势望去,我的女儿点点头,严肃地说“这就是我的牛常常死去的地方”

(12)

Because I don't have a personal computer, I use one at my local library. One day I urgently needed to research something, so I hastily put on my gloves and helmet, and jumped onto my bike to head over to the library. Dashing into the building, I sat down and started to work. Moments later another library patron approached me. "Excuse me," he said. "I've heard of computers crashing, but this is the first time I've ever seen anyone wearing a helmet."

因为我没有个人本电脑, 要用电脑我就到家附近的图书馆。一天,我急着要查一些资料,所以我急速地带上手头和头盔,调上我的自行车,直奔图书馆。 冲入图书馆楼内后我便坐下开始用电脑。 过了一会,也是一位来图书馆的人走进我说道:"打扰,我说过电脑死机,但这是我头一会看见人带头盔用电脑“

(13)

"Could we reschedule our tennis match?" my friend asked. "I have to take my dogs to obedience school in the morning." "Obedience school?" I answered. "What if they don't want to go?" 我的朋友说”我们能重新安排下我们的网球比赛日程吗?早上我要把我的那几条狗送到服从学校“ "服从学校?”我问“如果它们不愿意去怎么办?”

(14)
The cardiologist at the ER had bad news for me: "You're going to need a pacemaker." Later, the nurse filling out the admission form began to ask me the standard questions: "Have you ever had mumps, measles?" etc. Seeing how upset I was, she put down the clipboard and took my hand. "Don't worry," she said soothingly. "This kind of heart problem is easily fixed, and your life will be much better as a result." I felt reassured until she continued: "Do you have a living will?"

急诊室的心脏病学家告诉我个不好的消息”你将得要装一个心脏起搏器“ 接下来,给我填写许可表格的护士问我一些标准问题:”你以前得过腮腺炎,麻疹吗?"等等。见我心情如此不好,她放下手中的夹板,握住我的一只手,以安慰的语气说“别担心,这类心脏问题很容易就解决,你到头来会很好” 我心刚放了下来,就听她说“你准备了一份遗嘱吗?”

(15)

As a judge, I was sentencing criminal defendants when I saw a vaguely familiar face. I reviewed his record and found that the man was a career criminal, except for a five-year period in which there were no convictions. "Milton," I asked, puzzled, "how is it you were able to stay out of trouble for those five years?" "I was in prison," he answered. "You should know that -- you were the one who sent me there." "That's not possible," I said. "I wasn't even a judge then. "No, you weren't the judge," the defendant countered, smiling mischievously. "You were my lawyer."

身为法官的我在一次给罪犯被告宣判的时候,突然看见一张有些模糊的脸。我对他的履历过了过目,发现这位是职业罪犯。期间只有一段五年的时间没有定罪。 我感到不解,于是问道”Milton,那五年你怎么能没有犯事呢?“ 他回答道”我在监狱中,你应该知道,是你把我送进去的“ 我说”这不可能,因为那时我还没当法官" 这位被告带着诡异地笑容反驳到“是啊,你那时还不是法官,你是我的律师”

(16)

I overheard my husband telling our son about a fishing game he downloaded off the Internet: "I played it for only a few minutes and caught two! "But you should have seen the one that got away," he continued enthusiastically. "It was at least two megabytes!"

我无意中听到丈夫和我们的儿子讲他从互联网下载的一个钓鱼程序。“我才玩了几分钟,就钓上两条鱼”"你真该看看那条溜走的“他兴致勃勃地说”那条至少有2M大“

(17)

Back in September 1996, I returned from Russia after living there nearly two years. One of the biggest changes during my absence was the advent of the Internet. My sister decided to surprise me by creating "welcome home" signs in Russian. She went to a website that offered translations and typed in "Welcome Home, Cole." She then printed the translated phrase onto about 20 colored cardboard signs. When I got off the plane, the first thing I saw was my family, excitedly waving posters printed with a strange message. My sister gave me a big hug, and pointed proudly to her creations. "Isn't that great?" she said. "Bet you didn't think I knew any Russian." I admitted that I was indeed surprised -- and so was she when I told her what the signs actually said: "Translation not found."

那还是在1996年的九月份,我刚从住了两年的俄国返回祖国。我不在的那段时期发生的巨大的变化之一就是出现了互联网。我的妹妹决定要用俄文“欢迎回家”做标语来给我一个惊喜。她找到一个提供翻译的网站,并输入“科尔,欢迎回家”的英文单词,然后把翻译过来的文字打印到了大约二十个彩色硬纸板的标语牌上。当我下了飞机,一眼就看到了我的家人,各个兴奋地挥舞着印着奇怪内容的牌子。 我的妹妹先是和我拥抱,然后得意地指着她自己的那些创作,说道“不错吧?量你每料到我懂俄问” 我承认但是确是感到惊讶--但当我告诉她上面实际上是说“无翻译结果”时,她也和我一样。  

(18)

Surfing around on the Internet, I came across the website for Tinkertoys. But what appeared on the screen was a banner reading: "Sorry. Website currently under construction."

一日,在网上冲浪,我恰巧来到一个拼接玩具的网站。但屏幕上显示的条幅是“很抱歉,网站正在建设中”

(19)

The community college where my ex-husband teaches is next door to the North Carolina School for the Deaf. One day he entered the computer lab and noticed a hearing-impaired student signing away animatedly -- but, it seemed, to no one in particular. He asked her interpreter if the student was okay. "Oh, she's fine," said the interpreter. "She's just swearing at her computer."

我前夫任教的社区大学紧邻北北卡罗来纳州聋人学校。一天他来到电脑室,发现一位有听觉障碍的学生在努力打着手语-但看起来没有对着个别的人。 于是他问她的翻译,是否她没事。 这位翻译说:”哦,她很好,只是在咒骂电脑“

(20)
I have a reputation at work for being a strict boss. One day I was in the break room with another manager. I reached into the refrigerator for my lunch, which was packed in an Ace Hardware paper bag. My co-worker stopped mid-bite and stared at me, looking a little tense. When I pulled my sandwich out of the bag, he sighed in relief. "What's the matter?" I asked him. "Uh, nothing," he replied, "I was beginning to think you really do eat nails for lunch."
我是一位出了名的”严厉"老板.一天,我同另一位经理在休息室。我伸手要到冰箱里拿我的午饭。午饭是装在一个ACE硬件的纸袋中。我的同事停止嘴里含着食物一动不动,盯着我看,看他表情似乎有点紧张。但我将我的三明治取出袋子后,他终于松了口气。我问他:“怎么了?”“呃,没事”他回答”刚才我以为你真把钉子当午饭“

[ Last edited by hly1234 at 2007-4-15 02:17 PM ]

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Post time 2007-4-16 08:54:41 |Display all floors

翻译文字游戏笑话的难处

(3) Walking into the building where I worked, I'd be greeted by a sign for another tenant's business. It was big and bold and screamed "Robertson's Sound Studio." Just below that one was a second, even larger sign. It shouted "Ear Piercing."

在走进我上班的大楼中时,映入眼帘的同楼内另一家公司的公司标牌,上面大大的写这粗体字“罗伯逊音乐室”。像是在大叫。紧挨在这块牌子下面是另一个标牌,上面的字体更大,似乎在大叫地写着“穿耳洞”


Sound Studio, screamed (尖叫), shouted (大叫), ear piercing (刺耳) 的相同处在于,它们的本义都同声音有关。但后三者在这里的用法,却又同声音没有关系——screamed 和 shouted 是抢眼夺目的意思,ear piercing 则是穿耳洞。这些双重意思表达不出来,笑话就没什么好笑了。

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[ Last edited by jl2315 at 2007-4-15 10:42 PM ]

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Post time 2007-4-16 09:08:40 |Display all floors

翻译文字游戏笑话的难处 (2)

(7) Thinking his son would enjoy seeing the reenactment of a Civil War battle, my niece's husband took the boy, Will, to the event. But the poor child was terrified by the booming cannons. During a lull, Will's dad finally got him calmed down. That's when the Confederate general hollered, "Fire at Will!"

我侄女的丈夫以为他儿子喜欢看扮演重现美国内战的表演,于是带着他去看表演。 但这个名字叫做Will的可怜的孩子被那些轰鸣着的加农炮吓坏了。等到炮声暂时停一阵子的时候,Will 在爸爸的安慰下终于平静了下来,但这时侯,又听到联盟军将军高呼“自主开火”的命令。


"Fire at Will!" 是“任意发炮”的意思,即各炮手不必等候指挥,可以尽情发炮。这本来已经够吓坏小孩的了。但更吓人的是,"Fire at Will" 也可以理解成“向 Will 开炮!” 而 Will 正是这个小孩的名字。

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[ Last edited by jl2315 at 2007-4-15 10:40 PM ]

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Post time 2007-4-16 10:06:11 |Display all floors

翻译文字游戏笑话的难处 (3)

(12) Because I don't have a personal computer, I use one at my local library. One day I urgently needed to research something, so I hastily put on my gloves and helmet, and jumped onto my bike to head over to the library. Dashing into the building, I sat down and started to work. Moments later another library patron approached me. "Excuse me," he said. "I've heard of computers crashing, but this is the first time I've ever seen anyone wearing a helmet."

因为我没有个人本电脑, 要用电脑我就到家附近的图书馆。一天,我急着要查一些资料,所以我急速地带上手头和头盔,调上我的自行车,直奔图书馆。冲入图书馆楼内后我便坐下开始用电脑。 过了一会,也是一位来图书馆的人走进我说道:“打扰,我说过电脑死机,但这是我头一会看见人带头盔用电脑”


crash 是死机,同时也是撞车。带头盔防止撞车受伤是正常的,带头盔以防电脑 crashing 则是......

谁能把以上这些双重意思翻译出来?

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[ Last edited by jl2315 at 2007-4-15 10:39 PM ]

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Post time 2007-4-16 11:36:13 |Display all floors
good ones!

Reader's Digest style jokes.

Good translations, Hly9999

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Post time 2007-4-16 17:30:20 |Display all floors
Thank you, Jl and Waibeijing
:-)

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