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Shortly after lunch, I looked out my apartment window and noticed a truck parked outside. On the side, in large letters, it read, "Specialty: Extermination of Rats, Mice, Vermin, Etc." And then, in smaller letters, "Discretion Assured."
I was working at the base exchange one busy day when the line grew quite long. There was much grumbling among those waiting, but one man made light of the situation. He approached a woman who was obviously very pregnant and tapped her on the shoulder. "Would you mind my asking a personal question?" he said. "Were you pregnant when you got in this line?"
Walking into the building where I worked, I'd be greeted by a sign for another tenant's business. It was big and bold and screamed "Robertson's Sound Studio." Just below that one was a second, even larger sign. It shouted "Ear Piercing."
Safety was job one at my old company, so we were told. During a safety training course, the instructor asked, "Does your company have an evacuation plan?" "Yes," said one employee, "and it works without a hitch." "Really? How'd you do that?" "We practice every day at five o'clock."
在我工作的老公司，安全是第一位，我们也是这么教导的。在一次安全培训课上，教导员问道：“在你公司有没有安全撤退方案” 其中一个员工说“有， 而且不会出差错“ ”是吗？你们是怎么做到这点的？“ ”我们的演练是安排在每天下午五点钟“
Soldiers' combat clothing is not supposed to be ironed, according to an unwritten rule. That, however, did not prevent one sergeant from slightly massaging the regulation. "Gentlemen," said the sergeant to his troops, "I cannot order you to press your combat dress. Nevertheless, for tomorrow's parade, uniforms will be allowed only four wrinkles, with one wrinkle running directly down the center and rear of each leg."
有一条潜规则，说的是士兵们格斗装不能用烫斗去烫。但是这样的规定却不能阻止一位军士在上面做文章。 他对手下士兵说“各位， 我不能命令你烫平你们的作战服。但尽管如此，为了明天的阅兵式，所有的军装上只允许有四个褶子，就是每个裤腿前面后面都有的中间的那条“
While in the Navy, my primary duty was to sight guns. Wanting to move up in the military, I went to law school and applied for the Judge Advocate General's Corps (JAG). My hopes of being a Navy lawyer were shot down, however, when I was rejected. It seems I suffered from poor vision.
Thinking his son would enjoy seeing the reenactment of a Civil War battle, my niece's husband took the boy, Will, to the event. But the poor child was terrified by the booming cannons. During a lull, Will's dad finally got him calmed down. That's when the Confederate general hollered, "Fire at Will!"
我侄女的丈夫以为他儿子喜欢看扮演重现美国内战的表演，于是带着他去看表演。 但这个名字叫做Will的可怜的孩子被那些轰鸣着的加农炮吓坏了。 在安静下来后，Will终于平静了下来，正在这时，联盟军将军高呼”自主开火“的命令。
I knew it was time to upgrade our computer when I finished spell-checking a document. I had typed in a word I was certain was spelled correctly, but the computer failed to recognize it, offering instead "entrant," "interned" or "internee" as possible substitutions. The word in my document? "Internet."
在完成一份文档的拼写检查后，我觉着是该去升级我的电脑的时候了。 我输入了一个确信自己拼写正确的单词，但计算机就是无法 正确辨认，反而是提供”entrant", "interned"还有"internee"这样可能的替代单词。 你问我文档中的那个单词是什么？ “Internet"
As the result of an explosive argument with our mother, my little brother pasted a sign reading "I hate Mom" on the door to his room, and slammed it shut. My dad, a school psychologist, came home after work to this tense standoff. "I'll take care of it," he confidently told Mom, and went into my brother's room. Minutes later, Dad came out. "He doesn't hate you anymore," he reassured her. Sure enough, my brother had crossed out "Mom" on his sign. It now read "I hate Dad."
和我母亲大吵大闹的争执过后，我那还小的弟弟在他房间的门上贴了一个标语，写着”我恨妈妈“，然后砰地把门一关。我爸爸是一位学校心理辅导老师。他下班回家正赶上这场紧张气氛的僵持。 他满怀信息的对妈妈说“我来处理”，说着走入弟弟的房间。 过了几分钟，爸爸出来了。 他对妈妈保证道“他再也不恨你了" .果然不假，我弟弟在纸上把妈妈名字划掉。不过这次上面写的是”我恨爸爸“
My husband, daughter and son-in-law are active in the Civil Air Patrol, the auxiliary of the Air Force. Recently they all attended a state conference, where my daughter told me her father would be receiving an award. The evening of the banquet, my husband called home, and I asked how it was going. "Oh, pretty good," he said, and we chatted about it. I wondered why he didn't say anything about the award, but, fearing that he hadn't gotten it after all, I didn't mention it. When he returned home, he said very little except that everything had gone quite well. "So, did anything special happen?" I prodded, wondering if I should just come out and ask him about the award. Finally he produced a plaque from his bag. On it was inscribed "Communicator of the Year."
我的丈夫，女儿，女婿在空军下属机构民航巡逻都干的不错。最近，他们全都参加了一场州会议。我女儿告诉我她将在会上获得嘉奖。 在那天晚上的晚宴举行的时候，我的丈夫打电话回家。我问情况怎么样。 他回答”哦，很好“。然后我们又聊了下情况。 我觉着 奇怪，为什么他对女儿的获奖只字未提。但又觉着毕竟他本人没获奖。所以我也没提起。 等到他回到家中，他除了说一切都进行的 很顺利之外根本没多说一点。 我提醒他”恩，没有特殊的事情发生吗？“，我在想是否干脆直截了当问他奖品的事。 终于他从他的包里拿出了一块牌子。上面刻着几个字”年度公共关系奖“